


I'll Protect You From the Shadows

by Hairi_Esh_Mooncake



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Introspective Alec, Longing, M/M, Manipulative Aldertree, Minor Clace, Parabatai Feels, Protective Alec Lightwood, Romance, Sexual Tension, Sibling Bonding, Some Fluff, Teamwork, even more minor Climon, malec feels, post 2x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-10-03 16:17:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10251236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hairi_Esh_Mooncake/pseuds/Hairi_Esh_Mooncake
Summary: After Valentine is captured things should have started to go back to normal but with the pressure from the Downworld the Clave is searching for a scapegoat to blame for things that could tarnish the Lightwood's name. There was one Downworlder whose loyalty to either side had been in question lately. Someone powerful enough to play both sides.The driving force of this story is Alec risking it all for Magnus and his inner struggles along the way.#SaveShadowhunters #PickUpShadowhunters





	1. How did it all go wrong so fast?

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after the events of 2x10. I'm completely making this all up. Don't expect canon here anymore. Though some canon issues could be explored in the story.
> 
> M rating: nothing overly explicit, but things do get intense.

Just a few hours after dawn, all the Shadowhunters were summoned for briefing. All that was left of them anyway, in the aftermath of the attack. The casualties were above imaginable and the tension in the Institute was not the atmosphere Alec or anyone else wanted to be part of.

But duty came first.

Aldertree was standing on the podium, addressing everyone with authority.

“Fellow Shadowhunters. The war with Valentine has been put to a stop but not without consequences. We mourn those that we lost and punish our enemies for their crimes,” he paused for a dramatic effect and then continued on, “Now, while the interrogation of Valentine Morgenstern is still in progress, there is a certain group of individuals that will be summoned for questioning as they have a direct involvement with the horrifying events that took place inside the walls of the Institute,” he said and even before the names were listed, the group had exchanged glances with each other, knowing what was coming next.

“Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood, Clary Fairchild, Simon Lewis – I expect you in my office immediately. For all the others, you’re on a temporary lockdown. Dismissed.”

Alec had to stay strong – as the leader and for Jace’s sake. Everything that took place that night was pure madness. The number of people they had lost… only the thought that Magnus wasn’t one of them gave him the push he needed to keep on moving straight.

He felt a soft, feminine hand on his forearm and looking up he saw Isabelle by his side, together with everyone else in a small circle their group seemed to have had formed.

“I will go with you. We should be in this together.”

“No, Izzy. You stay. You’re still weak from…”

Alec still felt very uncomfortable about everything that went down with his sister. They never really had a chance for a proper talk, but at least he was on speaking terms with her right now. He took it as a win. He reached to cover his palm over her hand on his arm, squeezing it slightly. “You should rest. We’ll tell him everything that we know and be back with you soon.”

“Yeah, Isabelle, don't worry, we’ll just tell him-“ Clary had started but was interrupted by Jace.

“-that I activated the Soul Sword?”

Despite his efforts, the closed off look on Jace wasn’t fooling anyone. Especially not Alec who could still feel so much guilt in Jace through their parabatai bond. He thought he was doing better but ever since he  _talked_  with Clary (which clearly he didn’t), he refused to speak with anyone else until the very start of the briefing.

“Jace, that wasn’t your fault. You tried to stop it,” Clary said from his side, her hand tentatively falling down on Jace’s arm. It only got brushed off, leaving a hurt look on Clary.

“Yeah, so much for that. It doesn’t matter now, let’s just go.”

“Jace…” Alec tried to stop him from leaving, but the intense wave of rejection that was coming through their bond, stopped him from going further.

“Maybe they won’t punish us,” Simon cut in, three pair of eyes turning to look at him with unbelievable looks on their faces. “I mean, we did help them catch Valentine, right? It must count for something.”

“Yeah, they might not burn you in the sun,” Jace spat sarcastically, really having no patience for the vampire right now.

“Technically I’m unable to burn in the sun right now-“ Simon was starting again but before he could elaborate the group had already reached the doors of Aldertree’s office and stopped short just outside. Ready to be asked in.

“Simon,” Clary chided him.

“Right. Sorry. Bad timing. I talk a lot when I’m nervous.”

“You always talk a lot,” Alec commented from the sidelines.

Simon nodded in an absentminded consideration of that. Clary shook her head at them and turned to Jace one last time. “We won’t let anything happen to you, Jace.”

“We won’t,” Alec assured him.

But the wry smile on his face told them that he didn’t really believe that.

“Might be already too late for that.”

* * *

 

Alec was asked in first.

He knocked just as he was asked to come inside.

“Alec, please, sit.”

Alec didn’t like the look on his face as soon as he stepped through the doors. Something about Aldertree just spoke volumes that he was up to something. Alec wondered if there was still a way for him to use Izzy’s case against him, just in case, no matter how much he loathed to put Izzy through trial that would come out of it if it were to be done.

He couldn’t have been more wrong. Or naive. 

Aldertee seemed at ease with himself – a hot cup of coffee in hand – he was enjoying the aroma of the beverage, sipping it in small amounts.

“Are you going to start yet or should I leave you for your coffee break?” Alec asked rather abruptly.

He couldn’t care less about the raised eyebrow of the Head of the Institute.

Finally with a sigh, the dark skinned man put the cup on the table – the resonating sound echoing in the dim lit office.

He put Alec under a steady gaze, letting him immediatelly know that he wouldn’t like anything that’s going to come out of his mouth.

“I have sent a fire message to the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane, for summons. I expect him to answer to my call or I’ll have to dispatch a unit to get him,” he told him casually, a crease appearing in Alec’s forehead, as his heart skipped a beat at hearing the name of his lover.

_What did they want from Magnus now?_

“Why? What do you need Magnus for?”

He absolutely disliked the lazy smirk that appeared on Aldertree’s face.

“For questioning, of course. He was also directly involved in the events,” he said, leaving Alec confused and defensive against the out-of-nowhere accusations that were being thrown at his lover.  

“What?" he asked. "How? He wasn’t even there when the Soul Sword activated.” 

“Yes," Aldertree drawled. "How very convenient for him.”

Something literally snapped in Alec at those words.

Did he really just say that or was he hearing things before his time? How could he even put the word “ _convenient_ ” to a life and death situation? If he wasn’t the Head of the Institute, Alec would’ve already had his bow ready to shoot. 

After everything that they had been through… after almost literally loosing Magnus... to hear someone say it was  _convenient_  for Magnus to what, stay alive?

He swallowed the tight lump in his throat, closing his eyes for a brief moment before addressing his boss again. “Convenient?” he asked, his voice cracking at the end. “Do you- He’s a Downworlder, he would have died if he stayed when the Soul Sword activated. You can’t honestly try pinning this on him for leaving-“

“Under suspicion of crime, yes I can.”

Alec felt his heart skyrocket to his throat as a sudden wave of panic started to settle deep inside his stomach. “What’re you talking about?”

The other man took a hold of the coffee cup on his table, taking his time to put it to the side before lacing his fingers on the table, leaning in towards Alec with a  hard no-nonsense look.

“It’s my knowledge that Magnus Bane took the young child warlock, who was responsible for twenty four Shadowhunter’s deaths, into hiding, himself unharmed. Is that correct?”

Alec felt himself shaking his head involuntary. Whatever Aldetree was planning, it wasn’t anything good and Alec rushed himself to start thinking of a quick escape route. His first stop being Magnus. Reaching Magnus and telling him to put his double… triple wards up, anything, just not come into the Institute.

“What’re you trying to do here?” he asked, forcing his voice to keep steady.

“Answer only the questions that I ask, Alec,” the other man said harshly. “Did he or did he not use a portal to take Madzie out of the Institute after she had slaughtered all those Shadowhunters?”

_The Clave needed someone to blame for all the horror that had happened…._

“He took Madzie out of there to stop her from using her powers anymore. To protect her and everyone else. She was being used. By Valentine. She’s only a child, what do you expect-“ he tried protesting in vain, but Aldertree seemed to only hear what he wanted.

“So the answer is yes.”

They needed someone to blame… a scapegoat… Valentine wasn’t enough. They needed someone to be responsible for letting Valentine act on it. Jace. His parabatai. He was a Lightwood, despite his lineage. Maryse wouldn’t put the Lightwood’s family’s name in danger.

_She would sacrifice a Downworlder, though…_

Alec felt he was going to be sick.

He abruptly stood up, rounding the chair, ready to march out of the room. “I need to leave.”

He needed to find Magnus.

He needed to tell him to run. Fast.

 _If the Clave was after him…_  

Aldertree’s voice stopped him from going further _. "_ Leave this room and you’ll be in danger of deruning. Again, I might add.” You could literally hear the smirk in his voice.

Standing with his back towards the Head, Alec couldn’t imagine that he would be feeling so powerless twice in a single day. He felt like a mouse trapped between the jaws of the mousetrap, immobilized but not dead yet.

After taking a deep breath, he turned around to face the man.

“Look, I don’t know what the Clave or whoever told you, but leave Magnus out of this. He’s done nothing but help us all.”

“Yes, “ Aldertree agreed, Alec thought naively for a second, before proven wrong. “Like how he had refused a direct order and assaulted a Shadowhunter inside the walls of the Insitute.”

 _That again?_  Alec shook his head, his hand coming to cover his forehead.

“He was saving my life!” he burst out.

Why couldn’t they all just leave him and Magnus alone? Just for once.

“That does seem to be his pattern,” the man noted and took a pen to, for God’s sake, write something down on his notepad.

Was he putting on a case on Magnus with Alec standing  _right there_? Right there, in front of him?

His breathing started to increase, he could feel himself losing the feeling of stability on the ground, going mostly numb in his legs. Was he going to fail Magnus again? He… loved him. He had just told him that, not even twenty four hours ago. He was supposed to be there for him and now… he should have never even opened up his mouth. He should have never even started, now Aldetree was plotting some kind of master case of making Magnus responsible for everything and Alec couldn’t do a damn thing to stop him, unless he wanted to risk deruning and then he would be greatly helpful as a damn  _mundane_.

Aldertree must have noticed him taking more and more gulps of air because he was ordered to get back to his seat again. “Sit down, Alec.”

His silence didn’t last long.

“So, were you or were you not the only Shadowhunter spared in the attack of the young warlock Madzie?”

Alec closed his eyes, just praying for this to be over soon.

* * *

 

As soon as the interrogation was over, Alec nearly bolted through the doors, ready to get back to his phone, inform Magnus and everyone else in the process to not say a damn word to Aldertree.

If he wasn’t as stressed as he was, he would’ve realized that Aldertree was letting him off too easy.

He only got as far as the first corner before he found himself trapped behind the wards inside the hallway, trapping runes on either side… his stele still back in his room, where they had orders beforehand to leave their things at.

“No… no no no, this is not- Aldertree, you can’t do- Clary! Jace! Izzy!” he yelled for anyone he could think of but the trapping wards being soundproof would never give him the results he wanted.

He slumped with his palms against the invisible wall.

“Damn it!”

* * *

 

There was a knock on the door and a petite redhead walked inside.

“Hello, Clary Fairchild. I’d like you to answer some questions for me.”

The smile he greeted her with, didn’t sit fully right with her but she wasn’t about to question his authority just yet.

She knew she had to help Jace out somehow.

* * *

 

 _There had to be a way_ , Alec thought.

Until the Clave put a solid case on Magnus, Aldertree could still be stopped.

He only needed to get out of those stupid wards and tell someone about it.

_He only needed to get out…_

* * *

“Look, I know I wasn’t supposed to be here tonight, but I was only trying to help Simon. I swear, If I had another choice-“

Aldertree stopped Clary’s rant with a hand.

“Yes. I know. But please only answer my questions. Is it true that you were portaled to the Institute despite knowing that your presence alone could bring destruction to the Downworld, by the High Warlock Magnus Bane?”

Clary shifted in her seat, not liking the sound of that.

She wanted to help Jace, but not put Magnus to blame for her own actions.

“He only did that because I insisted. Simon was in danger. Valentine had him, I couldn’t just leave him," she told him. "Look, he didn’t even care about his own well being. He only worried about Alec being safe-“

“Thank you, Clary. That’ll be quite enough. “

The smile he led her out of the room with worried Clary as if she had said something she shouldn’t have.

* * *

 

_Maybe he should have punched him?_

A few weeks ago, even in his wildest dreams he wouldn’t have pondered of the possibility of hitting the Head but these days he seemed to be so over all those rules that he felt almost back in his younger days.

_We’re Lightwoods. We punch noses and accept consequences._

At least he would have been unconscious long enough time to inform Magnus.

* * *

 

“Simon Lewis. I can assure you that your _Encanto_  will not be working here on me.”

The patient look Aldertree was giving to a frozen vampire was just that, patient. But nothing lasted forever.

Simon blinked at once, shaking himself out of it.

“Oh. Yeh, right. Sorry, I just- I’m kinda nervous.” He laughed a little, bouncing his feet noisily against the floor. “With everything that happened, you know- I mean, the Soul Sword, huh? I thought I was a goner there-“

“Yes, I’m very interested to know how did you survive the blast... when every other Downworlder in the room got killed?”

“Honestly? I have no idea. And does it really matter? I mean can’t a guy just be glad to not have turned into a fried egg on the floor? At least I am.”

The Head sighed.

“Simon, what is your relationship with warlock Magnus Bane?”

Simon feared he’d get the hard questions, like –  _How did Jace activate the Soul Sword? Was he aware he’d activate it? –_ but this? This was easy. These were the questions he could answer.

“Magnus? Oh, he’s my 101. For Vampire coaching,” he replied proudly.

“So, he’s your mentor?”

Simon nodded. “Yeah.”

There was a moment where notes were being written but before Simon could question it, he was asked out.

“I see. Thank you for your time.”

* * *

 

Jace could feel Alec’s worries through their parabatai bond. It was nearly as bad as just a few hours earlier today and if he was not absolutely sure that Magnus was fine, he’d be wondering if something else hadn’t happened to Magnus, but thinking where he was being led to, he could only come up with one answer – Aldertree must want Jace dead.

He wouldn’t care much about his life, but Alec, he wasn’t sure if his parabatai could survive his loss.

He couldn’t think of anything more, before he was led inside.

Aldertree was sporting a  _disgustingly_  sweet smile on his face, and he might not have been too big a fan of the man, but he couldn’t quite remember ever feeling so repulsed just by seeing him.

Must have been because the man was just about to announce his execution.

With a sigh, Jace sat down on the chair, opposite Aldertree.

“Jace Wayland. I must admit, I didn’t expect you back in my office just so soon.”

“Cut to the chase. You want to punish me, just do it. I am responsible for all those deaths. I killed all of them.”

Jace chided himself in his head. Way to go. Straight for the kill, Wayland. But he remained stoic on the outside.

“Technically, that might be true,” the man started, making Jace frown in confusion at the choice of his words. “But only partly. There’s a reason why you activated the Soul Sword. It was because  _Clary_  was there, right?” he purposely stressed Clary’s name out, which didn’t sit well with Jace.

Whatever he was trying to do, he would better be leaving Clary out of it. She wasn’t getting involved. Not on his watch.

“I didn’t activate the Soul Sword because of  _Clary_. I wanted to destroy it. I thought I had demon blood in me that could do that.”

Ironically, how all this time he despised having demon blood but when he truly needed it, just once in his life, then it failed him.

“I see.” Aldertree’s voice shook him back to focus. “And did you come by this information by yourself or..?”

Jace narrowed his eyes, thinking back. "No, um... an Angel showed me and Clary a vision.”

"And you interpreted that vision?"

"No." Jace shaked his head. "Magnus did."

The satisfied smile on Aldertre's face didn't sit right with him. "How very interesting."

"What's so interesting about it?" Jace asked, confused. "Magnus  _is_ a powerful warlock."

"Indeed he is." With a smile he seemed to look down and write something on his notes. Before Jace could ask about it, he looked up. "Jace, could you tell me how did Valentine seem to know you'd activate the Soul Sword?"

“He knew I’d try to save Clary if she was in danger.”

_What was he getting at?_

“And you only reached out for the sword because Clary was here, in the Institute. Just like Valentine planned.”

Okay, Jace was starting to absolutely not like the sound of all this, but the throbbing in his parabatai bond told him to hurry up and go to Alec, to reassure him that Aldertree probably didn’t want him dead.

Not for this, at least.

“Valentine had Simon. Clary would’ve never stayed away,” he said while something throbbed inside him painfully. Of course Clary would never stay put when Simon’s life was in danger. Especially now that they were an item… they were more inseparable than ever.

“Yes, but your friends were making sure that despite her pleas she would not be found in the Institute, right?” Aldertree asked, as if to be sure. It felt mocking, if anything. He damn well knew that they failed on that.

Jace leaned in towards the man, staring him right in the eyes. “Look, we had no choice. Magnus did what he thought was right. Like we all did.”

 _Crap,_  he could only think.

He must have said something wrong, if the creepy smile was anything to go by.

He hoped Alec was going to forgive him somehow.

“So it seems. Thank you, Jace. You’ve been most helpful to the Clave.”

* * *

 

Down in the closely secured chambers, one prisoner was waiting patiently until his time to strike again. He was desperate to look for any excuse.

Lucky for him, he wasn’t the only one.

“Mr. Morgenstern, I’d just like to ask you one specific question.”

He never thought Victor Aldertree would give him the key.

* * *

 

The sound blared right throughout the walls of the Institute – the alarm going off, red light flashing the announcement in the middle of the Ops Center.

Curious Shadowhunters all gathered like swarms towards the shrilling sound, wanting to be the first to see.

Isabelle was the first of the group, having been left behind, to see the horrifying words. With hands against her mouth, she stared at them in horror.

_“Magnus Bane. Wanted for Treason. Alive or Incapacitated.”_

 


	2. Fragility of Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is still trapped between the runes and slowly realizes what it truly means going against the Clave.

_What was going on?_

The Ops Center was in a state of chaos – everyone either rushing in to see what all the fuss was about or others, that were lucky enough to be the first ones, were already forming plans, hushing among themselves of how they were going to take down the High Warlock.

It was no secret that Magnus was one of the most powerful warlocks to be still alive. He wouldn't be as easy to take down as a regular demon, and that knowledge put the Shadowhunters in the Institute in a tight spot. They were expected to capture a warlock that most of them didn't have the skills to. 

Some, though, used the opportunity to gossip about one of the Lightwoods being involved with the said warlock and how they could not trust or be expected to follow orders from a traitor's lover. 

Isabelle could barely keep her temper at bay - disgusted by the shallowness of her fellow Shadowhunters. She only felt glad that Alec wasn't there to see it. 

As more people started to gather, Isabelle took it as an opportunity to sneak away into a corner where she took her phone out, ready to demand answers from Alec and others. Surely something had gone wrong while they were being questioned by Aldertree.

She already went as far as  _Alec, what‘s going o-_  on her screen when a sudden thought, stopped her from typing further.

There was one other person that should be contacted first.

Quickly erasing her message, she began typing again.

**TO MAGNUS:**

* * *

Surrounded by the company of not one, but two cats (a Persian and a mixed breed black and white coated cat), Magnus sat comfortably in his rather extravagant seventeenth century armchair. In the times like these – when he was explicitly feeling the sense of longing for his Shadowhunter - those soft feline creatures were his only sanctuary.

The persian one was a rather peculiar being – Magnus came to realize early on that the best way of taming it was to lull it into thinking it was the one dominating the Warlock and not the other way around. Suppose it was true for all the feline creatures out there but there was always an exception – the black and white coated cat more times than not would throw away its pride for an excellent back massage.

Magnus couldn‘t complain. He had a soft spot for them.  "Oh, aren‘t you a cute one?“ he conversed with the cat, a sweet smile  on his face as the animal poked its head into Magnus‘ palm, curving its neck in a silent demand for petting.

Magnus happily obliged their demands before his phone went off on the table by his right, the flashing light indicating a new message received. Before he could reach out for the phone, another beep announced the arrival of the second message, bringing concern to Magnus.

He couldn‘t get hold of Alexander the whole morning and he wondered if it had anything to do with that.

Opening up his phone, Magnus blinked a few times in wonder to find, without a doubt a message from a Lightwood, just not the one he was expecting. Isabelle‘s name flashed on the screen.

**INBOX: (2)**

**FROM ISABELLE:**  MAGNUS, STAY AWAY FROM THE INSTITUTE.

 **FROM ISABELLE** : CLAVE IS AFTER U.

Frowning at his phone, Magnus tried to make sense of the words. He pondered about going straight for the call, abandoning the whole  messaging thing but his thoughts were interrupted by the  _Typing..._ notice in the conversation screen. He decided to wait it out and let Isabelle do it her way first. Maybe there was a reason she couldn‘t have called. In their line of work, and considering the news she had just presented for him, that might very well be a real possibility.

Before long, a new message popped in.

 **FROM ISABELLE:**  SOMETHING WENT WRONG WITH ALDERTREE.

Magnus stared at the screen, with a crease in his forehead noticeably increasing by each passing second on the clock. Just before he and Alec separated after their initial reunion outside the Institute, following the horrific events that took place just the other day, Alexander had told Magnus of the likely questioning that Aldertree would probably be in charge of.

He just wasn‘t aware he would be the topic of it.

Though, now that he knew, the fire message that he had received from the Head of the Institute just a short while ago made a whole lot more sense now. He was skeptical about it from the very beginning. Despite the summons demanding his presence  immediately Magnus was neither naive nor strategically clueless enough to not understand that Clave was probably up to something more serious than his petty crime to the Shadowhunter named Raj. Adding together the fact of not being able to contact Alexander... speaking of, he quickly typed in a message.

 **YOU:**  IS ALEC OK?

Immediately the screen started flashing the  notice of someone _Typing..._

 **FROM ISABELLE:**  I DONT KNOW.

 **FROM ISABELLE:**  BUT DONT COME.

 **FROM ISABELLE:**  WILL TEXT U BACK.

A series of separate messages blinked into existence on Magnus‘ phone, a sheer warning in them. It would be a lie if he said he wasn‘t even more worried now and the itch to ignore the warnings and just go blazing into the Institute was planting its seed inside him, but he knew he couldn‘t disrespect Isabelle like that. She already had enough on her plate as it was - what with the whole fiasco with Raphael and Yin Fen finally coming to a close, she wasn‘t anywhere near back on her own two feet. So for her to make this effort in order to deliver the message to Magnus, he could only do his best to clench the force of his natural instincts and stay put in wait of further news, trusting Isabelle to keep an eye on Alexander for him.

He decided a simple message would suffice.

 **YOU:**  THANK YOU, ISABELLE.

There were no messages after that.

After a few seconds Magnus put the phone back on the small table by his side.

As if only now remembering, he turned around in search of the felines, but those too, were long since gone.

With a sigh, Magnus slumped back into his chair. He could feel it was only a beginning of yet another headache.

* * *

 

Silence.

It was all just so silent.

The trapping runes were one of the most simple, convenient and ruthless ways of dealing with prisoners. Those naive enough, jumped at the opportunity to be kept inside them instead of torture, but every Shadowhunter clever enough knew the cruelty of the false hope that those runes created for people.

It wasn‘t just that you were unable to get out of there from the inside – with stele or not – it was also the fact that it masked your very presence. Unless purposely searching, nobody would feel you out there, while passing by.

It was also completely isolated from any sounds. Before long, only the noise of your own breathing and pulse inside your ears could somehow reassure you of not having lost the ability to hear.

Time moved differently inside the trapping runes. Or rather, without any resources from the outside world, the natural body senses were dulled to a close minimum, being unable to really tell how much time had passed.

When Alec was still counting time, he managed to reach a whole of twenty minutes before giving up and slumping on the cold ground with his head leaned against the wall.

He didn‘t know how much time had passed...

Did anyone notice that he was missing?

Did Aldertree finish his questionings?

Did he already have a solid case on Magnus?

The latest thought plagued his mind like no other, digging its claws against his ribcage, scratching him from within.

He nearly had two panic attacks, which he managed to overcome only with the sheer determination to not fail Magnus completely, to not give up until he was sure there could be nothing else done.

Magnus was his only anchor.

He was also the reason of his most devastating thoughts.

 _A Shadowhunter could never be with a Downworlder,_  Aldertree‘s words kept ringing in his ears. And though he loathed to even think about it, he couldn‘t help wondering what if it was only the beginning? What if this was how it would always be from now on – first his own family, then the Soul Sword and now the Clave  _together_  with his family – what if they were bound to be hunted for their relationship for life? Never to be accepted. Never to be left at peace. Magnus never truly safe.  And if the Clave really had decided to go after Magnus, would Alec be enough to stop them? After all, he was only a single Shadowhunter against an army of elite Shadowhunter forces. How could he win against that?

_What if he wasn‘t enough?_

His love for Magnus was still such a fresh experience for him. He didn‘t want to awaken it only to have to lose it not even a whole day after.

If there was a way for them... if he could continue to love and be loved, he wanted to do everything in his power to fight for it. To give it a proper chance – to know and feel Magnus even more.

His heart beat wildly in his chest, his throat burning as tears once again started to sting his eyes. He tried to blink them away, furiously, while his hands stayed firmly on the ground, seeping in the cold to keep himself grounded.

He was feeling such an unbearable pain – a pain like that, he only felt once in his life, and that too, he felt today, a few hours ago while he was still desperately searching for Magnus in the aftermath of Valentine‘s attack.

He couldn‘t understand... _how could Jace not feel this?_ How could he not understand that something must be awfully wrong for Alec to feel this way? Why was he not looking for Alec? Was it... was it too late already? Did Magnus already come blazing into the Institute, unaware, only to get stabbed in the back with a Seraph blade that Aldertree held in his hand? Or worse, maybe it was not Aldertree himself but someone from Alec‘s team, someone he had known for years, someone he had trained and went on missions with – someone on his side... someone who now held his lover pierced through with his sword.

He couldn‘t do this.

He needed to get out of there.

His breathing had picked up pace as he wobbled to stand onto his feet, his hands helping him to keep stability.

"JACEEE!“ he yelled out in frustration, bending over with hands on his knees as his heart kept on dancing wildly in his chest, kept on throbbing in pain.

Where was everyone?

Why was nobody coming for him?

He needed to get to Magnus before...

He closed his eyes, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat, choking on air as he exhaled loudly.

He could feel sweat rolling down his temple... his vision was starting to swim, black dots forming-

When suddenly a loud bang echoed somewhere on his left side. Still with cloudy vision and bent over, Alec turned his head to take a look and nearly collapsed from happiness and relief.

It was Jace!

His parabatai had finally noticed that he was missing.

He leaned over, hands against his knees, gulping big amounts of air as he forced his breathing into a somewhat regular speed.

He had Jace.

He wasn‘t left alone.

He would help Alec.

Faintly and gradually he could hear the wall trembling from the other side – the stele burning a deactivating rune from the outside.

When the wall finally broke, Alec felt his legs give away only to be caught in his parabatai‘s strong arms, a series of apologies and reassurances whispered in his ear.

He took a moment to clutch onto Jace‘s shoulders, taking strength from him but didn‘t linger. Mustering all his strength, he slowly straightened up, with the help of Jace, and just patted him on the shoulder in thanks before going where he had to be since the beginning.

Magnus. He had to contact Magnus.

"Alec, what‘s going on here? Who did this to you? Was it Aldertree?“ Jace started questioning him, or maybe he had been for a while now just Alec didn‘t hear him before now, as his hearing only now started to come back to life.

He swallowed, before finding his voice, still shaky. "I... I need to find Magnus.“

He barely took a single step, Jace‘s mouth half open, ready to tell him something else when the blazing noise that had been echoing throughout the hallway finally registered into Alec‘s brain for what it was.

At first he thought it was the ringing of his ears, but now Alec could clearly understand what that sound meant – it was the  _alarm_.

Stopping dead in his tracks, his face losing the barely there as it was colour, he shook his head at the fact. "No...“

"Alec, you need to know something-" Jace started speaking again but was quickly shushed with a protesting hand.

He didn‘t need Jace to tell him anything.

For he already knew everything.

He was already too late.

Aldertree had administrated the case on Magnus.

He could feel Jace shifting on his feet from the side, until a hand came to rest on his shoulder that finally sprung Alec into action.

He needed to find Magnus NOW.

Before Jace could even protest, his legs had started to move on their own free will, sending him through the hallways, weaving through the loitering people who were rushing about, eager and curious to see what was all the commotion about, while Alec had only one thought in mind – find his phone and call Magnus.

He pushed force into his half-dead feet, willing himself to run faster and more than one time nearly colliding with a wall, leaving bruises in its wake as his hands kept protecting his unbalanced form.

With the last bit of effort, he finally reached the main hallway that contained his room.

Breathing heavily, he reached his hand towards the knob, turning it and pushing himself inside only to stop dead in his tracks at finding someone already inside his room.

Having his emotions so distorted, he felt rage quickly build up inside him as he watched none other than Raj rummaging through his things, his phone in hand.

"What.are.you.doing?“ he said through gritted teeth, making the other Shadowhunter jump back in surprise, his one hand shooting towards his heart. "Shit, it‘s you.“

With eyes narrowed impossibly thin, Alec stormed inside his room, stalking towards the other man. "What were you doing inside my room?“ he asked again, demanded, really. When the other Shadowhunter failed to answer, Alec used the opportunity to glance at his hand that still held the black object in its grip. "Is that my phone?“ he asked rhetorically and before Raj could even properly react, had the other Shadowhunter under his arms, pinned against the nearest wall in a choking grip.

Raj tried to hold his one hand in a mock surrender.

"Woah! Okay. Look, I don‘t know what kind of kinky stuff you and your Warlock boyfriend get into but this  _power play_  is really making me uncomfortable, man. If you two continue to keep assaulting me I‘ll have to report you back to the Clave-"

He was cut off by a more firm pressure against his windpipe, Alec‘s eyes shooting daggers at the sight of him. "Shut up and give my phone back to me.“

He tried protesting, he really did, and that would probably go into his mission report on why he had failed a beginner‘s class mission on stealing a phone, but Raj was beginning to think that the forces of those few specific Shadowhunters were not something he wanted to get so much mixed with. It was better for him to just steer away from them altogether.

"For the love of- Here, take it.“ He pushed the phone into Alec‘s waiting hand, rubbing at his sore throat when he was finally released. "I really can‘t deal with you two.“

As soon as Alec had his phone back with him, he glanced at the time and his face blanched.

_Three hours._

Three hours had passed since Alec left Aldertree‘s office and the last of the (3) missed calls from Magnus had been over two hours ago.

He could feel his heart starting to pick up speed again but he quickly shook himself out of it, closing his eyes to gather himself and got ready to press on the call button-

"You sure you want to do that?“

Raj‘s voice  worked like a bolting shock through his veins. He quickly spun around, and true enough, the guy still hadn‘t left.  _What was he still doing there?_  The face he had made must have really been one of a kind because at once Raj put his hands up in surrender, but not before commenting, "You do realize he‘s wanted for treason, right?“ he asked Alec rather casually and the blank look that slowly morphed into a pained one on Alec‘s face was an answer enough. "I guess you didn‘t,“ Raj added and then hesitated before giving Alec a quick pat on the back and leaving the room. "Well, hang in there.“

The hand that still held Alec‘s phone, fell down by his side.

_Treason..._

He knew it wasn‘t the sentence that scared him off, though, that too was highly concerning, no, it was the fact what it meant for Alec. Alec, who was a Shadowhunter, who‘s job, his _duty_  was to follow orders, which now were to capture a criminal, who was Alec‘s lover and whom he could not contact unless he wanted to be deruned...

The very thought of losing his abilities as a Shadowhunter scared him to the deepest bits of his core. Because he knew that without his abilities, without his powers – he‘d be useless. He‘d be a mundane that could not do a damn thing. He‘d be someone who could not protect anyone. Magnus included.

But if he didn‘t call, didn‘t warn Magnus, it would be only a matter of time before the Warlock would come blazing into the Institute only to be cuffed and lead to prison while Alec watched from the sidelines, or worse, by Alec‘s hand itself.

He closed his eyes while his hand gripped onto the phone tightly.

_What should he do?_

He couldn‘t _not_  contact Magnus but also could not _contact_  Magnus.

He hated the power that Aldertree had over him, over all of them.

He had been right. He was useless. And he could never be enough for Magnus. First day since they had confessed their mutual feelings for each other and he was already failing him, unable to balance between his work and love.

If only he was stronger...

If only he had thought faster...

If only he had realized it had been a trap...

Breathe... breathe... continue breathing... he needed to continue breathing...

He shook his head as thoughts of Magnus‘ disappointed face continued to surface into Alec‘s mind.

He was never going to be enough for Magnus...

He wasn‘t-

There was a knock on the door so abrupt that Alec nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound. Breathing heavily he watched how the doors slowly opened up until the dark head of his sister peeked out of it. Watching over her shoulder, she sneakily got inside his room, closing the doors behind herself and startled at the look on Alec‘s face.

"Izzy...“ Alec started in a chocked whisper. "I need to call Magnus.“

The face of certainty on his sister‘s face, came as a shock to him. "No, you can‘t.“

"Izzy, I- I have to,“ he said through a series of deep breaths that he was taking in.

He thought if anyone, it was her that would understand him.

"Iz, it‘s  _Magnus_ -" he started but was quickly shushed by a soft hand on his shoulder, gripping him tight.

"Alec, it‘s all right. I get it.“ She spoke with such conviction that Alec was lead to believe her. And he did, when he heard what she said next. "I already texted Magnus.“

A wave of intense relief filled his insides, while he had to shake his head a few times to be sure of what he had heard. "You did? When?“

Izzy smiled at him with an understanding only her smile could offer him. "As soon as the order was announced. I figured there was no telling if Aldertree won‘t ban communication later on.“

Alec nodded, the blood slowly receding from his head. "And your phone?“ he asked, because contacting Magnus was one thing, but if Izzy got caught, it‘d be all for nothing. When she didn‘t answer at once, his worries only increased and he asked her again, more firmly. "Izzy, what about your phone? If Aldertree sees-"

She shook her head. "Already disposed of. And-"

There was a moment where her hand dove quickly in her cleavage and Alec‘s eyes nearly bulged out of his head, turning away at the sudden awkwardness that Izzy was proposing, but he had too much trust in his sister to not realize she must have hid something... _there._

He didn‘t know if he wanted to know what.

When he saw what it was, he knew that he did. Very much so.

A prepaid phone was thrust into his waiting hand and Alec didn‘t know if there was ever a gift more thought out and more meaningful than this. "Here, in case you want to call Magnus,“ she told him with a teasing grin, while Alec‘s love for his sister swelled inside his heart.

"How...  how did you get this?“ he asked, still a little thrown off and breathless. His hand kept turning the device from side to side, searching for ways it could have been already compromised by Aldertree.

He found none.

"Oh, it‘s one of the last few that‘s left of my secret communicators with Meliorn.“

And then he was certain that he should never doubt his sister‘s abilities of getting the information in stealthy ways. Apparently she knew what she was doing way better than Alec. And that was the only reason he still had some hope in making things right with Magnus before Aldertree could potentially ruin everything.

With two hurried, small steps, he reached his sister in a tight embrace, holding her tightly to his heart and whispering words of  _gratitude_  and _love_. He truly wouldn‘t know what he would do without her.

When the two separated, Izzy‘s smiling face shone brighter to him than ever, only the residues of dark shadows under her eyes held as a reminder of things and words that were said between them. "Iz, about all that‘s happened...“

"I know,“ she agreed with a small smile. "But, Alec, we can talk about this later. Magnus  _needs_  you right now.“

He still tried protesting, not wanting to leave his sister yet again to deal with everything that happened to her and he wished with every fiber of his being to be there for her, as her brother, but Izzy continued to urge him to just get a move on and finally call Magnus, reasoning that his case was more important than the residues of her addiction.

The trembling that still tormented Alec‘s body, worked as yet another argument in her favor and finally Alec had to give in, not being able to dwell much longer on not contacting Magnus.

They decided the safest way was if one of them kept watch outside, and Isabelle quickly situated herself just outside Alec‘s bedroom while giving him some privacy to talk with Magnus.

It took a few rings for someone to finally pick up on the other side.

He heard breathing and before he could filter his mouth, he blurted out a breathless  _Magnus_ in the phone.

There was some shifting on the other end and then a relieved sigh _. "Alec? Are you okay?“_

Hearing Magnus‘ voice after the cruelty of thoughts that he had, was like a balm on his sore wounds. It soothed him and made him want to leap from joy.

"Oh thank God,“ he breathed out, taking a big gulp of air. "Magnus, the Clave...they‘re uh...  after you. We got tricked by Aldertree. The questioning it- it was a trap- Magnus, you have to put your wards up and don‘t come to the Institute-"

By the time he was done his voice was near non existent, hands shaking so much that his phone nearly slipped from his hand a few times and only the sheer will of staying in contact with Magnus helped him to keep enough of a grip on the device. In the time that Alec had started freaking out, Magnus voice had shifted to one of soothing and reassuring promises, while Alec cursed himself for his inability to keep himself together. Magnus was the one who needed reassurances here. Magnus was the one who was just a breath away from getting caught by the Clave. Instead, he still continued to talk Alec out of his panic, keeping him grounded.

_"Okay, okay, Alec, slow down. Breathe. Are you with me?“_

He swallowed one time, two,  and then replied. "Yeah, I, uh... yeah.“

"Good, now tell me everything from the beginning.“

After briefing Magnus on the situation, Alec had finally felt himself relax a little. He checked with Isabelle if there was any movement from her side but after getting a negative, he breathed out in relief and settled leaning on the wall with his phone by his ear, Magnus on the other end.

He wasn‘t sure how long they still had or how long it would take for another chance like this so he was taking everything he could with this one chance.

There had been one thing, though, that he was rather reluctant to discuss with Magnus.

But he knew it had to be done.

"I think.... I think my mother is behind this.“

There was a moment of silence from the other end and then a soft reply _. "Are you sure?“_

Alec shrugged, not that Magnus would know. "I don‘t know. Probably.“

_"Mm. I take it Maryse didn‘t enjoy my party all that much then.“_

"Magnus...“

_"I mean, with all the Warlock drama – getting spelled must have been the last straw for her.“_

The ironic way in which Magnus continued to speak finally forced Alec to stop him. "Magnus, this is serious.“

A heavy sigh echoed through the phone. " _I_ know _it‘s serious, Alexander. I‘m just trying to steer away my thoughts from the miserable fact that my boyfriend‘s mother wants me dead.“_

Something twisted inside Alec, which he later recognized as  _guilt_.

Talk about having a messed up family... his would win awards any day.

"I‘m sorry...“ he whispered in a small voice, feeling so awfully  _sorry_ and  _responsible_  for everything that had been going on with Magnus. If he hadn‘t met Alec, he could be enjoying his life as an immortal right now, and not turning his head over his shoulder on every corner, fearing for his  _immortal_  life.

Sometimes Alec really,  _truly_  couldn‘t understand how could he be worth something more than a spare glance from Magnus? How could he be worth continuing to risk his life for?

His heart continued to throb painfully inside his chest.

The resonating sigh that came from the other end, only told Alec that Magnus was already aware of everything that went inside Alec‘s head in the past few minutes, including him blaming it all on himself and now he was ready to reassure Alec, once again, that he was worth it.

Which Alec highly doubted he was.

But such was the love of Magnus Bane.

 _"You have nothing to be sorry for, Alec. Your mother is not even the main villain here_.“

Alec scoffed. Because _he_  - was one thing, but going as far as defending his psycho mother was just taking it too far. "How can you be defending her right now?“ he asked incredulously.

 _"I‘m_ not  _defending her, but Maryse is not the problem here. She‘s but a pawn in the Clave‘s game. The Clave is the main problem.“_

The Clave... it was more than just a problem.

_It now held the key to life._

With a sigh, Alec replied, "Okay, so what‘re we going to do?“

 

* * *

  **_to be continued..._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for you support, everyone. *sending the bear hugs*
> 
> Feedback feeds my inspiration, honestly!


	3. The Power of Yearning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec misses Magnus. Aldertree is being an ass. And everything's really starting to be a bit too much for Alec to handle.

Long, slender fingers slid along the lines of  the bow in Alec‘s possession.

He took his time to brush the cleaning cloth against the back of the bow – starting from the upper limb, feeling how it arched against his practiced fingers and going down towards the lower limb, only to come back to the top, checking on the nock that held the string in place. After finding it secure enough, he ran his fingers down the length of the string, feeling its elasticity and the power of resistance when he tried to pull on it.

There was something soothing about losing yourself in the caring of your own weapon. The bow – it was a part of Alec. Similarly, in a different way, it was close to how Jace was a part of him. He couldn‘t feel safe or at ease without keeping both of them close to himself.

He wished love was that easy.

Love was... complicated, as Alec had began to learn from his little by little growing experience in the relationships department. Even though he could stay the whole day glossing his fingers against his weapon to know it was there or draw in strength from their shared parabatai bond with Jace – he could not do the same with Magnus.

Magnus was... quite frankly, unreachable for Alec.

Ever since their last phone call, Alec was not able to make similar attempts on contacting his lover, no matter how strong of a desire he might have had.

Aldertree had put an ultimatum on Alec. In the early hours of the day, the group of Shadowhunters present in the Institute had been summoned for yet another meeting, in which it was announced rather clearly how Alec was prohibited from getting involved further and gaining any intel on the  _Magnus Bane case_ , outside forces included, because of his close  _personal connection_  with the High Warlock.

The group had been furious, of course. Izzy was the first one to protest, Clary scoffed at the man, questioning Aldertree‘s choice of words about other Shadowhunters having to be prepared to use force when hunting Magnus in consideration of his  _nature_. Simon tried to put some light into the situation by accusing the Head of being not a big fan of  _cat lovers_ , getting an eye roll from Jace. And Alec...

Alec could only feel his world closing in on him.

He thought it was bad enough to be on alert with using your phone, but now, losing the ability to have any intel on the case, losing his right to even share ideas about the case, officially, he was starting to wonder if he could even be considered a Shadowhunter any more.

His...  _job_ , career path of a Shadowhunter was supposed to be one of protector, one of obedience of the rules that were administered by his higher authority, the Clave. His heart, though, was a driving force that usually just made him fight stronger, made him do better, care more, even if emotions were supposed to be only a distraction in his path.

Now he felt like he had lost the rights to both of them.

Without orders – he was no Shadowhunter.

What he was doing, or better to say,  _not doing_  for Magnus, clearly it was his failure as a lover as well.

A heavy sigh, coming from deep inside, escaped his half-parted lips, eyes closing shut.

He knew what Aldertree was trying to do. He was trying to break Alec. He was trying to prove a point, desperately, that Shadowhunters and Downworlders don‘t mix together. Because of his own personal past he thought he could use Alec as a model for everyone to see. Alec, who once was the best example of an emotion-free soldier, an exemplary representative of the Clave in-training. He wanted others to see how low a Shadowhunter that went astray could go.

Ever since they met Clary, their lives were never the same from that point on. At first he, admittedly, pushed all the blame on the redhead for ruining the natural order of their lives, but now he knew better. The moment he met Magnus Bane, he was already down the path of a life different than his parents had ever envisioned for him.

The journey they had survived, the paths they had taken... it was impossible to think one could actually be expected to come back from all that, unaffected, unchanged... back to the ways of a  _proper_  Shadowhunter that the Clave wanted.

He had his duty as a Shadowhunter, but his heart had an even bigger duty to himself.

Magnus was  _it_  for Alec. He was the ending choice of all things to come. Having to be separated from him for days was already painful enough. He didn‘t know how much longer he could do that. How much longer he could bear the feeling of longing that was lashing out at him from within.

At one point he almost literally ran out in the hallway, ready to burst into Aldertree‘s office with demands of surrender, because he would not be the one surrendering between the two of them, but got stopped at the last second by Izzy. She had reasoned that it was unwise to go after Aldertree without a plan, because if anything, he would probably lose more now than gain later. He hated for her being right. With every last Shadowhunter in the Institute being constantly on his lookout, waiting like hawks for him to take one wrong step, make a wrong move – he surely had little to no chance at challenging Aldertree and leaving unscathed.

So he took his refuge in the weapon‘s room. He hoped it would help to keep him grounded, maybe even create an illusion of him having calmed down and others would finally leave him alone.

He wished. But the faint, and increasingly growing voices that were going straight for him, proved him wrong once again.

“Hey,“ one greeted him from the side. Alec just pretended he didn‘t hear the man. It was better that way. He knew what was coming next and he didn‘t want to get involved.

“I‘m leaving my weapon out here. You‘re going to clean it nice and shiny, right?“ he asked, waiting as if expecting an actual answer from Alec. When he got none (Alec making no effort to detach himself from his bow that he started to wipe clean from the upper limb once again), the random Shadowhunter huffed from the side, clicking his tongue against his teeth.

“Look, man. Aldertree has ordered you to clean  _weapons_ , as in plural, not your bow alone. So you see that bunch over th-”

Alec turned towards the group of sheep that were trying to play lions and without making actual eye contact with them, held up his bow in plain view for them to see – “My bow,“ he said and then reached over the table to pick up the blade – “My Seraph blade  - weapons.“

The silence that followed only showed how little they knew about leadership and making decisions on the spot. Their little argument may have sounded reasonable in their heads, but they were nowhere near prepared for a full-on fight. Not that Alec had any patience or strength to actually spare more of his time for the likes of them. He moved to put the Seraph blade back on the table and brought another, clean cloth to swipe at the micro dust along his bow‘s body. “If that‘s all, you‘re disturbing my work.“

He could hear shifting of the feet against the floor and turned to look at them, giving them a deadly serious look just before they left. “Instead of taking the Institute for a gossip circus, shouldn‘t you go back to practicing your archery skills, Mr. Out of Range?“

The group quickly made themselves scarce after that.

Alec nearly felt pity for them. He knew he wasn‘t the best company for others when he was in a bad mood and  _bad mood_  didn‘t do justice to what he was feeling right now. He was literally on the verge of snapping. One wrong move and the volcano that was being held at bay by Alec would erupt in explosions nobody would ever forget.

He practiced a few deep breaths as the raging emotions inside him started to swirl again.

He reached out for his bow again, gripping at it tightly for internal support, staying like that for a while when he suddenly felt a series of faint tremors inside his jacket‘s pocket.

He froze with his bow in hand, a single thought in his mind.  _Magnus._  Magnus was contacting him through their privately shared phone, which Alec held in his jacket‘s inner pocket, away from the public eye.

He ran his tongue against his lips, closing his eyes to gather strength from all the Angels out there  as the vibrations continued  just right by his heart. Magnus was calling him, probably wanting to know what Alec had learned about the whole situation and Alec just couldn‘t bring himself to answer.

He couldn‘t even begin to try to explain to Magnus what had become of him. How  _useless_  he had really become. Forget about secret meetings when the Shadowhunter would go on a mission outside the Institute, Aldertree would not be letting Alec out of his sight until he got hold of Magnus. And if Alec somehow held hope in assisting for that to  _not_  happen, he could forget about it now also, because the Head had banned him from any kind of information regarding the  _Magnus Bane case_ , hell, he wasn‘t even allowed to be in the same room as most of the Shadowhunters with the access to the database.

The tremors had increased in his body and it took him a while to realize that it was not only the phone that was trembling now but also his own hands – palms covered with sweat and it was beginning to be hard to keep hold of his bow. He put it down before it could loudly clatter on the floor.

He brought his hands against his forehead, breathing in air in an attempt to bring his shaking body to a stop.

The moment the tremors inside his pocket stopped, Alec‘s heart nearly broke in two.  _He had missed a call._  Purposely. One thing he had promised to never do again – to not shut Magnus out when things got crazy. Well, this  _was_  crazy, this was  _insane_  and still, even after everything was being done and said, he still couldn‘t pick up the call. 

Magnus‘ disappointment flashed more brightly than anything else inside Alec‘s mind.

And he knew he couldn‘t do a damn thing about it.

So he ran.

He hid.

And brought all his frustration and hurt in beating the hell out of the punching bag inside the training room. He hit and hit it until his knuckles felt sore and got bruised in red, hoping against hope it would somehow bring a solution to his helpless situation.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

Aldertree had shut him off from everything that he had ever known.  _Everything._  He left Alec powerless, miserable and angry. So damn furious that he never knew he could actually be.

He imagined the face of the Head as he continued to punch the boxing bag and it only mildly made him feel better.

He could feel cold sweat running down his neck, going down his front and back, making his shirt cling tightly to his body.

He had long since discarded his jacket, knowing it was useless to carry it around if only as a reminder of things he could not have.

Once again. Once again the Clave had made his life into something he could not live freely in. Once again it stomped on his desires and put a big announcement it all being  _in the name of justice._

Well, screw it. Screw them all. Screw their rules and this miserable way of living your life. If he was expected to continue to obey this...

He put his head against the bag, leaning in.

He knew he couldn‘t act harshly. He knew he would be putting not only himself but also Magnus in danger if he acted without thinking, blazing in, weapons shooting. But how was he supposed to stay put, when his instincts were screaming for him to  _start moving_?

There was a loud clearing of the throat by his side.

He glanced to his right and rolled his eyes at the sight. Raj. He clearly must have nothing better to do than annoy the hell out of Alec. Still leaning against the punching bag, tapping his fingers against the object, Alec gave the other Shadowhunter a pointed look.

“Aldertree has summoned you,“ Raj announced.

His heart skipped a beat. For a moment all kinds of disturbing thoughts flashed inside his head, wondering if Aldertree somehow got hold of Magnus‘ vital information and now summoned Alec to gloat about it. In a moment of panic, Alec swiftly glanced towards the bench in the search of his jacket, worried about the possibility of the Head finding out about the secret phone, but no, it was where it always were, safe. Alec felt his shoulders sag in relief.

“You okay, man?“ Raj asked from the sidelines, bringing Alec back to focus. He quickly masked his face back to neutrality.

“Fine. You can go now,“ he dismissed the man and pushed himself away from the bag, ready to give it another series of hits before being stopped, once again, by Raj.

He exhaled in frustration. The man was really trying out his patience.

“You have to go with me. I was appointed to look after you.”

“What,” Alec said. It was not a question.

“Look, man. I don’t like this any more than you do but orders are orders. So you gotta cooperate here.”

His fingers gripped tightly against the surface of the punching bag.

Aldertree.

The man was hell bent on trying to find ways in which he could take control of Alec. And apparently Raj was one of them.

He refused to give him, Raj, or anyone else for that matter the satisfaction of seeing him crumble, so he took a hold of his discarded jacket by the bench and went in the direction that was Aldertree’s  office, Raj hurrying _behind_  him.

* * *

 

Behind the walls of his office, Aldertree was sitting by his table, a portable computer in hand, watching the screen with great fascination.

The Shadowhunter that brought the material for the Head, was shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, waiting for further orders to come.

“Is this everything?” the dark skinned man asked, while not taking his eyes away from the screen.

“Y-yes, sir.”

“Hmm. I want all the records from there brought to me, and me only. This can never reach the official database until I say so. Do I make myself clear?” He turned to look at the guy, a chill passing down his spine at the look from the Head. He hurriedly nodded at him.

“Yes, sir!”

And was quickly shooed away.

It was about ten minutes later, when there was a knock on the door and Aldertree asked Alec Lightwood inside his office.

* * *

 

“Alec, please, sit,” Aldertree had offered him with a wave of a hand, a friendly smile on his face.

Alec just brushed him off. “I’ll be fine standing.  What do you want?”

There was a deep sigh that came out of the Head but it seemed to at least remove the fake friendliness out of his voice. It was back to all-business like.  “I wanted to talk with you about my decision on Magnus Bane.”

“Unless you revoke the order, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“You seem to be misunderstanding me. I’m not your enemy, Alec.”

“Really,” Alec deadpanned. This guy must be joking.

“I only want what’s best for our people – for justice to be served,” he had continued on in a voice like he truly believed the crap that was coming out of his mouth.

Alec had to bring out his inner strength to keep himself in check. He shook his head at the man. “You call this justice? Falsely accusing Magnus of crimes that he did not commit?”

“You can’t be sure that he’s really innocent in this, Alec,” the man spoke with pity in his voice.  It only infuriated Alec more.

“I can and I am,” Alec pointed out with conviction. “I know Magnus.”

The Head shook his head at Alec and came to sit against the corner of his table, hands crossed. A faraway look crossed his features. “You may think that you know him but you can’t just blindly believe in the words of a Downworlder.”

“I thought you‘d understand Downwolders,“ Alec said to him instead. “With you having a past with one and all.“

“And you know how it all ended. Downworlders are slaves to their impulses, Alec.  We’re different from them.”

Finally seeing where it was going, Alec stood up a little bit straighter, bringing his own hands against his chest in defense. “Is that what this is then? It didn‘t work out for you so you want everyone else to feel the same misery that you felt?“ he asked and when he saw a slight hesitation in Aldertree‘s expression, he was starting to think his deduction had been right. He nodded in his silent understanding, before looking back towards the Head. “Well, guess what? It won‘t work. I won‘t  _leave_  Magnus,“ he said, taking a step closer to the man.

“Then you‘d be considered an accomplice of a traitor.“

Leaning in, he whispered to Aldertree. “Magnus is not the one who‘s a traitor here.“

With those words, Alec turned around and slammed the door as he went.

* * *

 

Shaking. His whole body was shaking from the sheer adrenaline that he had experienced in the room with Aldertree but after a long while it was a good kind of high. He was still filled with so many doubts and worries but after a long while he was starting to finally feel the glimpse of hope in the situation. If there truly was something that he could use against Aldertree, then he was not so hopeless after all.

The Clave might be after Magnus. But Aldertree was after Alec. If Alec could bring down Aldertree, then he could find a way to help Magnus out as well.

With a renewed sense of determination, Alec rounded the corner of the hallway, thinking about finding Izzy and gathering the gang for a secret meeting, only to nearly collide with his mother, of all people.

He could quickly feel how his mood started to darken.

“Alec, what‘re you doing?“ she asked, a fake smile on her face as she glanced around their shoulders to check if anybody was looking. When finding nobody, she looked back at her son, half-whispering to him. “Tell me I didn‘t just hear you tell the Head of the Institute that you‘re going to side with the traitor.“

Alec scoffed. He couldn‘t believe that for one second he had thought he could expect anything else from Maryse. “Would you just cut it out? Magnus is not the traitor here!“

“In the eyes of the Clave - he is,“ she spoke through gritted teeth.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Alec asked. “And who‘s fault is that?“

“Alec, you don‘t know what you‘re talking about.“

“Yes, I do,“ Alec said, pointing his finger at her. “You‘re the one who did this.“

“I did what I had to do to protect Jace. Your  _brother_.“

“No,“ Alec said. “You did what was easy for you. Putting the blame onto someone else.“

“He would‘ve been imprisoned for activating the Soul Sword. Do you want your brother deruned?“ she whispered to him, a motherly expression filling her face.

It wasn‘t convincing enough for Alec.

“We could‘ve convinced the Clave to not go through with it. Now you put false charges on someone who has done nothing but help us all. Someone that I  _care_ about.“

Exasperated she continued. “He‘s a High Warlock. I‘m sure he can find his way out of this.“

“Well, thanks to you, he can‘t. Because every single good deed that he did is now considered a part of the master plan between him and Valentine. You made it impossible for him to get out of this. So whatever I might do from now on – it‘s on you.“

* * *

 

It was harder than he expected to gather everyone without anyone they  _didn’t want to know_  knowing. They had to plan their timings to get to the promised place from different entrances but after what seemed like half a day, they finally all were gathered inside the lower level of the Institute.

“…That’s the basic plan. Did everyone get that?” Alec asked everyone  that surrounded the table. That included Alec, Jace, Isabelle, Clary and Simon.

Everyone was taking in the information better than he had originally thought. They were literally breaking laws there by just  _talking_  with Alec, not to mention planning secret strategies against the Clave. It was too much to ask. It was _impossible_  to ask. But it seemed he didn’t even have to really ask before everyone at once agreed to be in on the plan, to help Magnus out anyway they could.

After everything that his mother had done, he thought he was losing the sense of what having a family really meant, but now, surrounded by this bunch of  _kids,_  really (as he was the oldest out of everyone present), he started once again to believe in the word and its meaning.

Family.

His was a strange one, indeed.

Clary observed the map that was laying on the table, putting the final touches to it, then clapping her hands with a nod of her head. “Okay, we should probably also have a backup plan in case Magnus gets brought to the Institute.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Alec was the first one to protest. “That’s not an option,” he said sharply, his voice resonating inside the room. The group exchanged a series of glances among each other and Clary was the first to break the silence.

“Alec, I know you don’t want to hear it but-“ she had started but Alec didn’t let her continue. “I don’t, so stop.”

With a shake of a head, Jace then joined in. “Alec, Clary is right-“

The bang against the table that echoed throughout the room had successfully shut everyone up. Alec could feel his knuckles start to sting from the impact, and he bit onto his lower lip, cursing himself for losing his temper, but he just couldn’t continue this type of talk. Bringing Magnus to the Institute meant them failing. And failing they could not afford to do.

He took a deep breath, exhaling it.

“Everyone, just… concentrate, okay? Please,  just…” he faltered, feeling his insides twist before forcing himself to let the words out. “I need your help on this.”

After Alec’s outburst, everything went mostly smoothly, though, everyone were a little bit more cautious around him, not daring to bring up the  _taboo topic_  again.

It was no surprise to hear Clary questioning Clave’s choices. She was, after all, very new to the whole Shadowhunter business. Alec had to remind her that it was Aldertree that they wanted first. Since he was the one being a direct obstacle to Alec now.

“Any word from Lydia yet?”  he asked his sister, because apparently they, without his knowledge, put her in on this also. It was not like he didn’t trust Lydia, he just didn’t want to bring an already hurt person into something like this. She was still supposedly recovering from the Demon attack.

“No. Her hands are mostly tied. Ever since Aldertree took hold of the Institute her authority in the eyes of the Clave has diminished a lot.”

“Great.” Alec nodded, not really feeling all that greatness of the situation. “Well,  just continue keeping in touch with her.”

He then asked Clary to be in charge of bringing the Werewolves on their side and Jace on the Seelies duty (he huffed a little but for the sake of his parabatai, finally relented). Until it was the vampire’s turn…

“What about me? What can I do?“ Simon had asked eagerly, excitement clear in both his voice and body.

“You can contact Raphael. We need his clan on our side if we‘re going to fight the Clave.“

“Are you freaking serious?“ the vampire burst out, rather suddenly, gaining a frown from Alec. “Can I- for once, can I just _not_  be the  in-between guy? Just for once?“ he pleaded with his eyes wide open. “Am I asking too much? Because, seriously, that guy hates me and he absolutely terrifies me. You don‘t know what it‘s like to be under that constant gaze like he knows every dark secret that‘s inside you and he‘s going to  _use_  it. Just for the sake of it.“

“You asked how you could be useful,“ Alec reminded him.

“And I want to. I really, _really_  want to but it‘s just that Raphael-”

Alec was already shaking his head at the vampire, brushing him off as useless when Isabelle announced that she would do it. That she would contact  _Raphael_ herself.

“Absolutely not,“ Alec said with finality in his words. “You‘re not going anywhere near him ever again.“

“Alec. I can take care of myself,“ Izzy said, her stubborn side starting to show.

“Clearly you can‘t.“

“I‘m not fighting you on this, Alec,“ Isabelle told him, hands crossing against her chest to show her determination on the topic. Alec was ready to ask her to stop her involvement with the case altogether if she continued to be so stubborn when Simon cut in between the two fighting siblings, hands held in a mock surrender.

“Whoa, guys, guys, calm down.“ He made a show of bodily pushing the two apart. Alec wasn‘t impressed. Simon pretended he didn‘t notice the dark look. “It‘s all right, guys,  I‘ll do it, just... don‘t fight each other, okay? We‘re all still on the same side, right? Fighting the Big Bad?“ He put his fists in front of him, imitating a few punching moves, which hurt Alec‘s eyes to witness, but it managed to calm the rage inside them both.

“Simon is right,“ Jace suddenly said from the sidelines. “There‘s nothing to fight about. Simon can handle it.“

The words seemed to surprise the vampire, as a big bright grin spread across his face. “Wow, thanks for the confidence vote, man. I didn‘t know you had it in you,“ he said cheerfully and punched Jace in the forearm lightly.

Jace shot him a look. “Don‘t push your luck.“

“Wouldn‘t dream of it.“

With Simon‘s retreating form from Jace and Alec‘s roll of the eyes, the meeting had finally concluded. “All right. We‘ll go with this strategy then.“

It was a surprise to feel so much support coming from strangers, but Alec had slowly learned to accept it. The sudden hugging session took him by surprise, making him _very_  uncomfortable in his own skin, as he was not used to this kind of close contact with other people, except for... Magnus. But that was another level of touching and feelings and these were nowhere near anything he was feeling for the people present, so the shuddering that took hold of his body, was anything but pleasant.

There was one thing he had to make clear, though.

Just as they started to go for the doors, Alec called out for them, taking their attention.

“Hold on. I just wanted to... thank everyone,“ Alec said, desperately trying to not make actual eye contact with everyone who‘s eyes suddenly were all on Alec. “ I, uh, realize that you helping me, going against the law... it‘s a lot to ask. So I, uh... I meant to thank everyone,“ he breathed out feeling his body shaking a little. But he had to do this. He was learning social skills. And this was part of them. Knowing when to be grateful. He swallowed the lump in his throat, finally glancing at the gang.

 “I‘m very grateful for you helping me and I know that I sometimes can be a bit... too much, I guess, but I‘m uh, just really... really worried about Magnus. So, I‘m sorry. For everything.“ He shrugged, his fingers itching to hold onto something.

He didn‘t know acceptance could feel as comforting. He wasn‘t sure  _what_  he was expecting to really happen after his heartfelt confession but when he was met with eyes of understanding and affection, he felt a lot more powerful and hopeful for things to come.

“We‘re going to figure this out, Alec. Magnus is going to be okay,“ Izzy had said and Alec decided believing her would actually be possible. He met her in a tight hug and let her go out of the room first, then Jace and Simon. Lastly it was Clary whom he had stopped at the last second by a tug on her hand. She glanced from the hand that was holding hers to his eyes.

“Clary, hey. I, uh... can I ask you something?“

“Sure,“ she replied with a smile.

He opened his mouth but only a sigh came out first. “It‘s more of a favour.“

Twisting from his grip, she turned to Alec, an open look on her face. “Of course, Alec. Anything.“

Nodding, Alec continued. “It‘s...  Jace he‘s um...he‘s going to need someone  to be there for him. And with everything that‘s been going on with Izzy and now Magnus...“ He gestured, looking to the side as he spoke. “I just don‘t know how to...“ he trailed off, then cleared his throat. “Look, I‘ve already nearly lost one of my siblings. I can‘t make the same mistake again.“

Clary took a hold of his arm, giving it a small squeeze. “Of course. I‘ll be there for Jace. I mean, he‘s my brother too. We‘re family. That‘s what family is for,“ she assured him while Alec could only hear Jace‘s words ring in his ear.

_Clary never was his sister._

“Right,“ he said, keeping his face straight.

“What did I say? What‘s wrong?“ she asked him, as soon as she noticed something was wrong. Alec quickly shook himself out of it. It was not his place to get involved in it. If Jace didn‘t want to tell her anything right now, it was his choice to make. Not Alec‘s. Alec was already in debt so much to everyone.

He hoped the smile he had mustered was reassuring to Clary enough.

“No, it‘s, uh, nothing.“

* * *

 

He was thinking about calling Magnus.

He knew it was risky, and he would have to be very very cautious about it but with everything that took place today, he was starting to think there were at least some positive news he could finally share with the Warlock.

Also, he was missing him horribly.

He could feel the ghost touch of his phone inside his jacket, it bumping against his rib cage as he continued to increase the speed in his steps while walking down the hallways. He could feel the excitement building up inside him. The thought of finally getting to hear Magnus‘ voice again, was making him unable to contain the growing smile on his face.

He would get to hear Magnus.

He bit his lip to somehow hide the grin from the outsiders, but with each step as he was getting closer to the premises of his own room, he could barely contain his excitement.

He rounded the last corner and saw the dark head of his sister. He was just about to call out to her when he saw her hand gripping onto the wall before she was slipping and slipping, slipping towards the ground and Alec‘s feet sent him towards her just in time to catch her before she could fall down on the cold ground.

“Izzy!“ he called out to her, voice laced in worry.

She was out cold in Alec‘s arms.

* * *

 

Sitting by Izzy‘s bed, watching her pale skin, cowered in sweat, Alec could barely contain his rage. Getting caught up with all the planning for Magnus, he let himself forget, for a second, that his sister was still fighting the war with the addictive drug that Aldertree had put her in the path of.

Aldertree was behind it all.

Ever since he came to the Institute, his first job was to execute Jace, his parabatai, then he got his baby sister involved with addictions no Shadowhunter should ever be part of and now he was trying to split him and Magnus apart, by bringing unreasonable charges against the Warlock.

All these things, all these things that were Aldertree‘s doing... everything he did to his  _family_... While holding his sister‘s trembling hand in both of his, Alec could only have one thought in mind – Aldertree must be stopped. By any means.

He stood up from his chair and leaned in to peck Izzy on the forehead, brushing some hair out of her eyes as sweat got them tangled together.

He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and quietly leaving the room.

Jace was waiting outside. Worried look on his face.

“Alec, what-”

Alec shook his head at him. “I just can‘t- I need to be away to think.“

* * *

 

He found himself once again back at the training room, just this time a bow in hand.

It was hard, at first, to get his hands to remain steady enough for him to shoot, but after imagining his single target, he could shoot nothing but bulls‘ eyes.

The rage he was feeling was blinding. It was ever consuming and he realized that he once again would not be calling Magnus.

He simply couldn‘t face, or  _hear_ , the man in his current state of mind. He would rather bring an arrow to his target than cry on Magnus‘ shoulder how he couldn‘t handle all the pressure anymore while Magnus was the one with an axe over his neck.

But the more he thought about  _not_ contacting Magnus, the more he _yearned_  for it.

The more he thought of himself as a soldier he should be, the more he just wanted to curl beside Magnus in the warm sheets and keep embracing him until his own scent mixed together with the Warlock‘s and his heart and mind could not think about anything else but  _him._

He wished he could just summon Magnus out of thin air, but also felt glad that he couldn‘t.

Magnus in the Institute was a situation he hoped to avoid by any means possible.

The only way Alec could protect Magnus for now was by keeping him out of here.

Even if that meant leaving Alec longing for him without a break.

He closed his eyes as his arrow missed the target.

It was that moment when he heard something moving down the hallway. He called out for them. He‘d rather them showing themselves if they wanted anything from him than hide in the corners and then talk behind his back.

When nobody answered and just hurried down the hallway with small, silent steps, Alec, having had about enough, put his bow down on the bench and went towards the noise.

At the first hallway, he saw nothing.

Then he rounded the corner and nearly felt his heart stop beating from the sight ahead.

Because it couldn‘t be. It was simply impossible. It had to be because in no way was it possible that Magnus Bane was standing inside the hallway, only but a couple of meters away from Alec.

With eyes wide open and mouth slightly agape, Alec just continued to stand there like an idiot, not making any move to move towards the man. The moment the man smiled at him, seemed to finally bring Alec out of his daze and the reason why this situation was so impossible, had finally reached his mind. Magnus couldn‘t be inside the Institute because it was not safe for him. He couldn‘t be inside the Institute because Aldertree was hunting him, together with every other Shadowhunter inside the building and Alec‘s heart had restarted to beat with an intense rush inside his rib cage from the panic that was seeming to overwhelm him.

But more than that, he was just so incredibly _ecstatic_  to see Magnus again that even his own worried heart had betrayed him and leapt for joy at actually being reunited with its other half.

With wobbly legs he hurried to close the last couple of meters that separated the two, because Magnus, for some reason, wasn‘t making an effort in that, but Alec didn‘t dwell on that and just thought of ways to bring himself closer to the Warlock faster, to finally have him in his arms. When he was but a step away, Magnus still didn‘t push himself forward to reach out for Alec, but Alec was already there, reaching out for him, and bringing him towards his chest as his hands wound around the man and even if Magnus‘ arms were holding him a bit awkwardly, his frame slightly stiff, Alec compensated for it with his own enthusiasm.

He squeezed his hands against the firm frame of his lover, and closed his eyes as he breathed out a sigh of relief and brought his nose in the crook of Magnus‘ neck to bask in his scent, willing it to ground him.

There was a moment of stillness where the two only held each other quietly, but then Alec was pushing himself away from the tight embrace, freeing his hands from around the man before him, both of them stumbling a little on their feet from the sudden separation. He then closed his eyes, took a deep breath in...

... and when his eyes opened, punched the face of his lover with his right fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do let me know what you liked and/or hated about the chapter. Your opinion is important.


	4. Fighting against the odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything that happens after Alec punches Someone in the last chapter. Things are going to get even more intense before they let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a bit longer wait than usual, but here it is. I really loved hearing from you guys - all those little things you notice. It was great!

It was approaching a twenty four hour time frame in which Magnus hadn't heard a word from Alexander.

Pacing from one corner of his living room to the other probably wasn‘t one of the most productive or even most creative things he had ever done in his long long life, but it seemed to be the only thing he was capable of doing without making something explode.

Yes, the poor lamp from France... well, he guessed he could always replace the thing.

One hand wrapped around his middle, another tapping his chin, Magnus tried to will himself to find a plausible reason on why he hadn‘t been contacted yet by the Lightwoods.

He agreed to stay put until the gang made sure that Magnus’ presence in the Institute wouldn‘t warrant him an immediate death sentence, but that was on the condition that he would get updated daily – if not by Alexander himself (considering his rather complicated and highly inconvenient situation with his mobile phone), then at least by his fiery but undeniably beautiful sister, Isabelle. But here he was, nearly a day after their last contact, sun below the horizon, and there was still no word coming from them – not a beep not a sound.

Clearly the only explanation he could come up with was that something must have happened back at the Institute to prevent them from making contact with Magnus, and taking into account their present situation, the likelihood of something having gone wrong was pretty high.

And Magnus would never be able to forgive himself if, in a crucial time, when his assistance was truly needed, he was not present only because he was saving his own ass... an old thing, really, that he wasn‘t hundred percent sure was worth saving, at least, not at the expense of others.

Which put him to his most recent dilemma – how much longer was he willing to wait in the dark until he decided to march head first in the Institute, consequences be damned. He sighed. He might be the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but his patience clearly wasn‘t thick enough for this. He’d told Simon as much. He could only hope the vampire fledgling was aware of it, assuming he was still in on the plan. Well, the last time Magnus heard, he was, but... things could change rapidly, in some rather unpredictable ways over the course of twenty four hours, so who knew if Simon was even anywhere near Alexander...

His shoulders slumped a little, head shaking at himself. He knew he was being ridiculous. Ragnor would be having a laugh if he could see him now, but he just couldn‘t help thinking that something was about to go horribly wrong and he was going to miss it before he could even try to stop it from happening.

With a sudden motion, he spun around his axis, white sparks of magic flickering from his fingers, only to summon a mobile phone into his waiting hand. He unlocked the screen, checked the messages...and, to his rapidly growing frustration, found none yet unread. Same with the missing calls, the last being from Alexander over twenty three hours and thirty two minutes ago.

It wasn‘t the phone‘s fault, exactly, but Magnus still swung the device to the couch on the far side of the room, not even bothering to check if it was still intact from his reckless actions.

Phones wouldn‘t help him. So what was he supposed to do to get in contact with people? He supposed it was time to make some use of the old tricks.

Good, reliable warlock tracking.

Abandoning the living room, Magnus took a few purposeful steps towards his bedroom, where he hoped he would manage to find something that belonged to the Shadowhunter. Admittedly, Alec wasn‘t one to just leave his stuff behind – even on the occasions when he had stayed over at Magnus’ he never brought much, and he took whatever he did bring back to the Institute with him.

With a flick of the wrist he had all the drawers in the room open, ready to start his search. It was rather baffling how difficult it could be to find a single object that belonged to his lover in his own home, but Alexander had always had a very unique way of living his life that Magnus greatly respected.

After coming up empty handed from the last drawer that he had checked, Magnus had reached the end of his patience, convincing himself that going straight to the Institute  was really his one and only choice. Suddenly, his gaze caught on something bright red at the bottom of the last drawer. He tentatively reached in to pull the thing out, a deep, shuddering sigh escaping his half-parted lips.

Omamori. Alexander‘s unexpected gift that he would, usually, be carrying with himself in his jacket‘s inner pocket. It was rare for him to forget to put the talisman in his pocket, even with all the suit changing that he’d done over the course of days, but he supposed that with all the planning for the party of Max‘s runing ceremony, even he, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, had forgotten about the little thing.

He caressed the red cloth with his fingertips. It was supposed to bring him  _luck and protection_ , Alexander had told him. Well, he certainly needed luck now, if he wanted to find his way to Alec and make sure he was okay.

With a sigh, Magnus put the talisman back where it belonged in the inner pocket of his jacket, and then a strange thing happened... his eyes seemed to draw themselves to the far side of the room where the wardrobe stood. He let his body send him towards the furniture, letting his fingers absentmindedly open the wooden doors, checking what was inside.

He supposed he would have to believe in the power of luck this time, as his face split into a huge grin at seeing Alec‘s formal suit hanging in his closet – the very same suit he’d worn to Max‘s party.

He grabbed the jacket with a flourish, spinning around to give himself more room and clutching the clothing between his fingers, ready to track down his lover.

Usually, tracking a Shadowhunter who was inside the walls of the Institute would be a lot harder of a task, requiring special access for the specific warlock‘s magic. Luckily for him, after the attack on the Institute the wards were still down (wards that he’d meant to graciously offer to put back up himself, before the Clave‘s brimming accusations – accusations that had somehow led to allegations of treason, which had him quickly reconsidering his offer). Well, he supposed that now worked in his favor, when he needed those wards down so he could use his warlock tracking without getting any interference.

Magnus closed his eyes and channeled all his energy into tracking Alec down, diving deeper and deeper into his subconscious mind until he could feel the connection on the other side, at once calming at least one of his worries about Alexander being okay. At least well enough to not be in any mortal danger. Though, as he pushed deeper, he was starting to feel the high agitation that his lover was feeling, not from his feelings precisely, that was Parabatai bonding, but the visual image was enough to ring warning bells in Magnus' head.

Alec was angry and furious at something, no, someone... someone, who apparently was laying face down on the ground, only a mass of dark hair prominent from his point of view, until the man shifted a little on the ground, his split lip showing and Magnus was fairly certain he already knew who that was.

Coming back out of their connection, Magnus' heart continued to beat in worry. “Oh, Alexander... what have you gotten yourself into?“

* * *

 

He was rather acquainted with the feeling of silent fury – the long years in the Institute while trying to suppress his more _unconventional_ feelings had taught him of the art. But Alec wasn't a machine. Far from it. His sensitive nature, while not known to many, was a part of him that secretly kept him up at nights. And the continuous probing to his most sensitive parts – the feelings that he took great lengths in trying to keep in check – had finally elicited a response from him.

Enough was enough.

And thus laid a man on the ground by Alec‘s feet.

Seeing the hunched over man, who was clearly not Magnus anymore (the glamour had worn off with the force of the punch), taking his time to really look at the man – the curly black hair with the prominent facial hair – Alec couldn‘t quite comprehend what it was that he was seeing.

Clearly there had to be an explanation why it was  _him_ , of all people, trying to persistently poke at Alec, again and again, trying his thinning patience. There had to be an explanation, which he was yet to see, because Alec himself was probably one of the least sociable people in their circle so the chances of him actually managing to have offended the man or his family sometime in the past were close to nil – considering how little contact he actually had with other people outside his family.

But if that were true... then why, why in the  _Raziel_ ‘s name would this man continue to haunt Alec without break? Was he just naturally insane? If that were the case, Alec would be glad, as it would solve the issue in one go, but the man was cunning and scheming above their level of understanding and insanity didn‘t sound like a believable reason. 

With cold, frozen eyes, Alec watched how the man on the ground proceeded to stand up – one bent knee at a time – his fingers reaching up to wipe the corner of his split lip, hissing at the touch.

Alec knew that this was probably a good time to start showing some remorse for his actions, to start creating some sort of excuse which would explain his sudden hostility, but the clenched tight-white fists by Alec‘s sides told him that he was much more likely to deliver a second punch... and then probably a third rather than apologize. Rather than being apologetic, Alec was feeling fairly justified in his actions and Aldertree was clearly aware of that when he had decided to provoke Alec.

Aldertree. The Head of the Institute that Alec had grew up in – knocked down by a fellow Shadowhunter, his subordinate.

Alec knew he was screwed as soon as the man wobbled on his two feet, a breathy laugh escaping his lips. He wiped some more of the perfusing  blood on his lips, finally deciding to talk. “Good punch,“ he said casually, while Alec tried to reign in his boiling temper by biting onto his lip and clenching his fingers in fists even tighter together. “I must say... I didn‘t quite expect you to find me out so soon.“

“Why...“ Alec started, but then had to take a few breaths to calm himself. “Why would you do that?“

Aldertree hummed in a casual consideration. “Hmm... to get information, of course.“

It was boiling. The blood under his skin was scorchingly hot and even with his desperate tries to stop himself from lashing out, the trembling of his whole body gave away his inner turmoil. Alec just couldn‘t bear the sight of this man anymore. He was done. Closing his eyes, he bit out harshly, “You had  _no right_. No right to do that to me.“

“I suppose... morally it was not pretty,“ Aldertree said, then something flickered in his eyes, like a new piece of information forming in his mind. “I‘m sorry, were you expecting for Magnus Bane to actually come to visit you?“

He was going to murder him.

Notedly, Alec had never done such a thing intentionally, by his own free will, but this man had simply gone too far.

Was he expecting Magnus to come to him?

No, he prayed for that to not happen only because he feared the moment that his lover did step inside the building he‘d be, accidentally or not, stabbed to death. And yes, he did want to see Magnus again because he was Alec‘s lover, who he had not seen in days and was worried sick he would never get the chance to see again. So yes, the moment he realized that the Magnus in his arms, was not actually him, Alec was devastated... heartbroken, even.

Aldertree had created a bud of hope inside him only to crush it before it could even get the chance to bloom.

And now he was asking Alec if he had expected Magnus to come see him?

“You‘ve gone too far, Aldertree,“ Alec said, looking the man in the eyes. “You‘ve broken the accords, when the Clave learns about it-”

“What accords?“ Aldertree suddenly asked, interrupting him.

Alec blinked, momentary put off. “Y-you tricked me! You-”

“Really?“ Aldertree asked and then put a finger under his chin like an imitation of deep thinking. “Funny thing, because I can‘t quite remember it happening. On the contrary, I think your recent actions should be put in question.“

Alec froze on the spot, feeling his legs nailed to the ground. No no no... this could not be happening to him. Not now. He couldn‘t afford to be put away now...

And before he could form another protesting thought, the Head of the Institute  straightened up, addressing Alec in an authoritative voice. “Assaulting the Head of the Institute is a serious crime, Alec. Worth deruning, which I‘m sure you knew, before deciding to punch me.“

Alec shook his head. “This was not- I didn‘t  _assault_  you, you provoked me-”

“And who‘s going to believe that?“ Aldertree asked abruptly, silencing Alec. “When you stand completely unscathed and me with a bleeding lip – who do you think, in this situation, was the one assaulted?“

“There‘re cameras - _proof_  - of what you‘ve done-” Alec tried protesting, if only grasping at straws. Aldertree just continued to look at him without twitching an eye – calm and confident in his own win.

“Do you honestly think you‘re ever going to get your hands on those things?“

 “You‘d-”  _Would he really abuse his power like that?_  The lazy smirk he gave Alec was proof enough, that  - yes, he would. “Why‘re you doing this?“ Alec asked helplessly. “Why‘re you taking this so far?“

“Alec, please,“ Aldertree had said and put a hand on Alec‘s shoulder, squeezing it with moderate strength. “This is not far enough. I‘m still yet to get my hands on Magnus Bane.“

Hearing him say that, the last string of composure snapped inside Alec -  at once he wrenched his arm free from under Aldertree‘s pressing hand, giving him a look of disbelief which quickly morphed into one of pure anger. “You leave Magnus the hell out of this. I swear, Aldertree, if you-”

Aldertree held up a hand to silence the other Shadowhunter who was already taking a few menacing steps towards him and put his hand behind his ear in a mocking gesture. “What was it? A threat? I suggest you think it through carefully before wording your thoughts out, Shadowhunter. You don‘t want to see the consequences of your reckless behavior. Do you?“

There was a moment of deadly silence where they both met each other in a staring match, only the sound of Alec‘s aggravated breathing filling the silence of the dimly lit hallway.

Alec‘s whole body was rigid and tense.

_Time and time and time and time again..._

Why was he always losing to this man?

What was about this man that managed to disarm Alec in ways he had never felt before? In ways that made Alec feel vulnerable, hopeless and really disgusted with his own inability to act. Aldertree had tied down his arms and legs and put him in a box – both mentally, and Alec was fairly sure would soon  _physically_ also.

Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, Raj, dear ol‘ Raj, appeared in the abandoned hallway, yawning with his mouth wide open before he spotted Alec and then Aldertree together and quickly composed himself, addressing the Head of the Institute with the polite formal language.

Aldertree seemed delighted to see Raj.

“Perfect timing. Raj, come here,“ he urged the man with a hand gesture, a pleased smile on his face. With a bit of confused frown, Raj stepped closer to the duo. Alec purposefully ignored the man, already condemning him for the thing he was about to be asked to do.

There was one more wide smile coming from Aldertree before he addressed his subordinate. “Raj, please escort Alec to the underground prison. I‘m afraid, he has become a threat to the institution. I expect a night in a cold cell should cleanse his mind of the treacherous thoughts.“

Biting his lip to keep himself from yelling out at the man, Alec stood stock still, refusing to budge and shooting daggers with his eyes which he prayed would hit the man.

Sadly, the man continued smiling.

“Uh...“ Raj darted his eyes between the two, shifting from one foot to another at the feel of cold tension in the air, himself confused. “Sir?“ he asked, just to be sure.

Aldertree turned to look back at him, exasperated. “Have you not heard my order, Raj?“

Raj shook his head. “No, Sir, I heard it. I just thought it was a bit strange-”

“What is strange, Raj, is my bleeding lip. Don‘t you think so?“ Aldertree had countered him, the other Shadowhunter shapping his lips in an ‘oh‘ and then nodding in understanding. He cleared his throat and took a few, at first unsure, steps towards Alec‘s rigid back. “Um... “ He reached out to grab hold of Alec‘s elbow but it got wrenched away, Alec shooting him a look which provoked Raj to hold his hands up in the air.

Aldertree heaved a sigh and that was enough for Raj to hurry and repeat the action. This time making sure to keep on holding onto Alec‘s elbow, even while the said Shadowhunter was drilling holes in the side of his head. “Come on, man. Don‘t make this even more difficult for yourself.“

The hand that was not being gripped by Raj, clenched the fist tightly by his side, taking in strength. He only started moving when he thought he was mentally ready to accept the injustice that was being done to him.

And of course at that moment Clary Fairchild had to appear in the hallway, her face full of concern and confusion, asking questions about what was being done to Alec and where were they taking him. Aldertree reassured her that Alec‘s punishment was valid and his reckless behavior had to be treated before it posed even more danger to the institution. Clary was having about enough of that nonsense when Alec himself decided to step in.

“It‘s okay, Clary.“

She shook her head in disbelief. “No, it‘s not! You can‘t just let him do this to you. You just can‘t! Alec.“ She pleaded for him to see it her way – that what Aldertree was doing was wrong and injust and he shouldn‘t cave in to him. But from what Alec could see - in worst case scenario, he was going to punch Aldertree again and then he would not be seeing the light of day ever again. Aldertree would make sure of it. Now, if he was lucky, he might only have to bear with this one night inside the rotting cell.

Not protesting was the best course of action for him right now. No matter how much he might hate it.

He was sure.

He reached out for her shoulder, giving it a pat in what he hoped was received as gratitude for her given support and turned back towards his captors, letting himself be lead towards  the underground prisons.

Alec had spent two days inside the prison cell.

And Aldertree was yet to give it an okay to let him out.

* * *

 

Magnus was fuming – his magic going wild inside his modest apartment in a series of what he liked to call  _‘accidents_ ‘ – a scorched chair, a broken wooden shelf, a medium rate explosion inside the kitchen – all the things that he couldn't quite control.

Speaking of things he couldn‘t control... his phone. That little devilish thing was going all out against the High Warlock of Brooklyn, refusing to speak, or well,  _beep_  or  _ring_ , or whatever one might call it when the thing started working.

Ever since the abrupt message from Clary two nights ago, he couldn‘t get in contact with either of the Nephilim. Two nights ago, when he tracked down Alexander only to witness him punching the lights out of the Head of the Institute, Magnus‘ phone went off, barely an hour later, a one word message on the screen – DON 'T.

Magnus scoffed. Don‘t what? Don‘t go blazing into the Institute? Don‘t worry about the consequences that his lover would surely have to face after assaulting the very man that seemed to be there out to get him? It was preposterous to expect him not to do something. Nobody just tells the High Warlock of Brooklyn to not do something... Magnus shook his head, apparently they do now.

He tried tracking Alexander again, but each time he did that, he was met with pitch blackness – that could sometimes simply mean the owner of the object being asleep, but after trying four times already, exhausting quite a large chunk of his magic in the process, Magnus had to wonder – how much sleeping could one Nephilim really do. Clearly something wasn‘t adding up here. And for some reason, their little gang of Shadowhunters plus one stray vampire were against him getting any information on it.

It only worried Magnus more.

Hence his embarrassing, really, outburst of magic inside his loft.

Magnus tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair he was sitting at, willing his phone to speak to him in any language.

He waited one minute...

Two...

Ten...

At minute twenty two, the thing finally drew out a sound – a quick beep that made Magnus nearly fall out of his chair but his graceful nature helped him keep his balance. He snatched the thing from the small table and read out the message from Isabelle.

 **FROM ISABELLE:**  ALEC HAS BEEN ARRESTED.

 **FROM ISABELLE:**  ALDERTREE WANTS YOU IN EXCHANGE FOR ALEC.

The heavy sigh that escaped the warlock felt like long since coming. “Oh, Alexander...“

* * *

 

Back in the Institute, Clary and Jace were sitting silently inside a quiet room – Jace on the only chair in the room and Clary at the end of the bed by a sleeping body – both with the expressions of concern on their faces.

Alec was still trapped inside the holding cell by Aldertree‘s command and though Maryse tried to ask her son to be let out, even her voice paled in comparison to the Head‘s. He reasoned that Alec was not ready yet to be let out, that he was not feeling remorseful enough. Whatever that might mean.

Clary was certain that it was only an excuse, while in truth Aldertree was buying time. She just wasn‘t sure for what.

Suddenly the sound of something ripping at the walls of the air itself snapped their focus on alert. Clary glanced at Jace with a questioning frown and Jace gestured for her to stay put, to stay where she was while he would go check what was happening outside those doors.

Jace silently crept by the door, pulling his Seraph Blade and keeping it ready in case he needed it. His hand grabbed hold of the knob and pushed the doors open. When he found no immediate threat coming at him, he stepped out of the room and motioned for Clary to stay, before closing the doors behind himself.

The sound that disturbed them was fairly familiar but he really hoped he was wrong. He could hurt his pride just this once, as long as it was not what the sound meant.

Unfortunatelly, as soon as he stepped behind the column, he cursed at the sight.

“Magnus. What‘re you doing here? Are you insane?“

Magnus rolled his eyes at the Nephilim. “I‘m starting to consider the possibility of that,“ he said rather nonchalantly at which Jace bulged his eyes at him, clearly confused by him, but before he could comment further, Magnus held up his hand to stop him. “Never mind that. Now where‘s Alexander? Is he okay?“

“I don‘t know. He‘s still in prison. Aldertree doesn‘t want to let him out. But, hold on, how did you know about Alec?“ Jace asked, giving Magnus a scrutinizing look.

“After you all seemed to cut off any contact with me, Isabelle had finally contacted me this morning.“

Jace seemed to look even more confused now. “Izzy? No, uh, she couldn‘t have.“ Magnus raised an eyebrow at the Nephilim. “Magnus, she‘s still in bed. She‘s sick.“

“What‘s wrong with Isabelle?“ Magnus asked in concern then after Jace‘s pointed look nodded in understanding. “Yin Fen.“

“Yeh. She looks like she‘s in a lot of pain, Magnus.“ The fear in Jace‘s voice was clear, and though the Shadowhunter sometimes tended to be a jerk, his love for his siblings should never be doubted.

Something clattered in the distance, making them both look in alarm at the sound – and while Jace‘s worried face about Magnus‘ well being was really touching to look at, they would probably be safer somewhere else, somewhere that was not the hallway in plain view.

“Lead me to her.“ Magnus gestured the urging motion with his hand to Jace.

* * *

 

Absentmindedly readjusting the covers of Isabelle‘s bed, Clary sat patiently still in the quiet room when suddenly the doors opened up and to her utter shock Jace came in, followed by Magnus.

“Magnus?“ She jumped on her feet, and in her delight didn‘t stop her instinct to rush towards Magnus, hugging him by the middle.

“Hello there, biscuit.“ Magnus said fondly, patting her back.

“Magnus, we don‘t have much time here,“ Jace said by their side and Magnus at once untangled himself from Clary.

“Right, of course.“

Sparks of blue magic descended on the prone form of Isabelle. Admittedly, he couldn‘t completely cure the illness that tormented her, but at the very least he could take the edge out of the pain, to let her sleep more peacefully.

Clary was standing by his side, hands crossed. “But if Isabelle wasn‘t the one that contacted you, then who was?“ she asked in concern of the real problem there and glanced at Jace, who had his face locked in a neutral expression.

“It might have been a trap.“

 _Of course it was a trap_ , Magnus thought in his own mind. As soon as he received the message on his phone, he knew the possibility of someone purposefully trying to lure him inside the Institute was very high and though he might have held a small hope for it not being the case, the Nephilim had just confirmed the fact. Nevertheless, Magnus would have still come, when his Alexander was in peril, trap or not.

Clary paced around the room, the gears in her head turning. “But who could‘ve used her phone like that?“

“Oh, I can think of at least one persisting individual,“ Magnus said, the bitterness clear in his voice and at his words the doors to the room opened up with a bang.

Jace and Clary flinched at the sound, their hands going for their Seraph Blades while Magnus slowly stood up from the chair by Isabelle‘s bed, turning to face the intruder.

“My fellow Shadowhunters,“ the dark skinned man greeted the duo with a smile. “Magnus Bane. How very delighted I‘m to see you here.“

“Aldertree,“ Magnus greeted the Shadowhunter with a wry smile. “How very unpleasant to see you.“

Aldertree chuckled at Magnus, but his posture remained upright, authoritative. “Let me get straight to the point. I want you to turn yourself in, or else I‘m afraid Alec Lightwood would not be able to see the sunshine any time soon.“

He stepped one step closer to the warlock and raised his head. “So what‘s it going to be?“

* * *

 

Surrounded by pitch blackness, sitting on the cold ground, Alec was beginning to lose his mind. He had been told that he‘d only have to stay locked for a single night but clearly more time must have passed since then. His body felt too sluggish, weak and cramped for it to be only a single day. Also, judging by the meals he had received – five or six – he could estimate at least two days. Two days without any light and a word from the outside world.

Two days since he had any contact with his siblings about the mission. And even more days since he last had any contact with Magnus.

Breathing out loudly Alec leaned his head against the cold wall, closing his eyes. Not that it would matter when everything was dark either way.

Unexpectedly, the doors to the underground prison opened up and for one moment Alec wondered if it was already the time for another meal but then the Shadowhunter who was not Raj, that much he knew, started jingling the keys against the lock of his holding cell, opening it up.

“You‘re free to go.“

Alec remained frozen to the spot, too confused to move.

“What?“ he asked. “Why? What changed?“ he kept asking the Shadowhunter but they kept silent and just lead Alec out of the prison box, out in the light... which quickly blinded Alec painfully.

Even after the long path down the hallways of the Institute, Alec still couldn‘t quite make his eyes to adjust to the lighting so quickly. He much more preferred to keep them closed but the other Shadowhunter who was apparently in charge of him now continued to move in a fast speed, so leaving only one option for Alec – to hurry after him.

The whole situation was absurd.

Alec expected some sort of word match between himself and Aldertree, not to be let out of the prison out of the blue like that.

After a few hundred meters, the other Shadowhunter mumbled something for Alec to wait there and scurried away, before Alec could even question him.

Alec groaned, his eyes still stinging, too vulnerable against the bright lighting inside the Institute, rubbing at them, as he started walking further down the hallways, in need to find his family. Maybe they would give him some intel on the situation.

He barely took a hundred meters before the voice that he dreamed about desperately to hear once again rang somewhere inside the hallway.

“...-can perfectly walk on my own, thank you.“

The hand that was rubbing against his face, fell down by his side as Alec slowly lifted his head to look ahead at the man. The styled up hair with purple ends on the locks, the velvet jacket that fit snugly against the firm frame that Alec knew was hidden under all that expensive clothing and jewelry,  the brown orbs that hid the most beautiful amber eyes...

Alec‘s breath hitched in his throat.

It was Magnus.

No, he must be dreaming, or- or Aldertree must be glamouring himself again, thinking that Alec would fall for the same trick twice, because Magnus couldn‘t possibly be inside the Institute... but then came out the man himself, stepping outside the room on Magnus‘ right, smiling in all his glory and Alec‘s world had slowly started to squeeze in on itself.

He stood there, rooted to the ground, slowly watching the events unfold – how with a resigned sigh Magnus extended his perfectly manicured hands, how the corner of Aldertree‘s lips quirked up when the magic suppressants were tightly attached on Magnus‘ wrists and how Alec‘s world literally seemed to end.

“No...“

The sound he had made took the attention of the people present – Magnus being the first to find Alec‘s eyes and lock them together. The surprise on Magnus‘ face then at seeing Alexander standing there which then morphed into one of sadness would haunt Alec till his last days. He felt his own face twist into a pained one, his eyes stinging for another reason altogether.

He couldn‘t believe this was actually happening. It just couldn‘t be happening. Magnus couldn‘t be- this couldn‘t be the end for how things ended for them.

He imagined the moment where he would see Magnus again, void of any remnants of the accusations that were never even true. He imagined how he would wrap his hands around the warlock, how it would feel to just bask in the moment of them having the chance to stay together.

But seeing him now was only tearing Alec‘s heart apart.

Not being able to hold out any longer, Alec took the remaining steps towards the man he had promised to himself he would never leave, only to nearly be stopped by Aldertree but at Magnus‘ furious remark on what could the Head be possibly afraid he would do when Magnus himself still had the magic suppressants on his wrists – he relented – and then there was nobody stopping Alec from wrapping his strong arms around his lover.

Holding onto Magnus desperately, Alec tried to bring them closer but his attempts would only remind them of Magnus hands that were bound and could only clutch desperately at the fabric of Alec‘s shirt. Hands around his shoulders and upper back, face tucked inside the crook of Magnus‘ neck, Alec continued to shiver as he held onto Magnus‘ body, while Magnus tried to say everything he couldn‘t say with his hands, say it with the soft kisses against the side of Alexander‘s neck.

Despite knowing old and new languages of the world, he somehow couldn‘t find the right words that would soothe the trembling Shadowhunter. Perhaps there were none.

When it was time to untangle from each other, the look on Alec‘s face nearly broke Magnus‘ ancient old heart. He feared the Shadowhunter would start blaming himself for this, while he knew that it was simply his choice.

“Alexander...“ he started, but no words, wise enough seemed to come out of his mouth.

Alec just kept on shaking his head, a bruising grip on Magnus‘ arm. “Magnus... don‘t...“

One more urging by the Head of the Institute and Magnus knew they couldn‘t prolong the inevitable any longer. Swallowing the tight lump in his throat, Magnus leaned up towards Alec and gave him one last peck on the cheek, feeling the Shadowhunter‘s breath constrict, and then let himself be lead away by a pair of Shadowhunters.

Alec continued to watch him being dragged down the hallway until he disappeared completely from view. A chocked sound escaping his lips.

He absentmindedly could hear some noise coming from the room by his side but paid it no attention before hearing his own name spoken. “No, Clary, if Alec knew-”

It was Jace‘s voice.

Momentary stunned, Alec turned his head towards his parabatai who came out of the room, followed by the redhead and just couldn‘t believe in his own eyes.

With eyes still shining from the emotional separation, his voice sounded weak and hoarse as he spoke. “You were there with him... and you let them take him a-away?“ he asked faintly, looking at his parabatai with all the hurt he was feeling, which he never imagined could get even greater.

“Alec, I...“

Jace tried speaking but Alec just didn‘t want to hear him.

No more.

He just wanted to run.

To get away from all those people.

Shaking his head and blocking all the sounds away, Alec ran off in the depths of the hallway, ignoring all the calls of his name.

* * *

 

It was horrible.

Everything was just... wrong.

Jace wasn‘t sure how everything just escalated so quickly, but he felt like everything was falling apart.

Ever since he last saw Alec, he couldn‘t put the imagine of his parabatai‘s betrayed face out of his mind.

With hands clutched tightly against his blonde locks, Jace sat on the steps in the cold corner.

He felt her presence before she even came to sit by his side.

“He hates me,“ he spoke in a broken whisper. “ Alec, he... he hates me now.“

There was a shake of the head and then a soft hand against his shoulder. “Alec doesn‘t hate you, Jace. He‘s just hurt,“ Clary said but Jace just couldn‘t believe her. Not this time.

He was certain of what he felt that time.

“He hates me,“ he said more firmly, brushing Clary‘s hand away. “You don‘t know what he‘s feeling – all that betrayal that‘s coming right at me – you don‘t know that, Clary. You can‘t know that.“

Seeing his agitated state, Clary tried to soothe him.

“Jace. Jace. Whatever Alec is feeling now, it‘s being influenced over his worry for Magnus. It‘s not his real feelings-“

Jace suddenly stood up, turning to face her. “But it is. Because I... I feel it. It‘s real. It‘s happening right now. And it‘s been happening ever since I activated the Sword,“ he said as a sudden realization, his face morphing into one of horror. “I did this to Alec. To Magnus. I‘m the one who did this,“ he whispered brokenly.

“Jace, please, no one is blaming you-”

“I‘m blaming myself, okay, Clary!?“ he shouted out, and though he might have felt bad about making Clary flinch, he couldn‘t care about it now. “I am,“ he repeated more calmly then. “Can‘t you just not- stop being nice to me, okay?“

 “I‘m just trying to help-”

He knew she only wanted to help but with everything that happened... Valentine... their whole situation was just weird now. Weird and confusing and honestly it just hurt. So much that he couldn‘t bear it anymore.

“Well don‘t. Because I can‘t take it anymore. It‘s too much,“ he said and stalked off, leaving Clary watch helplessly at his retreating back, calling out for him in vain, him not even caring about nearly colliding with Simon and just brushing him off.

“Whoa. What was that about? Clary?“ Simon asked at seeing her hurt expression and came to stand by her. “Hey. Hey, is everything okay?“

“I... don‘t know,“ she said and let herself be embraced in a comforting hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, guys. You didn't really think I'd let Alec punch Magnus, did you? Poor Alec though. And Magnus. And I feel your hate for Aldertree, I do. I have started to hate him myself lol 
> 
> Please do let me know what you liked/or disliked about the chapter and see you in the next one!


	5. Risking it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus has been brought to prison inside the Institute and Alec witnessed Jace and Clary doing nothing to stop Aldertree from taking Magnus away. The relationship between Alec and Jace is strained and Alec is forced to make some very difficult decisions about his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks going to Hippiewych for helping me with beta-reading the chapter. 
> 
> My warlock mark logic is my own, don't hate me too much if you don't agree.

Standing just outside the training room Jace couldn’t make himself take another step. His lungs had constricted painfully, scratching at him from within with a force of sharp claws only the nastiest of demons could possess. He held his breath as he watched his brother, his parabatai, sitting alone on the floor in the wreckage of what was once a training room. Alec’s fingers were buried deep in his dark locks, yanking onto them with each exhale of breath, his knees half-bent, giving him an even more vulnerable look.

Other than a few frustrated exhales of air, Alec appeared motionless, seemingly oblivious to the world around him – the overturned bench, the arrows pointedly sticking from both the punching bag and the faraway camera that Jace was absolutely certain was installed just recently by Aldertree himself, the bits and pieces of wooden planks all over the floor, nails sticking out…

Jace exhaled uneasily, horrified to see how far Magnus’ capture had driven his brother.

The scene, once again, reminding Jace of the intensity of the feelings that Alec had for the warlock.

Ever since Magnus had been taken away to the prison, Jace felt spikes of impulsive anger coming from their shared bond, which, while not completely unusual these days for Alec, the intensity and the raw intent of going wild with the said feeling, definitely was.

Alec was always his anchor, his savior, his voice of reason when Jace would go too far… he wasn’t supposed to be _this_ , this shell of a man Jace knew he could actually be. The confident, liberating self Jace had witnessed Alec slowly growing into, seemed to be nowhere to be found, almost like he never even was there in the first place.

It almost felt like Jace had made up the steadily growing feeling of warmth that would surge through their shared rune when Alec would sneak away to see Magnus. Or the sight of those teeth-wide carefree smiles that seemed to increase each day. The happiness, longing, desire, love – all those distinct feelings that Alec denied himself too long – they were finally reachable for him, only to be taken away in a blink of an eye.

Alec wasn’t supposed to be someone forced in a corner like that, trapped between his duty and his heart. If anyone, he deserved to be happy. To be free.

But he couldn’t be that right now.

And Jace was the reason for it all.

At first Alec’s anger was mostly directed at Jace, but little by little it started to manifest into something much stronger and wide-spread.

He feared going to Alec for answers, mostly because he didn’t think he deserved them. Not after what he did. Or what Alec thought that he did. No matter the true reasons behind Jace’s choice of letting Magnus go, what mattered was that in the eyes of Alec – he had failed him. Horribly. So much that he wasn’t sure he was ever going to be forgiven.

So he postponed going to Alec as much as he could. Thoughts like  _Maybe Izzy would get better soon and could check on Alec?_  kept his “excuses bag” full, until he couldn’t ignore the probing in his parabatai rune any longer and went to check on Alec himself, only to see him  in the horrible state that he was.

Lost. And devastated.

He swallowed the tight lump in his throat, shifting on his feet before calling out to Alec.

The word echoed like a gong throughout the room. Though said in barely a whisper it caused Alec’s whole back to go rigid – every muscle tensing – until his hands fell down from his face, showing the glistening sweat on his temple, the slightly parted lips together with the furrowed brow that seemed to be stuck permanently on his face these days.

He didn’t make any indication of acknowledging Jace, only continued to sit right there, on the ground, with his arms resting against his knees, and a part of Jace broke at the rejection.

“Alec…” he started again, but couldn’t follow the thought, feeling a sharp sting of coldness coming through their bond. His throat closed up, eyes shining in the light of the single lamp that was still intact in the whole room, and he couldn’t even feel ashamed of such vulnerability, ready to beg, if needed, just for Alec to not look at him like that ever again.

“Alec… just tell me what I can do,” he choked out, feeling the swaying in his legs from where he stood, a few meters away from Alec’s crumpled form.

He watched Alec’s eyes that closed tightly shut, the shake of his head, and the clenched jaw that grit out the harsh words. “There’s nothing you can possibly do to make me feel better, Jace. Just… go away,” he finished with a defeated sigh, mostly just sounding tired of it all.

Jace included.

It stung more sharply than any rejection he ever felt - worse than the thought of Maryse wanting him dead, worse than his biological mother not wanting him… even worse than seeing Clary with Simon, growing stronger and stronger together each day. No. This was far worse than any of those. Because Alec was a part of him, a second half which was, honestly, irreplaceable. And this second part of him was now rejecting him, tearing Jace apart.

“A-Alec, I didn’t…”

He wasn’t sure how he would have ended that sentence, but his mouth closed shut the moment Alec sprung onto his feet, eyes boring directly at him with all the built-up rage and pain.

“You were standing right there with him _,_ ” Alec started, his brown orbs shining with a dark look, while his whole frame shook from the emotional turmoil that was happening inside him.

“ _Right there_ ,” he stressed the words, sending waves after waves of stabbing accusations through their shared bond. “And y-you… lost him,” he said, nearly in a whimper, the sound hurting Jace more than any kind of yelling ever could. Alec’s throat moved in a rhythmic clench-and-release motion before he started speaking again.

“You let Aldertree take him away when you  _knew_  that he wanted Magnus for treason. I…” he stopped and shifted his eyes to the side, away from Jace, while taking in strength with a few practiced breaths. “I just don’t get it,” he said, risking a somewhat hopeful glance at Jace but changed his mind in the middle of it, closing off. “No. You know what? I don’t even want to get it. Because after this, Magnus is probably never going to see the light of day. Aldertree will…and Magnus…”

The sudden terror that flew through their bond, consumed every part of Jace’s body, capturing Jace so suddenly, that it even evoked a gasp from him. Seizing him from within. And if Jace felt it so intensely, he was afraid to know the true strength of what Alec felt it as his own emotion. It nearly made him feel sick himself.

“Oh God,” Alec breathed out, voice shaky. “I’m never going to see him again, am I?”

The vulnerability in Alec’s voice, awoke the protective instinct in his body, wanting to embrace him with reassuring words, but the flinch he got from his brother while trying to reach out for him, told him that it was not welcome.

He closed his eyes before speaking.

“Look, Alec,” he started carefully. “I’ve been to prison myself. It’s not pretty, but Magnus’s not-“

The humorless laugh that broke out from Alec’s mouth, while sounding foreign, sent chills down Jace’s spine. “What?” he asked, his face lacking any humor seconds later. “Are you being serious right now? Are you seriously comparing  _your_  situation to Magnus’?” he asked in such a way that it made Jace feel ashamed of his own voice.

“Alec…”

The taller shadowhunter exhaled a short breath, running his fingers down his dark locks in clear frustration.

“Do you  _not_  know what they do to Downworlders charged with treason? In a  _Shadowhunters’_  prison?”

By this time Alec was standing almost chest to chest to Jace, but he felt more distant to Jace than ever. The pulse in his head throbbed painfully, and he wondered if it was his own heartbeat or both of theirs combined.

“It doesn’t have to come to that, Alec. There hasn’t been a trial yet-“

He was abruptly cut off by Alec. “There hasn’t been  _any_ trial yet and Magnus is already in prison, Jace. You just… Please, just go, okay? I-I can’t do this right now. I just… can’t. I…” He swallowed and continued, “Just why… tell me, why did you let Aldertree take him? Just tell me the reason, Jace!” he begged in frustration and hurt. And while his voice sounded accusing, a flicker of hope and affection flew by their bond, seizing his heart in a painful grip.

It hurt Jace to see how devoted to him Alec was, trying so hard to believe in Jace even after he could very well be the reason why his brother would not be able to see his lover ever again.

“I’m sorry, Alec… I failed you,” he said, voice weak and hoarse. “You have every right to be mad at me. H-hate me even.” His voice cracked at the end. The very idea of Alec hating him burnt him more painfully than any flame ever could.

He loved Alec. His parabatai. His brother. He couldn’t imagine his world without him in it. And he would never be able to forgive himself if his actions were truly the reason why they drifted apart.

He already experienced it once. He never wanted to go through that again.

There was a heavy sigh from his side, and when he looked up, he saw that Alec had managed to go further in the room, pick up the fallen bench and now was sitting on it with his head held down. “I don’t… hate you,” he whispered, soothing Jace’s fears in a single sentence. “You’re my parabatai, I  _can’t_  hate you it’s just…”

Jace took a few careful steps towards Alec’s slumped form on the bench – fingers laced together against his forehead, while his elbows rested on his bent knees – he looked _lost_.

”I’m so lost, Jace,” he said a few seconds later, taking Jace’s breath away. He mustered his courage to come and sit by Alec’s side, and when he didn’t get a flinch from Alec in return, he took it as a small win. “I… don’t know what to do, Jace. I can’t imagine not ever seeing him again.”

Jace nodded, though he wondered if Alec was aware of that. “I get it, Alec. I do. And I promise you, we,  _I_  will do everything to help you get Magnus back.” When Alec said nothing, he continued, “We tried everything legal, or well, semi-legal, I guess.” He rolled his eyes at himself and heard Alec snort by his side, leaving a smile on Jace’s face. “Anyway, we could just break into the system. Take the recordings and show it to the Clave. We’ll deal with the consequences later-“

Alec was shaking his head, making Jace stop talking. “No. I can’t let you do that. You’ve already gone far enough for me,” the older shadowhunter said and turned to smile at Jace, though it was clouded with worry. “Magnus is my responsibility now. If anyone’s going to risk anything for him, it’s going to be me,” he said in a voice full of confidence and finality, giving Jace no choice but to accept his choice. He nodded.

“What’re you going to do?” Jace asked, watching as Alec stood up and put his bow and quiver on his back, glamouring them.

“I’m going to talk with Aldertree,” he said, back towards Jace. Gone was the unsure and vulnerable man. Instead, before him stood a man on a mission.“This war was between me and him to begin with.”

And when he watched Alec’s back disappear in the depths of the hallways of the Institute, Jace only hoped to have a chance to see his brother again.

* * *

 

In the office of Aldertree, the man himself and Maryse were having a word match among themselves. Maryse tried to reason with the Head of the Institute that having ‘assault’ in one’s record was a death sentence if the said someone wanted to ever run the Institute, but Aldertree was unyielding, firm in his belief that Alec got it easy by only getting his record stained and not charged with a sentence much more serious, considering the gravity of his actions.

Maryse was the same, if not more, stubborn so after a half an hour’s battle, they came to a compromise – Alec would be pardoned of his crime if he would personally apologize to Aldertree.

Maryse assured him that it would be done.

It was that moment when the doors of the office flew wide open and in went Alec, eyes shining in fury with fists clenched by his sides. He didn’t even spare Maryse a single glance before rounding onto Aldertree who was sitting casually by his table.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he spat out harshly.

“I don’t think I know what you’re talking about, Alec,” the Head of the Institute said, looking at him like watching a petulant child.

“Don’t play dumb, Aldertree,” Alec burst out, his hands slamming on the wooden table. “Revoke the order on Magnus. Right now!”

Aldertree smirked but it was soon masked with his professional smile. “Oh, so you’ve heard,” he said nonchalantly and when Maryse tried to cut in, scandalized by Alec’s behavior, held out his hand to keep her at bay. “It’s all right, Mrs. Lightwood. I believe this is between Alec and me. It seems he has learnt of the sentence of Magnus Bane which was issued this morning.”

“What is his sentence?” Maryse asked, showing unusual interest in the situation.

Aldertree sighed. “Considering he was charged with treason, there was only one path to take. The punishment for treason is removal of one‘s power – in which case, it is removal of the warlock‘s mark,“ he said it in such an indifferent way, like it wasn‘t tearing Alec‘s whole world apart to hear it. If he wasn‘t so full of anger and need to protect Magnus against this unfair fate, he would have gotten sick at the very idea of someone carrying out the sentence.

He swayed a little on his feet, but composed himself, stubbornly refusing to give in to the man who continued to speak in his nonchalant manner. “The sentence will be carried out in two days time. Although if someone would bring solid evidence that Magnus Bane is, indeed, innocent, the charges would be put away.“

The smile he gave Alec next provoked the need inside him to tear the man to shreds.

Conveniently ignoring the elephant in the room, Maryse then had the audacity to propose the idea of Alec apologizing to Aldertree.

“What?” he only managed to utter, because clearly, this could not be what he had heard.

“Alec…” she started with a sweet smile, but Alec cut her off, not letting her speak any longer.

“Are you kidding me?” he yelled out, adjusting his stance to an aggressive one.

He couldn’t believe Maryse could be this blind to the situation to expect Alec to bow down to the very man that was holding an axe over his lover’s head. He just couldn’t fathom the absurdity of the idea. He was ready to fight them both – Aldertree and Maryse – verbally, when Maryse took him by the forearm and brought him in a corner for a private  _family chat_.

It only made Alec laugh inside. The hypocrisy of it all.

“Alec, you’re going to ruin your life by acting this way.”

“Magnus _is_  my life!” he found himself saying, swallowing at the meaning of the words, before realizing how true they were. And clearly the widened eyes and parted mouth of his mother showed him how little about his life she truly knew.

It took her a moment to compose herself but when she did, she started again.”You may think that, but that doesn‘t mean he thinks the same of you,“ she said.

“He does,“ Alec said with conviction in his voice.

“He‘s lying and using you, Alec,“ she spoke through gritted teeth, exasperated by his inability to see her way of thinking.

Alec could only shake his head at her. “You don‘t know a thing about me and Magnus,“ he spat in frustration, gaining a hurt and stubborn look from his mother.

“Maybe. But what I know is that Magnus Bane has had hundreds of others before you.“  _Seventeen thousand_ , his mind unhelpfully supplied. “He‘s going to have hundreds of others after you. You‘re only a blink of an eye in his eternal life.“

Alec stood with a clenched jaw, staring at her without moving an inch, and Maryse took it as an excuse to bring her hand towards his foream, gripping it with meaning. “Alec. Apologize just this once, all right? For your future. Think about every path that will be open for you if only you swallow your pride this once and make amends with the Head of the Institute. He‘s your superior now, Alec. But maybe one day you‘ll be sitting in the same seat. So apologize now and live freely later.“

He could hear the words that were being spoken, but it mostly only felt like ringing to his ears. Constant, years worth of ringing, all with the same message – work hard, follow the rules, protect your future as the Head of the Institute… work, position, reputation…it was all his future ever had to offer him.

He wasn’t aware of how bleak it looked until he truly _looked_  at it.

Swallowing the tight lump that formed in his throat, Alec closed his eyes and turned away from Maryse, escaping her grip on his arm.

His heart kept beating inside his chest, pounding against the walls of his rib cage like trying to escape his body, his breathing increased with each passing minute, the ringing in his ears… at one moment he even saw his vision start to swim, beginning to consume him in the darkness…

When suddenly, with a flick of a switch, everything dissipated – the pounding of the heart, the elevated breathing, the ringing in his ears – it all disappeared and he mostly just felt numb. Numb to Maryse’s fake concerns, numb to Aldertree’s sneer… he just shut it all out under a lock and with all the effort he could muster out of himself, took the remaining steps by Aldertree’s table and while looking the man in the eyes, spoke what needed to be said.

“I‘m sorry,“ he choked out, seeing how Aldertree‘s eyes widened with his words. He continued, “I‘ll make sure that you won‘t have to worry about my reckless behavior any more.“

He left the room like a ghost, not really having the feel of his body, with only a delighted noise coming from his mother following his retreating back.

* * *

 

It was already dusk outside the walls of the Institute when Alec sneakily went inside to see Izzy – sleeping soundly in her own bed. She was not yet cured from the addictions of Yin Fen, but she was getting there. The sweat on her forehead had lessened considerably in the last hours and her shallow breathing was slowly coming back to a regular pace and depth.

He took a moment for himself to just look at her sleeping form, bask in her features that were illuminated by the moonlight coming from the gap between the curtains.

He pushed himself away from the spot by the closed doors and went towards her bed, slowly and carefully lowering himself onto it to not wake up Izzy. His fingers ran along her soft dark hair, settling onto petting her head a little in what he hoped meant human comfort, though he was not sure how much aware of it a sleeping person could be.

Shaking his head a little at the ridiculous thoughts, his fingers shifted a little, a string of dark locks getting tangled in between his fingers. He cursed himself when it evoked a low moan from Isabelle, her eyes fluttering open.

Alec greeted her with a sheepish smile, unsure what to do with himself – starting with his hovering hand, ending with his lower body that was half sitting on the bed, another half – ready to stand up and step out those doors.

She blinked a few times at him, her eyes still blurry with sleep. “Alec? What’re you…” she trailed off, slumping in the bed, either out of exhaustion or from the safety that her brother’s presence brought her.

He smiled at her with a soft, adoring look, reaching out towards her to still her. “Go back to sleep, Izzy. Everything’s going to be fine. I just…” he swallowed, his eyes locked onto her expectant ones, and exhaled a breath. “You know how much I love you, right?” he whispered, his voice echoing in the room more loudly than it should.

The words provoked a delighted smile from Isabelle, and Alec was sure it was worth it, getting the courage to say them, even if not often.

“I love you too, hermm…ano,” she said sleepily, slurring the words a little which only made Alec chuckle good-naturedly at his sibling. He pulled the covers a bit more securely onto her, readjusting them as he stood up, pecked her on the forehead and whispered to her to rest up.

He was just by the doors, his back towards the bed, when something in Isabelle snapped her momentarily back to focus, back to consciousness, and the image of her brother’s back seized her beating heart so tightly that she called out for her brother, almost involuntary. “Alec?”

He didn’t turn back, nor did she see his face, but she did see his fingers gripping the door knob more fiercely and the way his voice echoed in a lonely-like tune. “Goodnight, sis.”

* * *

 

Frankly speaking Magnus wasn’t having a good day.

Ridiculous as it was, he had hopes that the  _magic supressants_  that were put on him would be just that - ‘magic supressants’ - and that he could easily overpower the things.

Now he felt that with his old age he had become too conceited.

Because not only did he not manage to overpower the said thing, it was also not a ‘supressant’ to begin with. Rather it was a magic  _drainer_  – steadily leeching the magic out of Magnus. And, obviously, the more magic he used while trying to escape the binding shackles, the faster his magic went.

He was stubborn, all right, so by the time he realized that he’d lose first before those metal things around his wrists, he already had a significant amount of magic drained – a small drops of sweat glistening on his temple.

He leaned his head back against the cold wall inside the cell, feeling his magic swirl in chaos inside him as it forcefully left his body. He was starting to feel dizzy and losing the feel of his most basic motor skills, so in hopes of saving up as much of his magic as he could, he gave up on trying to find an escape plan for the time being, just sitting still.

His magic ran throughout his whole body but the most concentrated place still was his warlock mark – his eyes. As more and more magic left his body, he could feel the shift from shining cat eyes to the human ones, until they settled onto the amber ones, the glamour completely off.

Magnus closed his eyes.

He probably would never get used to the idea of showing his warlock mark outside his comfort zone, only to those he truly trusted, and being put in such a situation only made him feel vulnerable and horribly exposed.

Anger swirled inside him.

He chided himself for being naive enough to get caught in Aldertree’s trap. While the plan might have been well thought out, Magnus had years of experience in the field, clearly he could have bested a single shadowhunter…

Thinking about shadowhunters only brought him to the thoughts of his own dear Alexander…

He wondered what was he doing right now. Was he okay, or did Aldertree do something to him also? Was he worrying about Magnus and beating himself up over letting Magnus be captured? He hoped not. Though he knew Alec better than to expect him not to.

With a sigh, he shifted his head to the side, his cheek resting against the wall, seeping in the coldness to his heated cheeks. His vision got even more blurry – dark spots dancing in his vision and it was mainly the reason why it took him so long to realize that something was happening outside his cell door.

Everything was getting whiter and whiter in his line of vision, the air around him taking the shape of gas… white gas that soon had him coughing, the small amount of magic doing nothing to preserve his lungs.

At first he only felt confused. Unable to tell what was happening. Until he spotted movement inside the cloud of smoke, a tall dark shape that was dancing with experienced moves – the raise of forearm to block the hit, the crouched down position to evade, the extended hand towards the stomach that got the other choking on his own breath.

Magnus’ breath got caught in his throat when he realized that the dark figure fighting amongst a crowd of other shadowhunters, which were probably guards of his holding cell, was none other than Alexander.

His savior and protector.

Granted, there wasn’t a white horse by his side but he looked like Magnus’ own black knight in leather armor, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

As more smoke dissipated, Magnus saw the hand that held an active Seraph blade and another that held the bow, both being used to get the enemy, though he wondered if they could be called as such, disarmed.

Alec wasn’t using his full strength, clearly having no intentions of going for the kill, but the force he used was enough to leave a sea of bodies groaning in pain on the ground.

He hesitated only for a second at the sight of his fellow shadowhunters crumpled on the ground before he swiftly ran the remaining few meters towards Magnus’ cell, opening it with his stele.

With a click of the doors, Alec was standing inside the cell of Magnus, eyes wild and mouth slightly parted, almost as if unable to believe what he had done. Magnus stared at him in equal shock, a single word escaping his lips. “Alec…”

It seemed to work as a trigger for Alec, because he at once shook himself out of whatever unsure thoughts he had and closed the gap that separated them, crouching down to take Magnus’ bound hands in his own, stele ready to burn the rune on the metal restraints.

“Alec...“ Magnus started hoarsely, his throat closing up. “What‘re you doing here?“

Alec still refused to meet his eyes, stubbornly looking at the restrains on Magnus‘ wrists like he could burn them with his eyes alone.

“I‘m getting you out of here,“ he said.

Magnus shook his head at the young shadowhunter, unable to believe that he was pushed so far to resort to breaking the very law he once worshiped.

“Alec, you don‘t know what you‘re doing. If you do this-”

Alec interrupted him abruptly. “I know what I‘m doing, Magnus,“ he said it like he meant it, though his eyes still looked lost and his fingers kept clenching around the shackles around Magnus‘ wrists. Waiting. Unsure. The last piece of decision hanging between them.

Magnus exhaled a long breath. “I don‘t think you do. Alexander... if you do this.... You may very well lose everything.“

He hated himself for putting the pained look on Alec‘s face, but he couldn‘t let him do this without letting him understand the risks, no, _the sacrifice_ , that he would be making just to help him out. He never wanted to put Alec in a corner like that.

The shaky breath that escaped Alec as he opened his eyes, the firmer grip on Magnus‘ wrists – both  told him that the decision was already made. “I can lose everything else, but I can‘t lose you,“ he whispered, though his voice didn‘t waver, it sounded sure and determined. And then he finally lifted his eyes up towards Magnus, both of theirs shining with raw emotion.

 Staring into Alec‘s eyes and seeing his own reflection there, Magnus couldn‘t bear it any longer and before Alec could even proceed to get Magnus out of the bindings, the warlock grabbed the lapels of Alec‘s shirt and brought his mouth onto his. He swallowed the surprised gasp that escaped his shadowhunter‘s mouth, nipping onto his upper lip with ferocity he denied himself to show for years.

There were no words enough to say what he felt for Alexander at that moment, but he hoped showing him was enough. And because he knew the time was short and they still were not out of danger, he added an extra bit of passionate urgency into their kiss, leaving Alec breathless and with swollen lips by the time their locked lips parted from each other.

They rested their foreheads together, breathing in the shared air, until Alec took it upon himself to draw the opening rune with a shaky hand, interlocking their fingers as soon as the shackles fell down on the floor.

“Come on. We have to hurry,“ he said in a hoarse whisper, and led them out of the doors, past the sea of defeated bodies that were slowly getting back on their feet.

They ran down the dim lit tunnels of the prison, hands gripping each other tightly, and hid into the corners to let the unaware guards pass by.

Magnus was mostly moving on adrenaline. His magic was reaching the deepest ends he had ever remembered himself being in. Only the reassuring grip of Alec gave him enough motivation to keep on moving, to not slow them down.

“Magnus,“ Alec called him, his back  facing him, as he continued surveying the area. “Can you make a Portal?“

Magnus thought about it for a while and then frowned. “Not right away. Although I think I could bring half of a Portal...“ he trailed off misteriously, making Alec give him a quick glance with a raised eyebrow.

“Half? What does that mean?“

Magnus shook his head a little. “It is what it sounds like. Half a Portal. Half-done. Highly advised against,“ he gestured with his hand to make his point.

“Why? Is there danger to getting stuck in limbo?“Alec asked in concern.

“No,“ Magnus said. “But I might have to use the very last bit of my magic if I wish to change the apartment‘s location when we teleport. I‘d be completely out....“

Alec nodded at the new information and shifted a little bit more to cover Magnus‘ body with his own. “Okay. Conserve your magic for that Portal. And I‘ll fight,“ he said in an authoritative voice that made Magnus smile softly after the initial surprise, stopping him from arguing. He couldn‘t disagree with a well thought out plan now, could he?

 They rounded the corner which, to their utter relief, was empty, and Magnus took the opportunity to create the portal. His magic sparked and hissed, putting an unpleasant strain to his body, but with a lot of effort he managed to make the most of the Portal – enough to let them both pass through it.

Alec kept glancing at him worriedly from his spot by the column where he kept watch, and only after Magnus‘ reassuring smile did he seem to relax a bit.

Though, of course, just then a new team of shadowhunters appeared at the end of the tunnel, making Alec duck at the flying arrow and pull one of his own in what Magnus would think a general direction of the team, but probably was precisely thought out missed arrow. A warning to back off.

He grunted, when the strain of keeping the Portal open started to be too much to him and called out for Alec to take his hand. Alec turned his head towards him and after checking behind him just to be sure, ran up to him, interlocking their hands, ready to follow Magnus.

“Alec!“ the painfully familiar voice rang out throughout the walls, making Alec turn at the last second, one leg already in the Portal, only to witness Aldertree running ahead of the team with eyes wide and full of disbelief at him. “Alec, if you go with Magnus Bane now, not only him, but you also will be considered the traitor to the Clave. Think before you make a mistake,“ he stressed the last words like they would bring some sort of realization to Alec.

After everything that was said and done, after everything he had to experience because of him... he really had nothing more to say to the man. With a hardened stare, he turned his back to the Head of the Institute, to the shadowhunters‘ team, to his home... and disappeared through the Portal with Magnus by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT - I wanted to know if you guys would be okay with me upping the rating to 'M'? I don't plan on writing anything explicit but what I have in mind May be a little too much for T rating... but, of course, I'll try to fit in, if you vote against it. Please leave me your opinion on this!
> 
> THE GOAL - this chapter was what I was aiming for from the beginning. To create a difficult journey for Alec which would make him literally risk it all for Magnus.
> 
> LASTLY - as always, leaving your thoughts below would make my day. Cheers.


	6. The High Warlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All that build up tension has to go somewhere...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the gratitude and love going to my beta who has helped me in perfecting these chapters.

The Portal ripped open through the air with a stressful sound, leaving Magnus and Alec both stumbling inside the living room of Magnus’ loft. It snapped shut just as their feet met the ground.

 Alec was still breathing heavily from the rush of adrenaline that he had experienced in the last hour, looking wildly inside the room for anything spooky to come out of the shadows. He couldn’t help feeling on the edge. Not after everything that happened.

He noticed a spark of blue flame in his peripheral vision, his right hand twitching in reflex and only then did he seem to realize that it was still occupied by another – Magnus’ fingers wrapped around his own in a tight grip. He squeezed his hand, as a way of proving to himself that they were both truly safe and together in this, and turned his head towards Magnus.

The warlock wasn’t looking at him when he shifted his eyes on him, but there was a deep crease of concern on his forehead, which, as a result provoked a frown out of Alec. “Magnus,” he called out, squeezing their joined hands more firmly to bring him out of whatever daze he had gotten himself into.

As if coming out of a dream, Magnus blinked a few times, his eyes lifting up to lock onto the Shadowhunter’s – deep browns boring into him with the intensity that made Alec’s heart constrict inside his chest. “You okay?” he asked breathlessly. He cleared his throat afterwards, feeling somehow awkward how easily his lover’s presence alone could take his breath away.

Without saying a word in response, Magnus shook his head slightly, but his brow only furrowed further and Alec had to wonder if he had even heard him at all. Alec was starting to worry about the unusual behavior of the warlock when suddenly the feel of fingers around his own had left his hand, Alec missed the feeling at once, and then the same hand was brought up to rest against Alec’s chest, palm spread out. Alec blinked, confused, then felt a slight push and then a stronger one, when he didn’t budge, against his chest, and he felt himself involuntarily taking a few steps backwards until the back of his knees had hit the edge of the couch, making him stumble against the arm of the furniture.

He was so taken by surprise that at first he didn’t understand how he had even gotten in that position – half splayed against the arm of the couch, his legs spread out rather awkwardly all over the thing – until he felt a weight of another body leaning into his personal space and his eyes widened at the sight of Magnus, so close, and still coming closer.

He swallowed, feeling breath leaving his lungs as his eyes traced the warlock’s face – starting from his darkened eyes, towards the slight flush against his cheeks, ending with the parted lips where the labored breathing was coming from. “Magnus… what’re…” he trailed off, his heart skipping a beat the moment he felt an arm slamming against the back of the couch just by his head, crowding Alec between Magnus’ body and the couch.

“I… uh…” he stammered, not really finding his voice. He was pretty sure they were not supposed to be getting themselves into a situation like this right now, but it was a really difficult task to even try to resist the charms of the warlock, who was also conveniently his boyfriend.

“Magnus, I think…” The hand that was resting against his chest started to slip downwards, Alec’s stomach muscles constricting in the process, until they settled against the hem of his shirt, slowly lifting it up. At the feel of Magnus’ cold rings against his heated up skin Alec nearly shot out of the couch, too worked up, but only managed to squirm a little underneath Magnus’ hovering hand, clenching his eyes tightly shut in the process.

“Magnus, I don’t think this is the right… time…” he said in a rush, his body freezing in anticipation, while his thoughts ran ahead of him, without his consent.  

“The rune…” Magnus said in a hoarse whisper.

Alec blinked in confusion. “Huh?”

He found himself distracted once again by the puff of air against his exposed patch of skin, which made him shiver, unable to fully focus on what was Magnus saying.

So the next words that came out of the warlock’s mouth threw him off. 

“I need to deactivate your parabatai rune,” Magnus said, more clearly this time, freezing the Shadowhunter for another reason altogether. “To hide you,” he clarified and Alec blanched at the meaning of his words.

It was as if a cloud had been lifted from his foggy mind and he could see everything from another perspective.

After taking a few breaths, he settled his eyes back on the warlock, _really_ looking at him this time.

And then he could see it. It was actually fairly obvious. The flushed skin, the glistening sweat, the labored breathing – they were all the tell-tale signs of exhaustion – clearly the state Magnus was in right now after all the magic that had been drained from him.

He risked a glance to his side where the hand was resting against the back of the couch and now could see that it was actually trembling slightly in effort to support the warlock’s body weight.

Alec felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

He couldn’t believe he had actually mistaken Magnus’ weakened state for lust.

With eyes tightly shut he selfishly hoped that Magnus was too weak to realize what had been going on inside Alec’s head.

“Alec…” Magnus’ voice forced him to open his eyes again and settle them on the warlock.

“Uh… yeah…” he mumbled, rather uselessly, still quite unable to meet the warlock’s eyes so he traced them from the clouded eyes, to his nose, then shifting them towards his mouth... the parted lips that were emitting warm air… no, that was not the best idea right now. In the end, flustered, he averted them from Magnus’ face altogether, looking at the ceiling.

Right. The ceiling was a safe place to look at.

“Alec…” Magnus spoke again, and though Alec really felt awfully uncomfortable in his own skin right now, the urgency in the warlock’s voice made him look back at him and to finally compose himself to function at least semi-properly.

Magnus now had both of his hands resting against his chest, his body practically in Alec’s lap, but the more Alec observed him, the more settled he felt, his protective instincts winning over. Magnus looked on the brink of collapsing and they were still nowhere near a safe place.

“If I do this, Jace won’t be able to feel you anymore,” Magnus said. “But Aldertree won’t be able to use him to track you down either.”

Alec thought about what Magnus was suggesting.

To be unable to feel his parabatai was something he wished he never would have to experience again. And bringing this fate to Jace, unaware, was horrendous, but they also didn’t have much of a choice.

If Aldertree really put his mind to it, it didn’t seem above him to use Jace as the last resort to track Alec down. And he simply couldn’t put Jace in that kind of danger.

A lump formed in his throat, as he came to a decision. He nodded stiffly. “Okay. Do it.”

He locked his eyes with the warlock, meeting the slight smile of his before he felt the harsh coldness start to seep into his shared bond rune, until only an empty feeling was left.

* * *

 

Leaving the sleeping warlock to rest inside the bedroom, Alec felt himself exhale heavily as he closed the doors behind his back.

After Magnus had finished the job of hiding Alec from being traced down with his parabatai rune, he then proceeded to relocate the loft to a safer location – reasoning that the wards would not do much with his weakened state.

Alec was wary of the idea. Magnus seemed to be getting weaker and weaker by the second but his protests were left unheard, Magnus’ decision already made, making Alec reluctantly agree. He could only watch helplessly how his lover brought his hands up in the air, summoning blue flames of magic to his fingertips.

The moving process was anything but smooth.

Magnus had warned him of the possibility but he didn’t expect anything like that. As soon as the loft was teleported to a new location, Magnus’ eyes had rolled to the back of his head and his body dropped to the ground, Alec catching him just before he could have hit his head.

He thought his heart would leap out of his chest at the sight of Magnus collapsing.

Cradling his lover’s limp body in his arms, Alec continued to breathe heavily for a few moments until his shaken mind thought to check on Magnus’ pulse.

When he was sure that he was only unconscious, he breathed a sigh of relief, but the joy was short lived. The furniture of the loft didn’t seem to quite make it at the same time as the walls itself and were brought inside the building with a definite delay.

The vases, the glass table and all the kitchen plates didn’t quite survive the moving process, while all the other furniture just crashed around the loft, leaving only chaos in its wake.

Alec did his best to avoid the flying stacks of books, cowering for both himself and Magnus while he did so.

The last piece of the furniture – the overhead lamp, which cord had snapped – nearly took them both out, until his Shadowhunter instincts had kicked in and rolled them both out of the way.

Afterwards, Alec lifted Magnus’ body in his arms and took him to his bedroom, settling him in the soft satin sheets. But of course then the issue of whether he should ease Magnus out of his clothing or leave him be as he was just wouldn’t leave Alec’s mind and he spent the better part of the hour just sitting at the edge of the bed, watching the rise and fall of the warlock’s chest while he pondered what would be the most proper thing to do.

He was nearly certain that if he didn’t have that awkward episode earlier, he would have no problem in undressing Magnus. After all, it was not like he hadn’t seen the naked body of his lover before. But now he felt too overly conscious of his own thoughts and he felt it was inappropriate for him to touch Magnus in any way that would consist of him taking the clothes off of him.

Unable to decide, he continued to think about the best course of action he should take and in the end settled onto taking the warlock’s boots and belt off. He pondered about popping the button of his pants, to make Magnus feel more relaxed in his sleep, but as soon as his fingers hovered over the edge of his dark pants, he panicked and snatched his hand away.

Thus he found himself with his head leaned back against the wall by the sliding doors that led to Magnus’ room, taking in deep breaths of air.

After he had calmed his racing heart, Alec called Izzy to brief her about the situation and to gain intel about everything that was happening inside the Institute since he disappeared with Magnus. At first he got an earful from Izzy for making both her and Jace so incredibly worried, without even sharing his plans with them, but he knew that telling anyone about what he was planning would have only gotten everyone in unnecessary danger so he wasn’t regretting his choice but apologized for making them worry.

At the moment, they were discussing the state of the Downworlders’ alliance that they had set out to create, but Izzy had already told him that the Seelies were not interested in taking part, rather they were more eager to make whomever responsible pay. It didn’t help that the Vampires were somehow siding with them also. Alec couldn’t help wondering what the hell Raphael was doing in all of this. Clearly he couldn’t have abandoned Magnus. His anger, which still wasn’t quite settled from catching the vampire sucking blood out of his baby sister, only seemed to increase for him.

“What about Luke’s pack?” he asked, while leaning his shoulder against the wall, arms and legs crossed against each other.

There was a sigh from the other end of the line.

_“After Valentine’s attack, the internal conflict inside his pack seems to have exacerbated. He’s barely able to keep the other werewolves at bay from trying to overthrow him. Alec, I don’t think he’s in any position to help us…”_

“So what you’re saying is, we have no one,” Ale said abruptly, silencing his sister.

When she remained silent, he closed his eyes in frustration.

“Great,” he muttered.

_“Alec, we’ll find a way for you both to come back. I promise.”_

“Yeah,” he agreed, but his fingers kept clenching in a tight fist. He didn’t really believe that.

There was a sound of something hissing, and metal groaning coming from the inside of the bathroom, making Alec trail his eyes towards the room with brows furrowed. “Look, Izzy. I’ll contact you later, okay? Gotta go,” he said into the phone and ended the call before she could speak another word.

He crept by the walls, being careful, in case something did follow them through the portal, then pushed the doors open, the tension leaving his shoulders.

Apparently the hissing sound was coming from the broken faucet, which was leaking a small stream of water through the gap. Pocketing his blade, Alec went for the faucet, thinking he could just shut the thing off, somehow, but as soon as his fingers touched the thing, it seemed to snap under his fingers, leaving a huge gaping hole inside the thing… which spat a noticeably bigger amount of water right into Alec’s face. He sputtered at the initial surprise, reaching out blindly for the source of the stream, his fingers slipping a few times, so the current changed its course – now not only his face was dripping water, but his shirt was quickly becoming soaking wet as well – until he finally managed to cover the gaping hole with his palm.

Too shocked to move, Alec just stood still for a moment, panting loudly, feeling the current dancing against his palm where he had his hand immobilized. His whole frame was soaking wet, he could feel his clothes cling to his body uncomfortably, making him cringe as he shifted on his feet.

He didn’t know how he got himself in this situation, but he was quite certain it must have had something to do with the whole moving process, which already left the rest of the apartment in disarray.

Closing his eyes, Alec tried to calmly find a solution. This wasn’t a life or death situation but he couldn’t exactly let Magnus’ whole apartment flood.

He was so preoccupied in his own thoughts that when he noticed the presence on his left he jumped back in surprise, cursing as the shift of his hand caused him to receive a stream of water right into his face, he felt it drip down his chin and disappear somewhere inside his shirt.

He cringed at the uncomfortable feeling. “Magnus, could you…” he trailed off when his hand slipped a bit. “Shit… can you, can you please stop this?” he pleaded in desperation. He felt like this was such a mundane situation to get in that he couldn’t wait to get out of it as soon as he could. Preferably right now, so he could give his undivided attention to Magnus - who was apparently feeling well enough already to walk - instead of fighting a rather pathetic war with the faucet.

When Magnus didn’t say anything, Alec exhaled in frustration, turning his head towards the warlock. “Magnus-“ he started, his words dying out in his throat.

He didn’t notice it at the first glance, but the rich red button up shirt which Alec had left completely intact on the warlock in his bedroom was now unbuttoned down to the edge of his dark pants, showing off a patch of skin trail from his neck right to the waistband of his trousers. When Alec, conscious of his gaze, shifted his eyes towards the warlock’s face, he found out that the view was not any better there. Or well, _better_ , just not for his sanity.

Magnus’ usually perfectly styled hair was in a state of disarray, giving him a just-out-of-the-bed kind of look, his make up slightly smeared around the edges, giving his eyes an even darker look. All in all – a sinful thing to see, which led to Alec once again slipping his hand from the hole in the faucet, gaining an amused chuckle out of Magnus.

Alec shot him a dirty look.

Apparently the reason why the warlock wasn’t helping him was because he was finding amusement in Alec’s state of distress. “Magnus, a little help here?” he asked, helplessly.

There was a deep sigh coming from Magnus and then a husky reply. “Mm, I’d rather stay here.”

Thrown off by his answer, Alec shifted his eyes towards the warlock, finding his eyes locked onto a part that was definitely lower than his eyes. Alec gulped as he saw Magnus trail his eyes from what he imagined would be his neck, tracing the running droplets of water, to the edge of his shirt and lower where the material clung tightly to his upper body.

Feeling his cheeks heat up against the intense look on Magnus’ face, Alec didn’t quite know how to react. He had already misread the warlock’s signals once and he didn’t feel like he could live down such embarrassement twice in a day.

Despite his doubts, his body had betrayed him and shivered under Magnus’ darkened gaze, feeling his lips part at the sight of Magnus biting on his lower lip while his eyes roamed against Alec’s soaking wet frame.

Alec had to swallow and close his eyes to regain the ability of speech. “Magnus,” he exhaled, finding it a lot harder to remain calm while his heart continued to beat wildly inside his chest.

“Mm?” the warlock asked, not even pretending to feel conscious of the hungry look on his face. The moment he ran his tongue against his lips, Alec nearly lost it right there and only the feel of his hand that still held onto the faucet (and frankly speaking was making his hand go numb already) and the association that the broken faucet had created – the broken loft, the Portal, them running away from the Clave – had made him remember why losing himself to the desire now would be a bad idea.

They were runaways. They had to secure their location, think up of a follow up plan before they could even dream about anything relaxing… or _pleasurable_.

And apparently it was left to Alec to be the voice of reason as Magnus seemed to show no worry about their situation at all, his only concern being how to make Alec feel naked under his watchful rich brown orbs.

“Would you just- stop looking at me like…”

“Like what?” he asked, still making no effort in assisting Alec with the ‘faucet problem’.

 “Like- like you want to eat me!” Alec burst out, desperately holding onto the shred of composure that was still left in him.

“Mm…” Magnus hummed and shifted his body to lean more firmly against the door sill, the change in position causing his shirt to open up more widely. “Now that’s a compelling thought,” he finished in an absolutely sinful voice, Alec had only heard once before in his life, and thinking about _where_ and _when_ he had heard it was just not helping him at all.

He exhaled a shuddering breath, closing his eyes. “Magnus, I… _we_ can’t,” he forced himself to say no matter how much his insides were screaming for him otherwise.

“Of course we can,” Magnus said in return and finally pushed himself off the door sill, purposefully walking towards Alec.

The sight of him walking towards Alec like he was the most desired present in the world made Alec completely lose track of time and space that he only realized his hand was free of the faucet (Magnus finally fixing the thing) when his hand slid along Magnus’ hip, holding him close.

Breathing heavily Alec watched how Magnus’ hand traced his ringed finger along the lines of his chest, circling around the edge of his shirt, going upwards, and finding his pulse point.

Being at the receiving end of Magnus’ ministrations was making it difficult for Alec to think clearly. He hadn’t experienced the warlock being so bold towards him since their earlier days, before they had actually gotten together. So it was a little bit weird. Good, but still a little bit weird. Unusual. Sudden.

Izzy would probably tell him that he was overthinking it, trying to find fault where there was none, but Alec couldn’t help the nagging feeling in his gut that somehow Magnus was behaving way too carefree.

“Uh, Magnus?” he squeaked the words out when he felt Magnus’ tongue slide along Alec’s neck and nearly making him lose all train of thought in the process.

He had no idea how he managed to channel his inner strength after that.

“Don’t you want this?” Magnus whispered in his ear, taking the breath out of Alec.

“I-I do. I _do_ want this. Magnus. But…” he tried to force the words out of his mouth, reasoning that he only needed to say them once and if everything was fine, he could forget about his restraint and just succumb to whatever Magnus had in mind. He swallowed tightly when he felt Magnus’ fingers dancing around the hem of his shirt.

“What, uh… what about the Clave?” he asked, feeling like he had accomplished an achievement, because he had asked, he had tried to be reasonable.

“Mm…” Magnus hummed, not answering him, his mouth leaving traces along his neck, sending shivers down Alec’s spine.

“Magnus,” Alec repeated, urging him to just give him this one answer so that he could relax and finally start participating in this sweet torture himself.

“Forget about the Clave,” Magnus said instead. “They don’t matter.”

Alec then found his face directly before Magnus’, one hand cupping his neck. “Kiss me.”

Eyes blown, gaze unfocused and mouth slightly parted – Magnus was a sight straight from the most seductive dream Alec had ever had, but as much as the sight had aroused him, surprisingly, it also made him see the situation more clearly.

Whatever state Magnus was in, he definitely wasn’t thinking clearly.

He was under some kind of influence, which apparently included ravishing Alec, and while it was flattering, Alec couldn’t take advantage of Magnus like that.

He gulped.

“Magnus… I think, you might be…” he trailed off when Magnus’ lips came dangerously close to his own.

“Hot?” he whispered against Alec’s lips, their lips brushing together.

Alec’s fingers gripped onto Magnus’ hips more fiercely as a means to ground himself.

“T-that too,” he agreed, shakily. “But I think you might be under some kind of influence.”

“I’m not under anyone’s influence,” Magnus disagreed with an offended frown on his forehead like the mere thought of someone managing to take control of him was ridiculous.

“Maybe,” Alec agreed carefully and wrestled with Magnus for a bit until he managed to put the warlock down on his own two feet, a slight space between their bodies, but their hands were still all over each other. “Either way, something is not right with you.”

The frustrated huff that left Magnus provoked a slight smile out of Alec. He could be quite adorable sometimes.

“This will pass,” Magnus said, making his point with a wave of his hand.

Alec furrowed his brows. “What will?”

“This,” Magnus started and somehow managed to once again flush his body against Alec’s, his hands trailing up Alec’s muscled arms. “Inhibition-less state.”

Alec was even more confused now, so it was easier to resist Magnus’ temptation. “Inhibition-less… what- Magnus, what caused this…Oh.”

Suddenly Alec put the two together – Magnus waking up so soon just after he was so low on magic, his intoxicated behavior… apparently being low on magic made the warlocks feel _high_ , or – inhibition-less as Magnus had said.

Alec felt stupid. He should have realized this sooner. No way would Magnus suddenly change himself so drastically in such a short period of time. It might have been the norm for him before their official relationship but ever since they got together, Magnus was behaving a lot more carefully with Alec, giving the Shadowhunter the power to move at the pace he wanted. Which, while touching for Magnus’ concern for him, was frustrating to Alec because that was precisely what he didn’t want Magnus to do – to treat him any different.

But he did, treat him different. And Alec somehow got used to it. Thinking that in time, he could show Magnus that he wasn’t going to break and that it was all right for him to actively participate in their growing relationship – whatever it might entail.

So the change in attitude was refreshing for Alec. He thought that Magnus had finally managed to let himself go, clenching his doubts and whatever insecurities he might have had away. But apparently it was all because he was low on magic.

Clearly he couldn’t even talk with Magnus about the situation properly right now.

He shook his head and composed himself.

He needed to take care of Magnus now. In this state he was more vulnerable than sleeping. Who knows what he would decide to do. It was better to just keep him unconscious. Right.

“Okay, uh. Magnus, I think you should lie down,” he said slowly, and tried to bring them out of the bathroom. It seemed to work as long as he kept hold of Magnus’ hand.

“You should lie down with me,” Magnus suggested, giving him a wink in return, and making Alec stumble slightly on his feet.

“Magnus…” The sound that left Alec was close to a whine, because clearly, no matter how strong his will might be, he wasn’t made of steel. And this wasn’t an object of his forbidden affection anymore. It was his boyfriend whom he felt things for, touched him and just recently confessed his love to – there was no way he could resist him much longer.

“Come on, Alec.”

He was trying to slide his hands around Alec’s waist once again but before he could do that Alec snatched his wrists, holding them captive. “Magnus, no. You’re in no state to make any decisions right now. And you need to rest. Plenty of rest. And maybe after you rest up we can pick this up,” he said, feeling his cheeks darken at the pleased hum coming out of Magnus. “But not now,” he said firmly when Magnus was beginning to squirm against his hold again.

Then he started pouting. Right in Alec’s face, and Alec was starting to pray to the Angels above to give him strength because this was just pure _torture_.

But he knew even the slightest kiss would make him lose control to the point of no return. So he had to keep restraining himself. He simply had to. No matter how impossible it might be.

“Alec, I’m not intoxicated,” Magnus said, making Alec shake his head at him. “Well, I am, but not in that sense.” He rolled his eyes, as if exasperated by Alec’s inability to understand. “Me being low on magic doesn’t make me less able to make decisions. Or walk a straight line.” He made the point by summoning a white line on the floor which he walked down backwards, just to show off.

Alec frowned at him.

“Still-“ Alec protested, but Magnus cut him off with a huff.

“All right. Here.” With a snap of his fingers he had summoned a single arrow, causing Alec to turn over his back as if expecting his bow and quiver to have a missing arrow, and then he flickered his wrist backwards, the arrow flying straight to the bull’s eye at the freshly made score ring.

Alec raised his eyebrow at that, his hands crossed.

At Alec’s impressed but unyielding frame Magnus just rolled his eyes, shrugging his arms to his sides helplessly. “What else do you want me to do to prove to you that I’m perfectly capable of making sane decisions, you stupid Nephilim?” he huffed but there was undeniable fondness in his voice.

Alec felt himself waver, looking at Magnus uncertainly. “Magnus?” he asked, unsure what he expected to get as an answer.

“The High Warlock of Brooklyn, that’s me,” Magnus agreed haughtily. “Now, how long do I have to wait until my boyfriend which I haven’t seen in days finally gets the hint and kisses me?” he asked, his arms falling to his sides. “Clearly I must be out of my element if my seduction failed to work on you,” he muttered to himself, a concerned frown covering his features but Alec caught it nevertheless.

“Wh-what do you mean by ‘seduction’?” he asked, a confused expression on his face.

Magnus only sighed helplessly. “Alexander… Magic or not, there’s no power that can control my mind. I made sure of it with the wards I put on myself. And I’ll always want you,” he finished with a gentle smile and Alec felt his heart constrict, a needy sound escaping his lips.

Unable to restrain himself any longer, and clearly finding no more reason to deny himself what his heart truly desired, Alec closed the gap that separated the two in two long strides and pulled the warlock towards his body, sealing their mouths together.

A pleased sigh escaped Magnus as soon as their lips started moving against each other in a fierce dance. Alec held him close, his hands on the back of Magnus’ neck while the warlock kept his hands around the Shadowhunter’s waist. Magnus kept clutching at the fabric of Alec’s still mostly wet shirt, rucking it up until the cold air hit Alec’s lower back, making him gasp against Magnus lips. He felt Magnus’ hands disappear beneath the damp fabric, his fingers dancing against his heated skin  and couldn’t help pushing himself closer to the warlock in need to feel more of him.

He dragged his lips against the warlock’s until they were not pressed tightly together, just touching slightly and opened his eyes to the rich brown orbs that were staring at him with hunger and need so strong that Alec couldn’t restrain himself for long before surging forward to capture his lips once again.

The more worked up they got, the clearer it had become to Alec that his wet shirt had to go, doing more damage than good right now. Suddenly leaning back, he got Magnus confused, trying to follow the disappearing lips and body and made him open his eyes only to be met with an eyeful of Alec’s naked torso before his eyes, the damp shirt unceremoniously chucked somewhere behind the Shadowhunter’s back.

Magnus hummed in appreciation bringing his hands against the firm frame of Alec’s upper body, watching how the Shadowhunter’s eyes fluttered close at the feel of Magnus hands on him, mouth parted.

He was absolutely delicious and Magnus didn’t dwell in denying himself the feel of his lover. He reached out towards Alec’s runed neck and pulled him towards him as he pushed himself on his toes to reach Alec’s lips faster.

Feeling Alec’s naked skin against him was a blessing and a curse, mainly because he himself was still pretty much fully-clothed, the gap in his shirt teasing them both rather than giving any sort of satisfaction.

Alec seemed to be thinking the same if the low growl and fingers against his hips that were pushing him forward towards Alec’s body was any indication. It all seemed to be too much and not nearly enough at the same time but instead of taking care of the situation and taking Magnus’ shirt out of the way, Alec detached his lips from Magnus’ swollen ones and brought his mouth towards the exposed skin of his neck, sucking on it, reveling in the sounds he was eliciting out of Magnus.

Somewhere along their make out session, Alec managed to steer them away from being in the middle of the room towards the nearest wall, which proved to be a perfect surface to get Magnus pinned against Alec’s body.

Magnus’ breath hitched when Alec brought his hands on the back of the warlock’s thighs, hoisting him up, which allowed him to wrap his legs around Alec’s back while the Shadowhunter settled between them.

The new position worked perfectly to bring their bodies even closer together and at the first friction of Alec’s hips, Magnus groaned loudly, his fingers traveling from the Shadowhunter’s shoulders to his hair, which he yanked harshly to bring his mouth back to Alec’s, swallowing his gasp.

Their tongues continued to dance together while Alec kept grinding their hips together, pushing Magnus harder against the wall, his one hand resting against it for balance.

The one hand that was not gripping tightly onto Alec’s dark locks, kept shifting from tracing the patterns all over his lover’s back to the back of his neck, where his fingers itched to do something to make Alec go wild. And at one particularly delicious friction, Magnus lost control for a single second to do precisely that - sending a spark of magic straight towards Alec’s spine.

His body jerked at once, their locked lips falling apart, as Alec gasped out at the intensity of the feeling. A series of tremors passed down his body while he continued to take in big gulps of air. “Magnus, what…”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus said at once, a crease forming in his features. “I lost control. I’m so sorry.”

He cursed himself. Wanting to do something was not the same as actually _doing_ it. He couldn’t believe he lost control like that. He only wished Alec wouldn’t stop this, whatever they have started, scared off.

Alec was still breathing heavily but then gulped and spoke again. “Do it again.”

The intensity and the meaning of Alec’s word made Magnus’ whole body shudder in raw want and the next second he had the Shadowhunter back at his mouth, his fingers dancing teasingly around the croak of Alec’s shoulders and then the back of his neck until they slid down Alec’s spine, a series of small sparks of magic leaving a trail in its wake.

Alec whined at the feel of Magnus’ magic, reveling in the new feeling and he rewarded the warlock with a hard thrust of his hips and scorchingly hot lips latched against his neck.

“Magnus…”

The sound of Alec’s completely wrecked voice and the tremors of his body together with the heat on his neck soon proved to be too much for the warlock and he found himself closing in on the crescendo. As one particular spot against his neck made him throw his head back with a low moan, he settled his fingers against Alec’s back, and pushed a significantly bigger amount of magic from his fingertips straight towards the Shadowhunter’s spine, causing Alec to buck his hips sharply against the warlock, shuddering violently.

The intense reaction provoked a whine from Magnus’ mouth, which he stifled by burying his face inside the crook of Alec’s shoulder.

Both only continued to stand there for a moment – limbs interlocked together – while they caught their breaths. They held onto each other tightly, brushing soothing strokes against the part of the body each could reach. When their racing hearts seemed to finally settle back down to a regular beat, Alec pulled his head back from where he had it buried in Magnus’ shoulder and locked their eyes together, both gauging each other’s reaction.

At Magnus’ slow, satisfied smirk, Alec brought his lips against the warlock’s, brushing their lips against each other lazily. No rush. No intent. Simply a caress.

With that mood in mind, they both settled underneath the covers, void of any dirty clothes, and snuggled against each other while they waited for the next day to dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well since it kept bothering me, I upped the rating. I feel safer in this new 'skin' right now lol
> 
> Would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter!


	7. The decisions we make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has to account for the decisions they have made. The relationships are being tested.

He couldn’t look away.

He wished himself to wake up from this nightmare, thrashing against the binding hands that held him in place, forcing him to watch everything unfold.

He couldn’t accept the fact that there was nothing he could do but watch. He had the strength of the Angels, their blood running through his veins, and still, for some reason he couldn’t do a damn thing to save the ones he loved.

He could do nothing but beg for the time to stop and give him another chance.

To give him more time.

Because he failed this. He failed and now others were paying the price.

The fear in his stomach was making him sick, and if he weren’t already put down on his knees, he would have slumped on the ground himself, unable to feel the strength in his legs as he watched the light catching on the silver surface, making his erratic breathing come to a sudden halt.

It was naïve to think that once he chose Magnus, everything else would figure itself out on their own. The world was still against them. And now the world was taking him away from Alec.

Time seemed to move in a slow motion as Aldertree’s Seraph blade was lifted and brought towards Magnus, Alec screaming out his name just as the blade drew close to Magnus’ bared neck.

* * *

 

_A few hours earlier…_

He woke up with a start.

His breathing was ragged and he could feel a trace of sweat on his forehead.

At first he felt disoriented, a moment of panic taking him over until his fingers twitched and he was met with warm smooth skin.

The cloud in his eyes slowly dissipated, letting him clearly see the warm body he had been snuggling throughout the night.

He swallowed the lump in his throat at the sight.

Magnus was laying on his side, facing Alec’s bare chest, their legs entwined together.

Still deep asleep.

Now that he was feeling more awake, Alec could also feel the steady puffs of air prickling his skin as the warlock continued to breathe enveloped in the warm embrace of his lover.

Alec felt his arms involuntary tighten their hold at the sight.

He imagined waking up early in the morning with a warm body pressed tightly against his own, how the first conscious breath he took would be of exotic spice and something indescribable, magical, and so undeniably Magnus. He imagined it so many times, but never quite stayed to experience it. There was always a mission, a problem to solve when he would have to sneak out in the middle of the night, before their bodies could even make their way around each other, unconsciously throughout the night.

He imagined it more often throughout the time of their separation, when the mere thought of Magnus would bring a burning ache in his heart.

The need of such intimacy was foreign to him, more alien than desire or even lust, but he craved to have it with Magnus with everything he had.

Influenced by the sudden emotion, he lifted the hand which was covering Magnus’ frame, to brush his fingers against the smooth skin of the warlock’s arm, basking in the sheer intimacy that he was finally allowed to have, and then brought his palm to cup Magnus’ cheek, brushing the skin with his thumb. He swallowed as his eyes trailed down towards the plump lips.

He wanted to kiss him.

He wondered if Magnus would be against getting woken up by such bold gesture.

He wondered if Magnus wouldn’t think him creepy if he did.

He wasn’t sure if touching was allowed when the other person was asleep. Maybe he had already overstepped his boundaries? Though he did feel Magnus there when he was in the coma, lost between the worlds while in search of his parabatai.

His forehead wrinkled in thought.

“What’re you thinking so loudly about?” Magnus hoarse voice made him nearly jump out of his skin from the suddenness of it. Immediately he retracted his hand, feeling awkward about it now.

“Magnus,” he said, blinking at the deep browns that were watching him curiously. “You’re awake,” he added, rather unnecessarily.

He could feel the mirth coming off Magnus’ whole body as the warlock chuckled at him. “Have been for a while,” he said with a hidden smirk which made Alec’s face flush from the implication.

Right. So Magnus had felt Alec exploring his body while he was supposedly asleep. Great. How was he supposed to explain that?

_I wanted to kiss you._

Right. Like he could say that. He was pretty sure kissing had to be done in certain moments. There had to be occasions for it when both parties were present. Him creeping on Magnus’ sleeping form probably wasn’t that much appealing.

Still too preoccupied in his own inner monologue, Alec almost missed the timing when suddenly Magnus’ body shifted that much closer to his own – palm spread out against his erratically beating heart – when he suddenly felt smooth, soft lips pressed against his own, making his eyes flutter close at the joint contact.

The kiss was slow and tender, not anywhere near the passionate and need-filled ones they had the previous night, but it was also what they both seemed to need right now. Simple comfort and reassurance of them both being there.

It ended before it could go any deeper, but it still managed to take Alec’s breath away, eliciting a beautiful satisfied grin from Magnus.

It took him a few moments to clear the fog out of his mind as Magnus stretched in the bed, their shared blanket pooling low against his hips – appearing seductive without even trying.

It was a wonder how Alec managed to keep his voice steady after that. “I guess we should, uh, get up… right now?” he asked, keeping his face neutral. The smirk Magnus threw at him over his shoulder told him he was fooling no one. Still, he refused to let it show.

Magnus bent down, the blanket shifting even more and giving an eyeful and a heart attack to Alec before the warlock finally fished out his underwear and stood up, going for the wardrobe to take his silky dressing gown. He turned around, facing Alec as he adjusted the fitting rope against his waist.

“I think you should stay in bed a little while longer,” he said rather casually, gaining a raise of Alec’s eyebrow in return. “How about you stay here, and let me make you breakfast? Sound good?”

“Make?” Alec asked. “You don’t mean like magically summoning breakfast from the faraway restaurant?”

“Alexander, being centuries old as I am, I think I can be considered a decent cook. Don’t you trust me?” he asked with a seriousness in his voice though Alec knew he was only being playful with him.

Alec couldn’t help beaming at him with a shake of his head. “I do trust you, Magnus,” he said while looking Magnus in the eyes, gaining a satisfied tilt of his head in return. “As long as you didn’t take cooking lessons together with Izzy.”

Both Magnus and Alec laughed at that. “I promise I won’t tell her you said that.”

“Please don’t.”

Magnus was just about to disappear through the doors when with a sudden change of mind he walked back inside the room, and took Alec’s mouth for one more passionate kiss, which left Alec panting for breath once it ended.

“Magnus…”

“I can’t seem to get enough of you, Alexander,” the warlock breathed out against the shadowhunter’s lips and with one more peck released the stunned Alec, walking out of the room with a swing in his steps.

* * *

 

Back in the Institute Clary and Simon were the first ones to get to their secret meeting place after getting a sudden message from Izzy. They stayed sitting close side by side, their fingers entwined together as they took strength from each other. With all the madness going around them, to each other they were the only constant ones, and with Aldertree’s occasional mood swings to banish all the Downworlders from the Institute, there was no telling when they would have another chance to see each other again.

They pressed their foreheads together, Simon whispering. “I really wish this would all just end finally so I could take you on a normal date.”

Clary chuckled by his side, smiling warmly. “Me too. I’d really like that.”

“Yeah?” Simon asked, lifting his head to look Clary in the eyes. She answered him by sealing their mouths together. They soon had to part, though, when they felt another presence in the room.

There was a clearing of the throat, before the new arrival spoke. “Hey. Sorry to interrupt.”

“Jace…” Clary breathed out, feeling herself shift a little from the close embrace with Simon until she stopped herself, chiding herself for her behavior. Simon was her boyfriend. It was no crime to show affection to him in public. She felt Simon’s reassuring hand on her lower back and willed herself to relax into the touch.

“Did Izzy tell you anything about why we’re here?” Jace asked, hands crossed, and while his face appeared neutral, he seemed to not be able to make eye contact with Clary. She couldn’t help feeling a little bit hurt by that.

Simon took it upon himself to answer instead. “We don’t know anything. She just texted us to come and here we’re.”

Jace nodded.

“And here you are,” the sudden voice that boomed from the entrance made everyone in the room jump back in dread because right at the entrance of their secret meeting place stood the Head of the Institute with the most wicked grin on his face.

Clary and Simon were soon on their feet, their postures tense, while Jace’s fingers kept twitching towards his side where he had his weapon. He knew he couldn’t use it but somehow it made him feel more reassured that he was not unarmed.

Then to their utter astonishment, Aldertree chuckled at everyone with a warm smile on his face. “Should’ve seen your faces,” he said and then brought his one arm out, wrist up, only to bring a stele with the other one, the glamour taking off.

The long dark curls bounced as she shook her head at the stunned trio.

“Izzy?!” Jace hissed at his sister, his erratic heart slowing down to a regular beating.

“Sorry, it was too good a chance to pass,” she said with a smirk, and threw Clary a wink, sharing a knowing look with her.

“This is not the time for games, Izzy,” Jace said, no humour in his voice. “Alec is-“

“I know,” Isabelle said, interrupting Jace. “That’s why I brought you all here.”

That took everyone’s attention.

“Meliorn has contacted me,” she said, shocking everyone in the room. “He’s willing to meet.”

* * *

 

It was a strange feeling to just continue laying there.

He kept twitching. Restless.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had let himself relax like that. Probably because there was simply no such occasion in his miserable life.

A long and heavy sigh escaped his mouth.

Even now, while one part of him wanted to listen to Magnus and just take what he was being given, another, a much bigger part of him was begging him to get up and just start moving. To just start doing something. Anything.

He didn’t want to disappoint Magnus without even making some kind of effort on his part, so he tried a few breathing exercises to calm himself down, but when that failed he couldn’t stop himself from swinging his legs out of the bed in search of his clothes which were scattered all around the room.

The smell that greeted him once he opened the sliding doors, was divine, and it made Alec wonder why did they ever bother ordering take out if Magnus, apparently, had a whole other set of skills to show.

From the knowing smile on Magnus’ lips, he knew that the warlock was aware of his presence so he didn’t bother to announce himself and just came up behind him, looking over Magnus’ shoulder towards the pan.

He kept his hands behind his own back, just in case. He had witnessed too many disasters in the kitchen to not know the dangers of it.

“Smells amazing,” Alec commented, hoping there was a way to relay the message to the warlock of how impressed he was by him. “What is that?”

Magnus’ lips quirked up. “One of my special recipes. Though not as delicious as the desert,” he whispered the last sentence against the shell of Alec’s ear which made him gulp and shiver. Alec blinked down to Magnus’ wicked grin, and without thinking bent down to capture those sinful lips for a chaste kiss. “I’m sure,” he agreed, voice hoarse, not that certain to which part was he agreeing to.

Magnus was just about to retort something which Alec was sure would have made him blush a different shades of pink before his phone went off, making him jump back a little. Magnus leaned away from Alec with a smile. “Take it. It could be Isabelle.”

“Yeah…” Alec trailed off, and soon enough found out that it was, indeed, his sister calling. “Izzy? What’s going on?”

Magnus felt how Alec came to sit by the table while the warlock turned back towards the food at hand. He didn’t make a habit of cooking, but he wanted to make it special for Alec, so he was putting it his all. Though as the voice of his shadowhunter started to get more and more filled with restlessness he wondered if their peaceful morning was coming to an end.

“You sure they can be trusted?” Alec asked into the phone. Something in his voice told Magnus that he didn’t really believe that.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Izzy,” he then said with a sigh and Magnus decided to bring his cooking to a pause. He turned the heat off and put a preserving cloak on the food.

When he  sat down by Alec’s side, he could see the conflicted expression on Alec’s face. “Izzy, I can’t-I won’t risk…” he started to say, jumping back when Magnus’ hand on his arm made him realize that he was not alone in the room.

He swallowed tightly while looking at Magnus. “I…I’ll call you back, Iz,” he said in the phone, then his eyes darted down. “Okay. Yeah. You too. Bye.”

The energy seemed to have been swept out of Alec as soon as the call ended. His eyes shone with concern and his hair was in disarray from the nervous tugging he must have done while Magnus wasn’t aware.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked, concern written all over his face, making Alec’s heart clench even more. “Alec, talk to me.”

Alec closed his eyes, gathering his strength and then told him all he heard from Izzy about the secret meeting Seelies had arranged for them. Magnus didn’t say anything, just continued to listen until Alec was done.

Alec ran a hand thorough his hair in frustration. “If Aldertree didn’t put them all under lockdown, they could have gone to that meeting but now the only ones left to go are-“

“-Us,” Magnus ended for him with a small smile.

“I don’t want to risk it, Magnus. What if we run into someone from the Institute?”

“And if we don’t go to this meeting?”

Alec darted his eyes downwards. “Then we lose any chance of making an alliance with the Seelies,” he said in resignation.

“And a chance of you ever seeing your family again,” Magnus added, gaining a startled look from Alec. Magnus gave him an understanding smile. “Just because we’re on a run now, doesn’t mean we’re going to be forever. If there’s a chance to get out of this with political means, we should take it. I don’t wish to take your family away from you, Alexander.”

“Magnus, I chose you-“ Alec started to protest, before Magnus cut him off with a hand.

“I know, I know you did. But what about five years, ten years from now? Are you really prepared to be stuck with me, forever watching over your shoulder? I don’t want for you to come to hate me.”

The vulnerability in Magnus’ voice made something shift inside him, an unpleasant feeling which he felt while witnessing Magnus’ pain. Taking Magnus’ hand in his own, Alec locked their eyes together.  “Magnus, I would never hate you. I could never. I love you.”

Magnus smiled at him, though sadly. “Can you promise me you don’t want to go to this meeting? That there isn’t a part of you that wants to go?”

“Magnus…”

“Just tell me you don’t want to go, and we won’t have to talk about it again.”

He wished he could.

With every fiber of his being he wished he could say that, because the alternative was just insane. To put both Magnus and himself in such danger just because of his selfish reasons? He was appalled to learn that about himself. That he could want that.

After everything he sacrificed just to get Magnus out of danger…

He didn’t deserve him.

He felt fingers against his chin, which had lowered down with his darkening thoughts. “Alec, don’t belittle yourself. Whatever is your choice, I’m going to stand by your side. Just as you stood by mine. We’ll do this together. Mm?”

Swallowing, Alec nodded stiffly. “Okay. I, uh…” He exhaled shakily. “Yeah, let’s do this. Let’s go meet the Seelies.”

He took strength from their joined hands, hoping it was enough for them both to make it out safely.

* * *

 

Watching over his shoulder constantly seem to have started become a habit for Jace, which he wasn’t too excited to have gained, but he couldn’t just do nothing.

Ever since Aldertree had put them all on the lockdown, Jace was frantic to find a way to help Alec out somehow. He couldn’t help feeling responsible for making both Magnus and his brother fugitives and with their parabatai rune deactivated he felt that much more helpless.

That’s why as soon as he found an opportunity to sneak into Aldertree’s office while the head of the Institute was out, he took it.

He would take any risk for his brother.

If the meeting with the Seelies wouldn’t work out, he could at least find the recording material which Aldertree had hidden away from the authorities and finally make the man pay for all the pain he had brought to his family and friends.

He opened yet another drawer only to come empty handed.

_Where the hell did he put them?_

With a frustrated growl, he slammed the drawer close.

He ran a hand through his blonde hair, agitated.

Just then something passed by Aldertree’s office doors and Jace had a split-second decision to make to dash into the corner just as the doors opened up.

He held his breath, fearing Aldertree had come back only to be met with a head of red hair in his line of vision.

He came out of his hiding place with a frown. “Clary? What’re you doing here?”

Clary jumped back in shock at seeing the blonde here, her hand curling around her blade before settling down. “Jace! What’re…” she trailed off, her eyes darting towards a sheet of paper in the shadowhunter’s hand.

Before she could get out anything more out of him, Jace stalked towards her, grabbing her on the shoulders and turned her around in hopes to get her out of there. “You have to go,” he said harshly.

“What, no. Jace, would you just-Stop it!” She struggled against his grip, only managing to get out of Jace’s hands once they were both outside the office. They both looked around, checking the perimeter, before looking back at each other.

“If you’re planning on putting down Aldertree, I can’t let you do it alone. I want in,” she said stubbornly, a pained frown forming on Jace’s forehead.

“You can’t, Clary. This is something I have to do alone.” He swallowed, then continued, “For my family.”

Clary took a step towards him. “Mine is the same reason. I want to help you, Jace. As your family.”

Jace just shook his head.

“Why won’t you let me help you?” Clary asked, her voice cracking a little at the end in hopelessness. “I have been trying to reach out to you, but you just won’t let me, Jace. I need you,” she said, while looking him straight in the eyes and Jace felt something cracking in him. “You’re my family. The only one I have left now, really,” she chocked on a watery laugh. “Don’t push me away. Please.”

She was so close to him, only a step away and if that wasn’t enough, she took that remaining step towards him, taking his hand in hers. “Please, let me help you, Jace.”

Her skin against his own, combined together with her pleading voice - at one point it was all becoming too much and he just could’t do it anymore. Being held by the girl he loved with the pretense of a familial touch, he couldn’t help the rush of disgust that ran throughout his whole body.

He pushed her away, harshly. “Clary, stop.”

“Why? Why should I stop? Why do you keep pushing me away?” she kept asking while close to tears, and he didn’t realize how he burst out, unable to hold back any longer.

“Because you’re not my sister!”

There was a dead silence after that.

Clary stood there, frozen in one spot, blinking the last tear away, while Jace could only watch in horror at what he had done. “Wh-what do you mean by that?” she asked, unsure, but voice determined to get the answer out of Jace.

The fight just left Jace back then.

He felt his shoulders slump back, he sighed. “You’re not my sister, Clary,” he repeated more gently this time. “You never were. Valentine has lied to us both.”

Clary just kept shaking her head. “No… no, why would he do that? That just doesn’t make sense…Come on,  Jace. You don’t actually believe that… do you?”

She was so hopeful, looking at him like he would miraculously make it all okay. But he knew he was far from it. It could never be okay again. “He had the Soul Sword in his hand while he told me,” he only said, shattering the remaining light out of Clary’s eyes.

“No…”

He watched how the girl before his eyes, the strong, always fighting against the injustice no matter the challenges girl, crumbled before his very eyes, leaving only but an equally lost as himself, scarred soul.

“I…” Her voice caught in her throat a few times she tried to speak.

When he finally got the courage to reach out for her, she recoiled at his touch, taking step after step backwards. “I think… I need to be alone right now.”

And with that she left Jace standing alone with the consequences of the split-second decision he had made.

* * *

 

The meeting place with the Seelies happened to be somewhere in the middle of the thick, dark forest, where the ruins of an abandoned shrine rested at.

It wasn‘t much of a surprise.

They stood just outside the entrance of the ruins, Alec gripping onto his quiver for support. Somehow he didn‘t feel that strongly about idea anymore. The place was covered with bindweeds, making it look more like a hermit‘s place than a historical Seelies sanctuary.

Magnus, feeling his concern, rested his hand against Alec‘s tightly clenched fist. “Hey, it‘s going to be all right.“

Alec exhaled a long shaky breath.

He wanted to believe Magnus. He really did but something was telling him that he shouldn‘t go any further. Still, he hesitated. And that hesitation cost him his choice, as he watched Magnus parting the curtains of the bindweeds and disappearing inside the dark shrine, leaving Alec no choice but to hurry up after him.

“Magnus, hold on.“

The whole place was humid and dark except for a few torches lit up in the corners, doing nothing much besides creating disturbing shadows around the place. Pulling his sleeve up, Alec took his stele to burn the night vision onto his wrist and enhanced hearing alongside it. He gritted his teeth at the initial pain and then blinked a few times to adjust to the change in his eyes.

The place felt... abandoned, which was probably to be expected from a historical shrine. Surprisingly it had a few tables with old utensils – probably used for offerings in the rituals.

He scanned the area but found nothing of much interest besides centuries old walls and dark corridors. He heard movement further ahead and followed that sound, hoping to catch up with Magnus.

He took the few steps upwards, following the walls of the narrow hallway when he heard the sound of something clattering which followed by the distinct sound of force, which Alec quickly recognized for what it was.

Magic.

Magnus‘ magic.

He sprinted the last distance at full speed, his heartbeat increasing with every corner until he finally saw the illuminated room just a few meters ahead. He closed the last distance only to be met with a sight of Magnus surrounded by dozen of shax demons.

Magnus seemed to be in control – scorching the demons with the balls of magic, but the number of them seemed to not decrease at all. When a movement from Alec‘s right caught his attention, Alec quickly took his bow out, shooting the arrow straight at the demon before it could reach Magnus in the back.

Finally sensing Alec‘s presence, Magnus seemed to feel a little bit relieved but the joy was short lived when he narrowly missed two demons charging at him from his side.

Alec kept shooting at each one of them as he made his way towards Magnus. He didn‘t stop until his back was pressed against the warlock‘s, both covering each other‘s backs.

“What‘s going on here? Where is Meliorn?“ Alec asked as he kept shooting the arrows at the demons that seemed to just have no end to them.

Magnus huffed in frustration. “I don‘t know. He wasn‘t here.“

“What?“ Alec asked, confused and worked up, adrenaline running through his veins.

When another batch of the demons‘ eyes shone brightly from the entrance of the hallway across of the room they were in, Magnus growled in frustration, sending a wave of magic towards the upcoming team, knocking them down.

“I‘m going to try to take them all down at once,“ Magnus said. “Cover for me for a minute.“

Alec nodded and took his Seraph blade out, taking three demons in one swing.

It left him panting and the demons increasing in numbers.

He took swing after swing, occasionally abandoning his blade to shoot above Magnus‘ head, until coming back to close range combat.

He hadn‘t seen this number of shax demons in one place for ages. If ever.

Something wasn‘t adding up here, but the fight was taking up most of his rational thoughts, making him unable to truly analyze the situation.

He felt sore with sweat running down his temple by the time Magnus finally brought his hands up in the air, a blast of intense amount of magic pushing right though his bones and making every visible demon disintegrate into dust.

He stumbled slightly on his feet, knowing that it took Magnus so much time to gather his magic because he was with Alec and he needed to make the spell work only against a specific demonic kind, leaving Alec out of it.

Alec refused to feel sorry for himself.

He turned over his shoulder to watch an equally exhausted Magnus, sway on his feet. In two long strides, Alec reached him, steadying him. “You okay?“ he asked.

Magnus nodded, but his grim expression didn‘t change.

“The Seelies have betrayed us.“

* * *

 

Watching the digital screen with her eyes unseeing, Isabelle couldn’t stop her thoughts from straying away towards her brother and Magnus. She wondered if the meeting went well. If the internal war could finally be put to an end.

She missed Alec.

Her hand went up to massage the back of her neck. She was feeling a lot better now, but still not quite back to full health. She’d get stiff fast, and had to take frequent breaks.

Knowing she couldn’t do much good without it, she closed the window she had opened and stepped away from the screen. She was just about to go to Jace, maybe he had heard anything from Alec, when she was stopped by a familiar voice.

“Isabelle.”

She turned around and was shocked to see the Seelie before her eyes. “Meliorn? What’re you…” she trailed off, closing the gap that separated them. Just when she was a breath’s away from him, she looked around to make sure nobody was listening. “What’re you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be meeting Alec?”

The raise of eyebrow coming from him, did nothing to reassure her.

“I believe I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said carefully.

The dark haired shadowhunter huffed. “Don’t play games with me. You believe, or you don’t know about the meeting that you’ve arranged, Meliorn?”

There was a moment of pause before the Seelie spoke. “I did not arrange a meeting with Alec or anyone else except Aldertree.” The words that pulled dread deep down towards the pit of Isabelle’s stomach.

“Oh my God,” she breathed out, hand covering her mouth.

She turned to walk away before the Seelie could even hope to get her attention, and though he waited, neither her nor Aldertree came to meet him.

With a frown he was just about to leave the Institute when the blazing red alert put the Institute in chaos.

* * *

 

“We have to go,” Alec said, not even bothering to hide the urgency in his voice.

It had been a trap.

The bad feeling he had in his gut about this place, had been right.

He should have listened to it.

Shaking his head out of the self-loathing thoughts to take care of the matters at hand first, he adjusted his grip on Magnus, holding him pressed close to himself.

He couldn’t help casting worried glances at the panting warlock.

He hadn’t been at his full capacity yet.

He didn’t manage to get his magic fully back and Alec already took him out to this dangerous place.

Good thing they had managed to finish it without much damage except for utter exhaustion but now he wasn’t sure how they were going to get back to their place. Surely Magnus didn’t seem in shape to create a portal for them.

Unless they used one of those half portals…

Alec squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

Could he even do that so frequently? Draining himself completely? But did they have any other choice? What was the right choice now? Alec had to think of a safest way to bring Magnus back to the loft.

They slumped down the few dimly lit corridors, passing down the ritual room, so close to the exit, he could see the bindweeds in the distance.

Magnus groaned when Alec had to readjust him in his grip once again. “Almost there,” he whispered to the warlock, voice filled with worry but he tried to add some reassurence in it. He hoped to give some of his strength to Magnus.

Magnus’ body shook a little and it took a while for Alec to realize that he must be laughing quietly. “You keep saving me, my tall and handsome knight in a leather armor.”

Alec rolled his eyes at that. “You’re delirious.”

“High on… you,” Magnus gasped the last words out, though still managing to sound alluring. Alec couldn’t understand how he managed that. Clearly if Alec had been in his position, he would sound like an old rusty truck – anything sort of seductive.

What seemed like years later, finally Alec grabbed blindly onto the curtain of the bindweeds, parting them open, the sudden light blinding him as they stumbled outside.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Magnus was then wrenched away from his arms, both of his clasped behind his back. He called out Magnus’ name, watching how a pair of shadowhunters held the warlock in their hold.

Alec struggled against his captors, twisting, trashing and kicking – until he managed to get free, knocking the two shadowhunters down and the third that ran right at him from the side. He glanced at where Magnus had managed to knock his own captors with the last bit of his magic, but it cost him his last reserves of energy and he now rested on the ground on his knees, with his palms holding his whole weight on his trembling arms.

Alec was just about to go to him, looking around for any upcoming shadowhunters, when suddenly he felt an electric shock run through his back. He groaned at the impact, slumping on the ground.

He felt his vision swim, unable to focus.

He dug his fingers in the ground, forcing them to bend to press his nails into his palms until it drew blood, hoping the pain to bring his consciousness back to him.

“Let go… of me…”

He heard the familiar voice from his side, lifting his head to watch how another pair of shadowhunters were holding Magnus’ hands behind his back just as another threw some kind of pouch onto Magnus. The content of it spattered all over Magnus frame. First it seemed to be golden dust but then it took on an electric charge, slowly taking form. Before Alec or Magnus could stop it, the dust took the appearance of golden chains, twining round the warlock’s frame until they ended with a clasp on Magnus’ hands.

Magnus tried to struggle but it only provoked a gasp out of him, forcing him to grit his teeth from the sudden pain.

“Magnus!” Alec yelled out as he finally found strength to push his knees up on the dirty ground. He felt another shadowhunter’s presence looming over him and twisted around, bringing the said shadowhunter down, holding his neck between his arms until he slumped, unconscious.

When another one tried to sneak up upon him, Alec tackled him on the ground before he could bring him down, moving like a wild animal – bringing more force than tactic.

He refused to give up.

They finally had found each other.

They finally started living their lives together.

_He refused to give up Magnus._

With a battle cry he lunged towards another shadowhunter, knocking the weapon out of his hands, just as he felt an intense electric shock run through his back.

He gasped, his eyes watering, but still refused to let go of the fabric of the shadowhunter’s armor.

Soon enough he got another spark of electrical shock and felt his legs give out to him.

He heaved, coughing on air as his whole body throbbed, feeling sore all over the place.

Suddenly with a ripping sound a portal appeared in Alec’s line of vision and out of it stepped the sight of his nightmares.

Aldertree.

Aldertree was here and he was quickly making his way towards Magnus.

“No…” Alec tried to push strength in his legs but only got kicked onto the ground, feeling how his hands were bound with metal shackles on his back. He was then brought back to his knees, two pair of hands holding him in place as he watched everything unfold.

With the rough hand of Aldertree, Magnus was brought down to his knees, a wicked grin plastered on the shadowhunter’s face.

“Let him go!” Alec tried to struggle but it was mostly in vain. “Aldertree, you know he’s innocent.” He had to take a few breaths before he could continue. “If you hurt him…. you’d be committing treason.”

The man only tsked at him. “That’s an old song to play, don’t you think so, Alec?”

The unfeeling look he threw at Alec made something cold sweep at the pit of his stomach.

_Dread._

“You have disobeyed me, Alec,” he spoke again. “Now I’m going to make you watch him die.”

The stab that he felt at hearing the words, got him gasping for breath but he struggled to talk over his own pain. “Al…Aldertree, you can’t! You- don’t-“

“This is all for the greater good. With Magnus Bane’s sacrifice, we get to prevent the war that would destroy us all. I can’t let you obstruct justice any longer.” He then turned around to whisper something to one of the shadowhunters by his side, the other one nodding, before the man brought his hand against Magnus’ dark locks, yanking onto them sharply and pulling his neck to the side.

_Alec has never been more terrified in his life._

He couldn’t look away.

He wished himself to wake up from this nightmare, thrashing against the binding hands that held him in place, forcing him to watch everything unfold.

He couldn’t accept the fact that there was nothing he could do but watch. He had the strength of the Angels, their blood running through his veins, and still, for some reason he couldn’t do a damn thing to save the ones he loved.

He could do nothing but beg for the time to stop and give him another chance.

To give him more time.

Because he failed this. He failed and now others were paying the price.

The fear in his stomach was making him sick, and if he weren’t already put down on his knees, he would have slumped on the ground himself, unable to feel the strength in his legs as he watched the light catching on the silver surface, making his erratic breathing come to a sudden halt.

It was naïve to think that once he chose Magnus, everything else would figure itself out on their own. The world was still against them. And now the world was taking him away from Alec.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as Aldertree’s Seraph blade was lifted and brought towards Magnus, Alec screaming out his name just as the blade drew close to Magnus’ bared neck.

He wasn’t sure if he blacked out then or if the world just decided to end, because clearly for him it had ended, but the next moment he got his vision and hearing back, he saw the same shadowhunters who were previously torturing him and Magnus, flying around one by one, by another batch of shadowhunters which seemed to come out of nowhere… no, wait. There was a new portal open from which groups of shadowhunters were storming in, immobilizing the other ones, and the man leading them all was none other but Robert Lightwood.

“Mr. Lightwood,” Aldertree stalked towards Alec’s father, fury in his eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I should be the one asking that question of you, Aldertree,” Robert spat the words out harshly, making Alec feel proud of him in that moment. “Leading unofficial arrests while using brutal force,  illegal weapon use and helping the mastermind criminal escape from their captivity are crimes of high treason.”

The man frowned at him, refusing to back down. “My arrests were approved by the Clave, as for the criminal which you think I have helped escape – I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Valentine Morgenstern,” Robert said. “As of this morning, the man has escaped his captivity and we have evidence you were the last person seen talking with him.”

“What?” Aldertree gasped out, eyes wide. “I-I didn’t- that’s false accusations-“

“Like you put on Magnus Bane?” Robert asked coldly. “The Clave has revised your submitted charges and pardoned Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brooklyn of any crimes.” He then took a deep breath in. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood included.”

If Alec wasn’t already on the ground, he would have dropped then.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Alec gasped on his breath, watching everything unfold with wide eyes until he felt a gentle presence on his hands, taking the shackles off of him. He could hear his father place an arrest order on Aldertree somewhere in the distance but he couldn’t care about anything else in that moment except for one thing.

His eyes found the glazed ones, which locked onto his just at the same time.

He forced himself to move, refusing the helping hand from a fellow shadowhunter and just stumbled towards his one goal, dropping to his knees when he finally reached the warlock and just wound his arms around him, clutching onto him with everything he had.

Despite being even weaker than Alec, Magnus put equal strength in holding on the shadowhunter tightly, burying his nose in the crook of Alec’s neck.

Two bodies continued to tremble as they both held onto each other for dear life.

“It’s over. It’s finally over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooo incredibly sorry for the long wait. I hope this chapter had made up for it and you'll join me in the next chapter, which is going to be an Epilogue of this story - mostly me putting the loose ends together. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all your support. Hope to see your thoughts on this chapter also. Cheers.


	8. Those We Fight For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Issues are being addressed, Malec moments and Alec finally gets the answers he needs.

He glanced up from the book in his lap to the chair across of his place on the couch.

The hazel orbs blinked at the sight.

He lost count on how many times his eyes seemed to stray away – always searching, looking to reassure himself that Magnus was, indeed, here – safe.

With him.

Alec felt his fingers slip away through the pages of the book as his eyes continued to follow Magnus and the little gestures he made while reading his own magical book – the way he flipped the pages while his eyes skimmed through the words, the way he’d unconsciously bite on his lower lip when encountering something of interest, followed by him summoning a piece of paper to write it down. His heart clenched at the thought of how close he was to losing it all.

The sword had been just a breath away from cutting through Magnus…

_One wasted second and he wouldn’t be sitting here with him right now._

“Anything on your mind?”

The hazel orbs blinked through the haze. “Huh?”

“You keep staring at me,” Magnus said with a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

“No, I uh… I wasn’t- I mean, I was, it’s just I didn’t mean… anything,” he said, closing his eyes as the awkwardness swept away from him. “I meant nothing.”

Magnus chuckled at him.

“Of course,” he said and stood up, leaving his book on the glass table.  “Would you like anything to drink?” he offered, looking at Alec in a slight amusement while the shadowhunter desperately tried to avoid eye contact.

“Sure,” Alec muttered, lips pressed tightly together.

His eyes followed Magnus’ retreating form, making him linger, when suddenly his phone went off inside his pocket.

He pulled out the device only to groan internally at the notification.

 **INBOX:** JACE (1)

 **JACE:** IS CLARY WITH YOU?

Frowning, he typed in the reply.

 **YOU:** NO. I’M AT MAGNUS’.

It barely took a moment for another couple of messages to pop in.

 **JACE:** I KNOW.

 **JACE:** I CAN FEEL YOU BUZZING IN JOY.

Alec felt his hand unconsciously move towards the freshly burned rune, before stopping himself and smirking as he typed in.

 **YOU:** DON’T BE JEALOUS.

 **JACE:** I’M NOT.

The phone remained silent for a minute, before a new notification came in.

 **JACE:** I CAN’T FIND HER.

 **YOU:** TRY HER PHONE?

 **JACE:** SHE’S NOT RESPONDING TO MY CALLS.

Alec continued to stare at the screen. Ever since Jace’s abrupt confession about his and Clary’s not-sibling situation, the strain between the two continued on, making it difficult to plan any group meetings without a mediator in between, which, for some reason, had become Alec’s job.

He really wished they left him out of it.

He could feel Magnus’ presence, just as he came to stand on Alec’s left.

“Any pressing matter?”

“No, it’s Jace, he’s, uh…” he trailed off as his eyes caught the sight of what Magnus had got him for a drink. His eyebrow rose in question. “That doesn’t look like anything out of your glass bar.”

The previous smirk reappeared on the warlock’s face.

“Sorry, I’m afraid it’s only a regular black tea,” he said lightly, not appearing all that apologetic. “Stronger drinks will have to wait until you’re fully recovered.”

He offered the moderate size cup with a black, sleek cat on its surface to Alec.

“Really? Come on, Magnus,” Alec couldn’t help complaining but still reached out to take the warm cup out of  his lover’s hand, their fingers brushing against each other’s  as it was passed down.

With flourish, Magnus situated himself on the couch by Alec, one hand occupied with a cocktail. “That was the deal I made with Robert Lightwood to keep you here until you reach full  recovery,” he reminded him while absentmindedly swirling his finger inside the liquid. He then pulled it out, only to bring the digit in his mouth, licking around it, before finally taking a sip of his drink.

The simple act being enough to make Alec feel hypnotized.

After the gruesome encounter with Aldertree, they had immediately teleported to the Institute, lead by Robert Lightwood, and though both Magnus and Alec were barely able to stand on their own, they still refused to separate from each other, clutching onto one another for support. It was only when Izzy came rushing into the room and flung herself at them, speaking through tears of how glad she was to see them both, did they let themselves finally relax.

“I feel fine,” Alec said, staring Magnus in the eyes as he did so.

“That might be so,” Magnus agreed carefully. “But always remember that success comes with little steps. If the other party thinks that you follow their rules now, they’re likely to bend in favor to you in the future.”

The wink he gave him at the end, made Alec roll his eyes in affectionate exasperation. “So all of this pretense is only a part of your elaborate plan in besting my parents, is that what you’re saying?”

“Hm, I’d like to call it me making an effort in trying to tolerate them.”

Alec shook his head fondly at the warlock while taking a careful sip of the hot beverage that his hands still occupied.

For a few moments they both just sat in silence, enjoying the quiet and comfortable atmosphere that being together had created for them. He could feel the side of his calf which was pressed against Magnus’ tingle at their shared contact, feeling aware of every involuntary brush against his leg. He kept glancing up towards Magnus until he finally realized that the casual brushes had become intentional, if the knowing smirk on the warlock’s lips was anything to go by.

Two pairs of eyes had locked together and it seemed to be enough for the world stop.

Alec would have probably burned himself if Magnus didn’t flick his wrist to put the tea cup away with his magic, not forgetting to dismiss his own glass, before leaning in towards Alec with an extended hand just long enough to cup the side of the shadowhunter’s neck to bring them both to lie down on the couch, with Alec hovering above Magnus.

They shared a chaste kiss first, Alec’s eyes fluttering closed before their lips even touched. Magnus opened his mouth more  widely to take Alec’s mouth for a more passionate embrace, fingers tangling themselves inside the dark locks of the shadowhunter, provoking small noises to come out of that mouth.

They continued to share the lazy exploring of their mouths, occasionally daring to go more deeper before coming back to the small nips and brushes, teasing each other more than having any real intent behind the intimacy.

Just as Magnus’ fingers started to trail down the path across Alec’s clothed back, the inside of his pocket emitted a buzz, followed by a few more tremors. It somehow made Magnus burst out laughing, while Alec could only groan, burying his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck.

Alec pushed himself away from Magnus, sitting down straight on the couch as he dug inside the pocket to fish out his phone.

Magnus still had a way-too-embarrassing smitten grin on his face, casually leaning on the side of the couch’s arm, before he noticed the familiar frown on the shadowhunter’s face.

“Are they expecting you?” he asked, while his eyes scanned over Alec’s concerned face.

Alec bit his lip then shook his head.

“No, it’s, uh, it’s fine,” he said, continuing after a short pause.  “It’s my mother.”

Seeing as their shared moment had ended, Magnus adjusted his position on the couch for a more comfortable one, giving his full undivided attention to Alec. “Have you spoken to her at all after coming back?”

He shrugged. “A little, I guess.”

His back was tense, while his eyes stubbornly stared at the distance, without acknowledging anything else, without saying anything. Magnus let them sit in silence, waiting for Alec to gather his thoughts at his own pace, if he even wished to elaborate.

A heavy sigh escaped Alec’s mouth.

“She apologized,” he suddenly said, his jaw clenched.

“Oh?”

“I don’t know if I believe her,” he then admitted, darting his eyes downwards.

He remembered waking up in the Institute, his first thought being Magnus, finding Magnus -  he was so sure that waking up without him meant he probably failed and had lost him - until he was forcefully brought back to the bed and was told that Magnus got taken by Catarina, since, apparently, the Institute didn’t have the right kind of equipment to treat an ailing warlock.

It was only when he had settled down did he notice his mother’s presence by his bed – looking like she hadn’t gotten a night’s sleep for days.

Alec was reluctant to share her company but felt too tired to make an effort in throwing her out. In the end he learned that his mother was appalled to learn of all the things that had happened to him, swearing she had no idea and that she had never meant for anything to hurt him like that.

Alec wasn’t sure if he believed her.

“Well, I probably can’t find many positive things that would describe Maryse,” Magnus said, bringing Alec back out of his thoughts. “But she is your mother. Who, despite her frustrating character, does care deeply about her children. You included, Alec.”

A ringed hand reached out to squeeze Alec’s fist, brushing against his closed fingers until the shadowhunter relented with a sigh, interlocking their fingers together.

“I know, it’s just…” He stopped, bringing a free hand to run through his hair. “I can’t believe she let it all happen,” he said in frustration. “Why, just because she didn’t like you? B-because of her outdated prejudice against the downworlders? Or because she thought you were the same as my dad? She just…”

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I hope you know… that I’d never hurt you like that.”

Something very raw and vulnerable could be heard in the warlock’s voice, and when he looked up, he saw an unsure smile and eyes that shouted loudly of the painful experiences in the past. It made Alec realize how important it was for Magnus that he knew of this. “I know,” he said confidently, squeezing onto their still joined hands.

The brighter smile on the warlock’s face put him more at ease.

“I might not be Maryse’s biggest fan but I’d still not wish her that fate,” Magnus continued in a soft voice, the words bearing a lonely tune as he spoke. “Being betrayed by someone you trust the most can really hurt you in ways you never thought another person capable.”

Alec stared at Magnus in silence, nodding, unsure what would be the proper answer to that. “Yeah… That’s why I didn’t want to stay in the Institute, you know. I just couldn’t…  bare to look at him without punching his face. I mean, I’m grateful to him for saving you but what he did to mom…”

“Is inexcuseable,” Magnus finished for him.

He swallowed tightly. “Yeah.”

He remained silent for a long while, Magnus not saying anything in fear of spooking the tensed shadowhunter, when suddenly Alec flopped back on the couch, bringing Magnus with him as their hands were still linked together, eyes closed. Magnus exhaled a short laugh at seeing Alec behaving so uncharacteristically, a warm feeling filling his insides at seeing the shadowhunter comfortable enough in his presence to let himself lose some of that constant weight on his shoulders.

With his head propped against one hand, Magnus kept silently observing the shadowhunter, his thumb brushing unconscious strokes against Alec’s skin as he did so. “You do know that I welcome you to stay here as long as you want, right?” he asked, gaining only a vague hum out of Alec in return. Magnus’ lips quirked up.

He then let his hand fall from supporting his head, leaning more of his weight on his side as he brought his ringed fingers to play with the thick, dark locks. “But you’d still need to face them one day. You can’t run away forever, my dear,” he said in a soft whisper, then paused a little before continuing. “Especially now that you’re going to be part of the leadership inside the Institute.”

Alec blinked at him in surprise.

“How do you even know about that?”

A sheepish smile passed down on Magnus. “Isabelle kept me informed.”

“Right.” He nodded and turned away, bringing concern in Magnus.

“You don’t sound too enthusiastic about it. It was your dream, wasn’t it?”

He shrugged. “I’m not suited for the job.”

Magnus raised his eyebrow, surprised by Alec’s sudden change. “The Clave seems to think that you are,” he assured him, thinking he was only being overly self-conscious  about the sudden increase in responsibility.

He tried to give Alec a supporting smile.

“The Clave doesn’t know anything,” Alec bit out harshly, causing Magnus to flinch at the sudden outburst and retract his hand from the shadowhunter’s hair.

He wasn’t sure if the joined fingers were welcome so proceeded to separate them also before being stopped by a sudden squeeze of the said fingers. Alec’s eyes kept darting from his eyes to their joined hands, a lost look on his face, making the flight instinct in Magnus recede. Clearly he didn’t mean to take it out on Magnus.

Alec ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

“They – the Clave – they don’t know what they’re doing. They just can’t afford for the Lightwoods name to fall. Otherwise they wouldn’t consider me at all. I mean, how does that even make sense? I was labeled a traitor, I acted of my own interest and broken out a prisoner out of jail – that’s the farthest from being reasonable as they could get.”

“They are not trying to be reasonable here, but smart,” Magnus said, gaining a confused frown out of Alec. Magnus hurried to explain. “The strongest warriors of the Institute follow you in the name of justice. The charges has been dropped against both of us so that makes you following the just path. They need that after Aldertree. Someone to unite everyone and make the right choices.”

“My choices nearly got you killed!” Alec burst out and then seeing Magnus’ shocked expression, stood up, his back facing the couch which still occupied a stunned Magnus.

“Is… that what’s been bothering you?” Magnus asked carefully, watching how the shadowhunter’s back tensed at the words. “Oh, Alec. That wasn’t your fault,” he barely managed to get out before Alec turned around, his eyes shinning in the room’s lighting.

“I made that choice to go meet the Seelies and that nearly got me watching you die by Aldertree’s hand. I-“ His voice cracked, forcing him to stop and take a breath.

Images of the silver blade getting close to Magnus’ neck kept flashing before his eyes, until he had to dig his nails inside his fists to keep himself from trembling.

He could have lost Magnus.

Forever.

Only because of the choice he had selfishly made.

“I can’t make the right choices, Magnus. I… If I can’t even protect you, how am I supposed to run the Institute and be responsible for hundreds of other lives? I just can’t. I…” The words seemed to die out in his mouth, his throat closing in and he turned back again, covering his face with his one hand.

He felt moving and shuffling until a warm hand was pressed against his shoulder, turning him around. He felt devastated. The guilt of his choice was eating him alive, more than ever, now that he let it out in the open, letting himself speak up about it. Something must have shown in his face judging by Magnus’ saddened expression.

Magnus took a shuddering breath before speaking.

“Except you’re forgetting something,” he started speaking slowly, letting his hands settle on both sides of Alec’s shoulders, squeezing as he tried to bring the point across. “I’m not your subordinate, Alec. I stand on equal footing with you. By your side. Not behind you. I made my own choice to go there. I knew the risks.”

Alec’s fingers clenched around the hem of Magnus’ shirt, a stricken expression on his face as he continued to listen to Magnus speak. “It’s not your responsibility to bear the weight of the choice that we both made together.”

A broken sound escaped Alec then and Magnus, not being able to bear it any longer, gathered the shaking shadowhunter in his arms. He kept clutching at him tightly, whispering soothing words in the side of his neck until the tremors stopped.

“I was just… so afraid that I was going to lose you,” Alec admitted after the two separated from their embrace. “I still am. I keep having th- these… dreams, nightmares, with my dad not showing up a- and you…”

“Hey,” Magnus interrupted him, reaching out for his cheek, smiling at him a tender smile. “It’s okay, Alec. I’m here. I’m right here, with you.

Alec just kept shaking his head, his face falling.

He took a deep breath in before speaking.

“I love you. I’ve never loved anyone before but I can’t imagine parting with you.”

The sudden confession took Magnus’ breath away, and though he knew of  Alec’s feelings, the intensity behind the words always surprised him, making him desperate for the shadowhunter. Bringing a hand against the runed neck, Magnus sealed their lips together, swallowing the tiny whimper that escaped Alec.

He knew Alec had his doubts about Magnus not taking enough of the initiative in their shared intimacy but the truth was, Magnus had so much love to share. More often than not, he feared to show it completely, but there were moments of exception  when he knew what his shadowhunter desperately needed, and gave it to him.

When the two separated, they rested their foreheads against each other, sharing their breathing space.

“Feeling better?” Magnus asked while running slow circles against the upper back of Alec’s spine.

“Yeah, I…” He swallowed, taking a step away from their shared space. And before Magnus could voice his concern, burst out his sudden resolve. “I think I’m going to go talk with Aldertree.”

Magnus blinked at him a few times.

Feeling suddenly conscious and in need to explain, Alec brought a hand against the back of his neck as he did so. “They’re bringing him back to Idris tomorrow, and I… I need some answers.”

While the sudden change surprised Magnus, he could understand the shadowhunter’s need for more clarity. “Do you want me to come with you?” he offered, not because he didn’t believe Alec was capable of handling it himself but the man was vicious, who knew how much more damage he could do.

“No, I, uh… I need to do this alone,” Alec said and something in his voice made Magnus stop. He worried his lip in contemplation before exhaling in defeat.  

“I get it. But if anything happens -  call me.”

Alec smiled at him with a nod.

* * *

 

Alec hesitated outside the doors of the cell.

He wasn’t afraid of the man per se, but being close to Aldertree caused him to remember everything that happened, all the heavy thoughts that still haunted him.

With a sigh he pushed the doors open, walking into the room with sure steps.

He didn’t know what he expected, being away from the Institute for a few days as he was, maybe for Aldertree to somehow look imposing even in a holding cell, dangerous, but what he knew he didn’t expect was what he got – a prisoner behind the glass, shabby in appearance, slumped in the chair.

He looked more a man than a monster he had been in the weeks spent in the Institute.

Alec swallowed and cleared his throat to announce his presence to the guards.

“Sir,” the pair greeting him.

“Leave us alone until I ask you back in,” Alec told them in dismissal. The guards nodded and closed the doors shut as they left Alec alone with Aldertree, who had his head up now, looking at Alec with dark eyes.

Steeling his gaze, Alec opened the doors to the cell, letting himself in.

Aldertree continued to keep silent while watching his every move and Alec involuntarily risked a glance towards the metal shackles that bound Aldertree to the further part of the room.

Alec situated himself on the other side, by the wall, hands crossed.

“I want you to tell me why you deliberately attacked me and my family,” he said without further preamble.

The brown orbs continued to stare at him without making any indication of having heard him. Alec clenched his fists, while trying to reign in his frustration. Even now, the man was still playing with him.

They stayed like that – observing each other silently – for another five minutes before Alec decided it was just not worth it.

He turned his head to the side. “Forget it,” he muttered and stalked through the room, towards the doors, before the voice stopped him.

“I was conducting an experiment.”

Freezing in his tracks, Alec slowly turned around. “What?”

“I was doing a psychological experiment on your family,” Aldertree clarified and took a straighter posture on the seat, linking his hands together in a casual manner.

“You what?” Alec heard himself asking again. He came to stand as close as possible to the man, looking at him with incredulity. “You’re telling me you put that blade to  Magnus’ throat for an _experiment_?!” he yelled out, finally losing his composure.

Aldertree continued to stare at him, nonplussed.

“For what it’s worth, I didn’t plan to take it that far.”

Alec just shook his head at the insanity of it all. “What are you- what’re you even talking about? What was… what was even your goal? What did you expect to gain by playing with our minds like that?”

There was a pause before the man replied.

“I wanted to learn the reason behind Eva’s death.”

Alec shook his head in confusion.

“What? Your werewolf girlfriend that you killed?”

Aldertree’s eyes darkened at Alec’s words.

“Yes. The one that died by my hand.” He took a breath, something flickering in his eyes. “That painful experience taught me that a Shadowhunter can never be with a Downworlder. I had made my peace with that.” He gritted his teeth together. “But then you  came – the Lightwoods – one of the most prestigious families in the Shadow world,” he said the last words with contempt. “Drowning yourself in the affairs of the downworlders.”

Alec squinted his eyes as the man continued to talk.

“The adoptive brother – with demon blood running through his veins, the precious daughter – dancing under the sheets with the Seelies, and the eldest son – running away with a downworlder at his own wedding. With the High Warlock of Brooklyn of all people.” He laughed like the mere thought was unimaginable and ridiculous.

“You always interested me the most, Alec. I saw a lot of my younger self in you.”

“We’re nothing alike,” Alec bit out, feeling his skin prickle at the mere suggestion.

“Oh we are,” Aldertree disagreed. “Both taking a Downworlder as a lifetime partner. Except I knew when to stop.” Before Alec could interrupt him, the dark skinned man continued. “For a long time I  believed that Eva died because I had no choice. That it was her nature’s fault. But perhaps that was not her nature, but mine. Watching you, how you kept standing up for the warlock no matter how much I pushed you, made me realize, that I never had that. I have never thought her above myself. Never thought of sacrificing myself for her sake. It made me realize that Eva died that day not because she lost control, but because it was my instinct, as a Shadowhunter, to put down the rogue werewolf.”

Alec shifted on his feet, not sure what he was supposed to say to that.

A deep sigh escaped Aldertree then, making Alec flicker his eyes towards him.

“I can see that you love Magnus Bane deeply, Alec,” he said. “But that love is going to bring the end of this world. And it’s going to be all your fault.”

“What?” Alec asked, feeling something jump inside his throat.

“Don’t misunderstand me. My initial goal might have been my own agenda but using Magnus Bane as a means of settlement was a smart choice. The only choice that kept peace between the two worlds. With you breaking that contract, you let the whole Downworld loose - once again thinking that the Shadowhunters have betrayed them, not keeping their word.”

“Magnus was innocent,” Alec said. “There’s no point in peace if it’s based on falsehood.”

Aldertree chuckled darkly at him, shaking his head. “Clearly you have no experience in this field. How naïve can you be?” he yelled out, making Alec flinch at the sudden outburst. “With this war, you have saved no one. When the two sides will collide, the first thing you’re going to be asked to do is to choose a side. And then, after half of each population is gone, with or without Magnus Bane as one of the casualties, then you’ll have to ask yourself – was one life really worth hundreds’?”

Unable to hear any more, Alec closed his eyes. “I don’t have to hear any more of this,” he said abruptly and made for the door, Aldertree’s voice following him as he went.

“I was trying to stop the war, Alec. You added fuel to the fire.”

The slam of the doors echoed throughout the prison as Alec rushed to get away from that place. He hoped it was the last he would see of Victor Aldertree.

* * *

 

He felt the blood rushing in his ears as he walked through the walls of the Institute.

Aldertree’s words kept ringing in his ears.

_Could his choice really bring the destruction of the worlds?_

He refused to believe that.

But he couldn’t deny the fact that the choice he made, he made it with his heart, and not his head.

He found himself leaning onto the cold wall, breathing deeply.

With shaking fingers, he took out his phone and found the contact number on the device.

After a few rings, it clicked.

_“Alec? Everything all right?”_

Hearing Magnus’ voice brought a smile on the shadowhunter’s face and he couldn’t find it in himself to blame this feeling. This warmth that settled deep into his stomach at just hearing his lover’s voice. How could it be wrong? Magnus was so precious to him. Alec was pretty sure he was the love of  his life. And if this feeling was wrong, something he had to refrain from, then wouldn’t he lose the reason to fight?

His family, his friends and Magnus – they were the people Alec continued to fight for.

Having a scapegoat to stop the war might have been an easier way out, but it was not any less false.

He might be choosing the harder road, and maybe ultimately not everyone would be coming out of it alive, but at least it was a just choice.

He was ready.

Clenching the phone between his fingers, Alec spoke into the phone. “Get ready for war.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued on Freeform June 5th at 8/7c. 
> 
> Some of the issues I left with an open-ending simply because they're going to be addressed in the show and the main plotline of this story was always Aldertree's scheming and Malec fighting against it. 
> 
> I wanted to THANK YOU everyone so much! Especially those who continuously supported me. Also, I wanted to give my special thanks to my beta for all her hard work in making the story look so much more beautiful and to my dearest friend (you know who you are), without whom I wouldn't have been able to write the half of it. Thank you SO MUCH for not letting me give up and urging me on, being a strict critic, loyal fan and my voice of reason. *hugs to all*
> 
> So this is it, guys. I can't quite believe it, but I made it in time before the 2B so I'm glad. I hope you enjoyed the journey. If you can, leave your thoughts below. It would make my day. 
> 
> P.s. Feel free to check out my new story - Demon Heart, Human Soul.


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